Toddler and Baby sharing a room - how is it ever going to work!?

[Nikna]

Would really like some advice, as at the end of the month we need to convert the nursery back to a guest room and so need 9mth old to move in with 3yr (nearly) DS.

I am dreading it, as toddler is a nightmare at bedtime. Baby wants to be in bed at 6:30pm, toddler is 7pm (ISH) and he is far from quiet. How is ever going to work? Help!

When my 2 were younger (they started sharing when dd was 14 months but a terrible sleeper and ds nearly 3) both us parents put them to bed together and settled one each. Basically ds learned to put up/sleep through with the noise made by dd! I'm sure your baby will too, you just have to try it out and see what works. They still share now (3 and 5) and are very happy together and both sleep fine now.

My younger two shared from when DS2 was about 5 mo and went out of our room.

It was fine. He went through a waking phase after this actually (had been sleeping thru) but DD never woke.

Watching with interest as we plan to move dd in with ds when she is 6 months old and he will be 2.

DS2 went in with DS1(4) just before 1st birthday. Thought it would be a nightmare but it was fine.

I put baby to bed, whilst DH read bedtime story downstairs then one of us put DS1 up to bed.

When there is only one of us around, BabyTV is a godsend! Very calm and perfect for DS1 to watch for 10 minutes whilst I'm upstairs!

They have taken turns being unwell all winter, and getting up during the night. Very infrequently does the other one wake up properly.

Mine were ok, in fact my worst sleeper actually slept better once she started sharing a room!

I moved my two in together when DD2 was 11 months and DD1 was nearly 3. There was an adjustment phase which lasted 2 or 3 weeks when DD2 would bounce up and down in her cot excitedly and DD1 would tear around the room and throw soft toys into DD2 etc. It was all quite hectic initially but they soon settled down and got used to it. DD2 would just crash out when she was tired even if DD1 was making a noise. In fact they were both much more settled and relaxed once they had got used to sharing - neither of them much liked being on their own. If one or other of them ever woke in the night they didn't seem to disturb each other, they were used to each other and noise and ignored it. They are 5 and 3 now and love sharing and feel terribly sorry for their little brother who is on his own.

I would just go for it, you will soon find out what works best for you all. In a months time you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

OK what we sometimes do (younger is very good sleeper and older is sometimes hard to settle down) is to get older DS to erink his milk downstairs watching 10 minutes of telly, read him books on our bed, and put him to bed when he is already a bit dosy. It works for us. They have been sharing since they were 1 and 2.5 and it's been fine. Although when one of them is ill, we have a spare cot mattress and one of them can sleep on the floor in our bedroom.

Our dd was 2.5 when we began to move ds in with her (I say began, because we still have a travel cot up in our room as he's not a great sleeper and has been ill a lot recently, so often decamps as some point during the night).
I digress... One thing that I did that really seemed to help was to do lots of 'rehearsing' with dd for a day or so before we put ds down in her room ie dd staying asleep/quiet whilst mummy goes in to feed baby etc. I think it really helped her understand what was expected of her and (touch wood) she's never in the last 4 months deliberately woken him up.

I posted this similar topic on the parenting board today - it's been helpful reading everyone else's replies. If we are unable to move house by end of this year then DS1 will have to get used to DS2 sharing the room from around 4 or 5 months old. There will be a 3.3 year age gap between them.

Thanks for all the advice. Had a giggle at your DD's, NellyTheElephant, as that is just as I imagine my boys - one bouncing in the cot while big bro throws toys in ;)

Will post how we get on. I have been talking to DS1 about it and how we need to have quiet time once DS2 is in bed. Not a lot of quiet happening just yet.

The big move will be next week-ish (gulp)

Nikna do let us know how you get on won't you - I only have one baby at the moment (10 months) but plan to be preg with second by the end of the year so my 2 will have to share too, as we only have 2 bedrooms.

Good luck!! L

watching with interest...am planning on putting my DD (5 months) in with my 2.5 yr old DS in a month or so...but given DD dreadful sleeper and DS is a good one VERY reluctant. We have a third bedroom but is used for all storage, paperwork, spare bed for guests and as in attic is too hot in summer too hot in winter. Spring ok up there- so may move her there for a few months until sleeping improves then move her in.......just don't know. too tired.........

good luck= let us know!

My dcs, now 2.1 and 3.11, have been sharing ever since ds2 was about 4 months old iirc. I wanted to keep our 3rd bedroom as a guest room (and somewhere for me or dh to sleep if he is snoring). I also thought it would be nice for them to have company for each other.

On the whole it works fine. In the early days, when ds2 was a small baby, he used to just fall asleep regardless of how much noise ds1 was making. We had a brief period of ds1 climbing into the cot and poking ds2 awake, but that soon passed.
Even if/when ds2 wakes in the night screaming it rarely disturbs ds1.

There are only two major downsides, ime. One is that whoever wakes up first in the morning inevitably wakes the other up (often at silly o'clock) and there is no chance of persuading them to go back to sleep. The other is that they trash their room as a sort of team effort every bloomin' morning - books thrown everywhere, toys everywhere, clothes emptied out of cupboards etc. Bit of a PITA putting it all back again every day.

Im planning on putting my 3 month old DD in with her 3 year old brother sometime soon.
Hopefully it will go nice and smoothly, we live in a flat and they go to bed at pretty much the same time now anyway.

Well we are three nights in and it is not been as scary as I thought. 9 month old DS is put in his cot at 6:30, then 3 (almost) yr old DS has story time down stairs. Tonight he was noisy when he went to bed and DS2 woke up and cried, then within minutes was bouncing up and down in his cot while toys got flung in.

Even though routine has gone out the window for the moment, the sound of hysterical giggling coming from upstairs this evening was brilliant to hear.

Ah bless! And how about night wakings?

The more I think about it, the more I'm pro-sharing you know. It will really do them good in the long run I think.

Would love some more input and experiences on this, as we're hesitating to put dd2 in with dd1, but really need to get our own room back, as she is nearly 10 months. My worry is not bedtime, as they both go at more or less the same time and tend to both go straight to sleep, but the mornings - dd2 might start crying on and off any time from 4am, and I dread dd1 waking up that early: she is very tired all day if she wakes up before 7.