how 'civilised' is your 14 month old?

[drivingmisscrazy]

This is more or less tongue in cheek/curiosity. DD is happy, smiley and mostly pretty well behaved for a 14 month old. I love her to bits. But one key element of parenting is to teach her how to conform to social norms (or the basic ones, at least), and I'm not sure how well I'm doing with this (I should say that as far as I'm aware she's healthy and normal), but

• while she can drink from a cup, she'll only do so in the bath, otherwise prefers me to help her, or drink from a bottle

• while she can spoon feed herself, generally she prefers to smush everything with her hands and feed herself that way
• knows perfectly well that she shouldn't fling her plate/bowl/spoon on the floor, but does it anyway
• complains, shouts and cries every time she is changed (I have some cunning distraction methods, but still), unless it is after swimming and she can see the benefit of clothing

- will happily wander around half dressed, no nappy, creating food trails wherever she goes (though did cry when she peed on herself today )

I should stress I'm not worried about her - she has about 30+ words, points, waves etc etc, just wondering when and how she will learn to not make quite such a hideous mess (I should fess up to a slight phobia about the horrid cold masticated food mess)

Please chill out.

Sounds like a perfectly normal 14mo to me.

I had the same thoughts tbh, but it all is very normal. My DS is 20mo and has recently stopped throwing his bowl/plate when finished, and started handing it to me to take away I thought he'd never get the hang of it, but it must have sunk in.

Lol, she is only 14 months old!

As she grows up she will gradually become aware of social norms.

Dd is 15 months. She also screams at change time and getting dressed. Her 3 year old brother also complains about getting dressed although he does see the necessity of doing so to leave the house, just not when we are staying at home!

She eats with her hands/waves a spoon around. Ds eats like a pro when in public but often uses hands at home, hell knives and forks are tricky! Dd throws food on the floor when she is done, ds has long since stopped doing so. When dd does it I tell her to put it on her plate if she is done and she does so but next time it will start again. She is learning.

As for cups, they are tricky, they often need help. How many times have you had one of those "forgotten how to drink" moments as an adult and spilled it down your chin?

She is still small, she likes things to be easy and she likes to control what she can to assert her growing independence.

bonsoir - I did say at the start that it was tongue-in-cheek, curiosity - I am not at all worried about her - she seems perfectly normal. I'm just interested in how she gets from being a little primate (that is, after all what we are - and I am reminded of it every time I watch her eat fruit ) to being a small person

"I'm just interested in how she gets from being a little primate (that is, after all what we are - and I am reminded of it every time I watch her eat fruit ) to being a small person"

Blink and you'll miss it [soppy ] I get pangs of longing for a little baby again whenever dd races up like the busy little madam she is turning into demanding to put her shoes on or something