Feeling an unloved mummy! Am i being irrational??

[julie8940]

Hello

I am new to mumsnet and was wondering if any other mums ever feel this way.
Our son has recently turned 2 and whenever daddy is at home or we all go out together, my son does not seem to want to know me or participate in any activities, that do not involve dad!
I do not begrudge this-in fact i am very pleased that dad and son bond so well as i know some dads are not really into their kids, but i am starting to feel a tad unwanted/unloved!
Even when in the garden, son does not and will not let me push him on the tractor-only daddy and even when indoors, he goes and sits on daddys knee, happy as larry and hardly ever comes and sits with mummy if dad is in the same room!
I know i am being irrational, but it is starting to hurt my feelings, even though i logically know that my little boy is only 2 and cannot possibly know he is doing it to hurt feelings?
Am i a paranoid idiot or do any other mums feel this way?

Any thoughts would be gratefully appreciated!

DS went through stages, I think up til around 2 it was me he wanted to be with all the time, them daddy was the hero, then me again for a bit, then daddy and now at 8 it has evened out.
It sucks, but remember that you'll be a parent for many years to come and there will be many times when only mummy will do and also when he's a bit older you will have a great relationship.
I hear about boys being mummy's boys, but mine thought his daddy was the best.

Thanks for the reply-i reckon that he is going to be a daddys boy,not just because of his behaviour recently-he has always wanted daddy, just never to this extent. I take on board what you say though and look forward to being the hero again soon!
Thanks again for the advice!

The way I would look at it is, you carried DS for 9 months and will always have that bond. But dad's have to build their bond, so if DS is going through a stage where only daddy will do, just cherish it and remember you had DS all to yourself for a whole 9 months. My DS is only 17 months and he's all mommy mommy mommy until daddy comes home, then I'm just in the way of his fun :-( But then when he starts getting tired he wants mommy again. It swings in round abouts, be happy and content your DS has a daddy that wants to interact with his son so much. Kids use parents for different things they require, I know I still do with my parents and I'm 36 lol.

Is he affectionate when your DH is not there. Maybe he is just making the most of the time he has with him and taking you for granted a bit, but if you get plenty of time alone with him then is that such a problem?

aw, from the sound of it it seems like he is SO comfortable in your love for him that he doesn't need to work for it! My son is now 3 and he did the exact same thing! When I was always there for him it seemed like he didn't 'value' me the same way as his dad because his dad was always 'out at work' and so time with his dad was a 'treat' but I was taken for granted! I was there anytime so I just got taken for granted and ignored whenever his dad was there! When I started work and he spent less time with me cries I started to get more attention from him.

Don't worry. Your little man probably is feeling so secure in your love for him that he doesn't yet know that you and he are not the same person.

I should make the most of it! You don't know when you're well off.