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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Imaginary 'tiger' and 'monsters'

13 replies

99redballoons · 25/07/2005 12:27

Hi, not sure how to approach this really. Ds is only 2.1. Dh & I have made our first big mistake (when it comes to films) by letting him watch Monsters Inc without either of us having seen it before (he's only just getting an attention span to sit down in front of a video). The first time he watched it he didn't comment. The second time and now third time he's clearly shown and stated he doesn't like the beginning scene when the monsters are learning how to scare children. Now when he goes to bed he's worried about monsters under his bed.... ARRRGGHHH how could we have been so stupid.. he thought they were lovely happy creatures! until now.. but I guess it has to happen sooner or later. How do you approach this? I've shown him that his bed is solid (divan) and he has a stuffed animal monster that he used to play with when younger that I've fished out and reminded him that he's friendly and will look after him in the night. It's only been two nights though and hasn't worked.

Also, for about two months now he says 'mummy, a tiger's coming' and he rushes to my legs. I ask where is the tiger and he's out in the hall or running towards him. He's not scared scared, but obviously uncomfortable with this imaginary intruder. To my knowledge he hasn't seen anything 'bad' to do with tigers, has seen them in the zoo and has a soft tiger toy. This is a daytime affair. He gets mentioned daily, but nothing I say seems to make any difference. He (the tiger) keeps coming back. How do I handle that one??

Any help very much appreciated!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 25/07/2005 12:32

DSs have a good book about things under the bed where the monster turns out to be more scared of the child on top of the bed than the child is of the monster under it. It has sacrey build up but then the monster runs out from under the bed and out of the house, scared. Might that sort of story work? Alternatively, hide a monster toy under the bed during the day so you can check before DS goes to sleep, haul the monster out and give it a stern talking to before letting it out of the front door.

Can't help with the tiger other than maybe finding some friendly tiger stories?

katzguk · 25/07/2005 12:34

does your son believe in fairies/elves

one method to deal with it is to perform a de-monstering ceremony.

you get some glitter (fairy/pixie dust) and sprinkle it around asking the good fairies to get rid of the monsters

Original poster

99redballoons · 25/07/2005 12:41

just been reading the 3yo nightmare thread on the home page for ideas (someone mentions glitter there too). He loves books so I will hunt around for an appropriate one. Hadn't thought of that.

The tiger one is really strange. We can be in the lounge and he walks out into the hall, looks back at me and says 'the tiger's there mummy'. I say they're friendly and would only want to cuddle you, but he walks back in and has to have some sort of physical contact with me for a few mins. Just starting to worry me as it's been going on for so long now..

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 25/07/2005 12:43

This is the monster book.

Original poster

99redballoons · 25/07/2005 12:46

Thanks soupy!

Just been doing the same myself and found this one.. will read the reviews for both of them.

OP posts:

assumedname · 25/07/2005 12:49

Can you name the imaginary tiger? Oh it's only 'old Stripey, he's just coming for a play. Look, he can't hurt you, he's so old he's lost all his teeth' etc.

I call the upstairs smoke alarm 'Mrs Norris' when my 5 yo was starting to be frightened of it and explained that it was there to help Mummy, like the cat helps Filch.

Or, if you don't want to play into the tiger fantasy, get him a soft toy that he can carry round that frightens tigers?

My 11 yo used to have nightmares. She was given a dreamcatcher and now doesn't (seem) to suffer from them. Perhaps you could hang up something in his room to scare away monsters? Maybe even a picture of the monsters with a no-entry sign on it?

Just rambling now, hope something helps!

Original poster

99redballoons · 25/07/2005 12:59

Some more great suggestions. Thx assumedname.

OP posts:

Original poster

99redballoons · 25/07/2005 13:12

Also found this one but it's 4-6wks delivery... will order the other ones and leave this one for later if the other suggestions don't work. Thanks for your help.

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beccalanismum · 25/07/2005 13:26

Hi when my daughter was just over 2 she had a really anxious phase scarred of bears, spiders, father Xmas - anything - this was especially true at bedtime. They were very real to her and despite much reassurance she was very hard to soothe getting very upset. The Nursery she goes to thought she had a vivid imagination for her age but without the reasoning skills to know the difference between reality and her imagined fears. This lasted about 4 months and then vanished overnight - she was then much more confident even in new sitations. This was very stressful and I felt a bit useless cos I didnt seem to be able to help her much. I just kept repeating the same words to her to reassure her and then she could repeat them to herself almost as a script.

The other issue we had at the time was that we had a new baby - this is supposed to be unsettling as they can develop a fear of abandonment due to the new addition. This is a bit deep for me...

Good luck and I sympathise.

mandyc66 · 25/07/2005 14:27

read the tiger who came to tea!!!

My Ds is scared of spiders and the plug hole!!!
Thanks to an older brother!!!!

triceratops · 25/07/2005 15:09

my ds was terrified of doors after seeing monsters inc at the same age. It took him ages to get over it. Now fierce dogs come out of the cupboard while he is trying to get to sleep unless he has his special elephant to fend them off.

I think it is a stage, I am sympathetic as his fear is real but I don't pander to it or pretend to believe in the monsters or dogs, I just tell him it is a dream and not real.

Original poster

99redballoons · 25/07/2005 15:18

Yes, it must be that he's coming into a new development phase. He also shows his new found imagination by inventing games to play by himself, etc. so I really hope he works it out like beccalanismum's dd. Will look up the other book, sounds like what I need! Thx again.

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Jo0302 · 25/08/2005 15:30

With the monster thing, from about 2.5years, she would suddenly start screaming out at night because there was a monster in her room (i think that was after watching Monsters Inc as well). Anyway, we took her around the room, opened all the cupboards and drawers and showed her that nothing was in the room. We also said to her that the only monster in this room was her. She's now just over 3, and she just thinks it's funny now when she says there's a monster in her room, because she knows we are going to say its her. The only problem we have now with her is bad dreams about bees!!

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