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Toddler woes

2 replies

HappyBump · 01/04/2010 06:25

My toddler (2 years 4 months) is not reacting well to his new baby brother (2+ months). He is getting progressively worse as the weeks pass.

DS1 is not necessarily mean to DS2 although in the last few days he has tried to hit him. How to I nip it in the bud? other than saying, stop don't do that, don't hurt your brother.

DS1 has also become more clingy and hates me being out of his sight. I have tried to give him more one-on-one time but it is hard when I bf'ing to do that though.

DS1 cries a lot more than he used to as he knows that when DS2 cries he gets more immediate attention. He also shouts at me a lot, which I try to ignore but it is wearing me down.

After being a relatively good sleeper from when he was one until he was about 2, he now will only go to sleep if we (99% of the time me) sit with him until he is asleep then we have to creep out. Now when he wakes up he gets up and climbs into my bed which isn't so bad as he sleeps the rest of the night with out of problem although he is a dreadful wriggler and I get less sleep as his preferred sleep position is squeezed as closely as possible to me. DS2 seems like a dream baby in comparison (obviously not that I am comparing!)

I know that this is all probably normal but please tell me it is a phase that will quickly pass and give me any tips you may have so that I can handle it better. The shouting at me and generally crying a lot more and being quite difficult is getting me down a bit today.

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MrsJamin · 01/04/2010 06:35

I have 2 boys with a similar age gap, just finding my way as well! One thing that really affects how happy DS1 is is amount of direct attention in the day from me, eg reading stories together while i'm bfing DS2, putting DS2 in a sling (would really recommend a Kari Me one if you don't have one) and then doing something together with DS1 like playdoh. They just need lots of reassurance that you're there for them too.

HappyBump · 01/04/2010 17:21

Thanks MrsJamin. I'm sorry you are going through it too, but it is nice to know that I am not alone.

I do have a sling (a hug-a-bub) which I put to good use, especially when DS2 was much smaller, I've actually not used it so much in the last couple of weeks as I had wanted DS2 to stay awake for longer periods and he instantly falls asleep when I put him in it. I will get it out again though.

I have been trying to spend more time with DS1, really listening and focusing on him but I think he finds as it isn't 100%, it isn't enough. You are definitely right though one-on-one time does affect how happy DS1 is. It must be so hard for them to comprehend that they have to share mummy.

He is really trying to talk so much more these days as well, so I am trying to spend more time listening to what he has to say rather that just talking at him and telling him what to do!

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

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