Out of the whole school, my child is the only one who.....

[JackRabbitBauer]

refused to take part in the Easter Bonnet parade.

She doesn't do well with crowds of people watching her without being prepared for it in advance. It was inside instead of outside and they randomly decided that as well as lining the halls with parents/grandparents/people off the street, they woudl also bring in Years3-8 to watch as well.
Nursery trooped in, DD1 took one look at the room, face crumpled,tried to hide behind her teacher, spotted me and pushed her way into the crowd to me and wouldn't come out. I had teachers, TA's and HT trying to persuade her but no, she spent the whole time shaking while clutching onto my leg while nursery, reception and years 1 and 2 paraded round to music

reassure me that everyone wasn't looking and judging me, please!

no they weren't looking and judging, well they may have been looking, but will sympathy I'm sure, and relief that it wasn't their child

Poor thing.

Thanks taf. She isn't well as well, has possible UTI/thrush and was off for a week so her teachers know she isn't right.
At christmas I had to show her the hall (on the sly) and reassure her over and over that no-one would look at her, she wouldn't practise at home in case I watched her.
She was ok on the day, but kept glaring at me to stop looking, and then refused to do the second performance. She's so shy, but it isn't consistent IYSWIM so people don't realise that she has to make such an effort to chat.

I am amazed that she was the only one!
Completely normal to be outfaced by something like that.
My first impact on the peforming arts was to refuse to wear a chicken hat in an Easter Dancing Display at the Church hall dance class I attended, and to not be part of the show as a result.
I work in the theatre, now....

I used to be a teacher and I think your dd sounds entirely normal. There are normally a few who don't fancy it much, no one minds.

How old is she?

That's the sort of thing dd1 used to do in nursery/reception

At sports day last year there was a sort of half time bit where the children were allowed to come over to the parents. When it came to going back, mine was the only one who cried and refused to go. She was also the only one at gymnastics and at singing group who cried and clung to her mum. She's much better now, goes off to Rainbows without a backward glance and is much more confident at school.

Yes people look, but it's usually in sympathy or an effort to show solidarity

Meditation might help your DD to get some space.

The homeopathic remedies Arnica, Aconite and Gelsenium might be of help. They're for Shock, Dread and for Stage Fright kind of fear. HTH

Oh poor sweetie. It's OK, and it's completely normal. It can be totally un-nerving to be the centre of attention in this way.

Nobody will be at all judgemental - these things happen. I remember seeing a child in R or Y1 being discreetly helped from the stage in floods of tears - apparently another child had wet himself just as they were leaving the classroom, and this had un-nerved the other child so much that he went to pieces.

Thanks guys, she is 4.1, the 'parade' was nursery to yr 2.
I didn't spot anyone looking but was aware that she was the only one and the pupils were. Plus had just had DD2 kick off in front of everyone when I tried to take her out of the buggy

My kids are weird.

Completely normal, I think its actually a bit much for all the nursery kids to take part with the mainschool, my DD had her easter bonnet parade with all the rest of the School, she is 3 and although she did it, she was not that happy about it.
World book was worse though as they all had to parade indivdually to show off their costumes, DD looked panic striken!!!
You have to remember that eventually your little one will start to take part in all the activities, I am surprised that there were no more kids refusing to do it.

god, your kids aren't weird - or at least not any weirder than mine

ds2(10) still hates dressing up and no way would he have taken part in an easter parade when he was 4

ds1 refused to take part in any performance-type thing in primary - he's in y8 and just had a starring role in his school play, so it doesn't mean your dd will never take part - she'll do it when she's ready

and zazen, may I refer you to Ben Goldacre on homeopathy - you do know, don't you that a sugar pill can't cure stage fright

thanks both and especially basil (for all comments)

I do appreciate all the comments, it is good to hear from people who weren't trying to reasuure me at the time that she will grow out of it. My family find it very odd, she won't speak to anyone on teh phone and takes a good few hours to relax in anyone's company apart from MIL and my mum, even FIL will be ignored for a few hours before she relaxes and then she is chatty McChatterson. They don't expect her to suddenly be shy again next time.
I do worry that people think she is being rude as well, she is so tall and looks like a 7 yr old (seriously) so they expect her to respond as one!