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5 year old dd having huge tantrums evreytime I go shopping, the stares are getting me down

9 replies

LeopardSkinPillBoxHat · 01/04/2010 16:55

I pick up my 5 year old dd from school, sometimes I have to head into town to buy some bits, (i do try and get as much done when she is in school, believe me) When I pick her up I always come well prepared with snacks (bananas, rice cakes, etc,all healthy with no added sugar btw) because I know she never eats all her food in school...

With out a doubt, she will have a huge tantrum, and ball her eyes out because I will refuse to buy her whatever it was she begged me for, (it really can be anything, from sweets to new underwear to shoes, all depending on the shop we were in) I am always srtict, and I never give in. My daughter always gets alot of attention in shops because she is very pretty, and when she balls her eyes out, I get stares and frowns from people like Im an abusive bad mother or something, I usually ignore and plod along, but for some reason it really upset me today, everyone was pulling faces like thety felt sorry for my daughter, and saying 'aaaww' to her, I did say to a few folk that she was simply having a sulk because I refused to buy her chewing gums, but they still continued to pitty her, this made her cry 10 times louder.... I am at the end of my tether, its easter holidays now, there are loads of events for the kids in the town, I really dont want to take her I KNOW she will have tantrums and make a massive scene, nothing I do calms her. dh is away for the whole of easter, its sometimes easier when he is with us, he can take her away from the situation and tell her that its wrong, I am completely on my own with no other people to help me, what can I do !!....Ive do the step punishment, 5 minutes etc etc, I feel like the evil mother! please help me someone?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AvadaKedavra · 01/04/2010 17:08

Have you tried asking for her to help you, making her a list (pictoral?) of her own etc? Failing that, Ocado!!

Oblomov · 01/04/2010 17:10

she is 5. this is a control thing. she is good in school ? bet she is !! she knows she is getting to you.
she is too powerful.
not sure what to suggest, but just to mention that at 5, she starts to become aware that mummy doesn't like it when i do this.

Oblomov · 01/04/2010 17:11

only say this, becasue ds(6) is a treasure at school, but sulky, answering back, stroppy and a pain at home. it has dawned on us how he must have now recognised thta he is powerful. too powerful.we are working on it.

LeopardSkinPillBoxHat · 01/04/2010 17:20

god my spelling is terrible sorry, I didnt bother to check before I posted.

We have done the list thing, but she usually throws it at me and says ' I dont want to help you anymore because you wont buy me (whatever it was)' stamping her foot.(and screaming at me.

Is this something I have to live with??

she is very well behaved in school. people love her!??? She will even have tantrums in the morning because I dont have the cereal she wants, so refuses to eat.. she isnt an only child, we have another dd who is 2. is it a girl thing? I hope not.

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RubysReturn · 01/04/2010 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hana · 01/04/2010 17:34

you know, I'd just avoid going to the shops with her, esp afterschool. It's no fun when she's had a long day at school, can't blame her for acting up.

LeopardSkinPillBoxHat · 01/04/2010 17:49

yes, being tired after school is probably a big factor. Thing is, we have these tantrums on the weekend too, we live in a town, so to get out of the house, means a walk around the town, to get to the park involves walking through the town, she just want want wants ALL the time, when we leave the park she yawls all the way home....really it seems she will kick up a fuse over anything...even at home...her cries arent even real all the time, she just makes this really loud pretend cry, with no tears, and screams.

OP posts:
RubysReturn · 01/04/2010 17:52

This reply has been deleted

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NK5c74826eX126faefc14d · 01/04/2010 19:14

Make life easy for yourself - do your food shopping online, anything else you need try and buy online as much as possible. I know you said you try and get as much as possible while she's at school but for the moment I would avoid trips to town after school.

Is she in reception? Reception can be a killer year. My (normally placid) dd was a nightmare after school for pretty much the whole year. After tv and sandwiches she was fine but there was no way I could contemplate doing anything after school.

It WILL pass and it WILL get better.

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