Crying in 7 month old

[Ladyem]

Am at a loss as to what to do. DS is 7 months and my 2nd DC. Gorgeous boy and easy to feed/put to sleep etc. BUT... he screams the house down if I put him down, for example on his play gym, in his bouncy chair, swing etc. or if I leave the room. He pretty much only wants me to deal with him. I have to make DDs meals, toilet trips, nap times to the sound track of the baby literally screeching.

I have to put him down to do these things and also just to give DD some time and do activities with her. She's 3 next week, so still very little herself and she is very patient with him, gives him toys and hugs when I am cooking or washing up. But even she has started saying "DS is crying his eyes out again"

He has been like this since birth, so I don't think it's the usual separation anxiety that they get around 6 months, although that could be making it particularly bad at the minute.

The minute I pick him up he stops crying and goes back to being a lovely happy boy. He's just so gorgeous when he is happy, and I understand that some babies feel the need to be held more for reassurance, but the screaming is really getting me down.

Any advice would be gratefully received.

Oh dear! Have you tried a sling at all?

Thanks for the reply! I have a kari me sling Which I have used, but I don't like to use it when I'm cooking as he tries to grab knives, hot pans etc!! It's very draining. And I feel bad for him as he looks so distressed. Real tears and everything.

Bump!

Bumping for the morning shift!

Any advice welcome. We've only been up since 7.15 and for most of that he's been crying. Am at the end of my tether...

I keep being told by various people to put him in another room to 'teach him that he won't get attention for crying' Not sure about that, myself.

I didn't get to eat any tea last night as he was crying all the time I was cooking. DD needed her tea and was crying because she has been ill with croup and so was really miserable. DH was in a mood as he came home to a miserable house. By the time we'd got them in bed I was so stressed I couldn't eat.

Good grief, you don't try and teach that to a 7 month old!! You're quite right to ignore them - a baby cries to communicate, not to manipulate you.
It does sound like you're having a seriously rough time. I know what you mean about cooking in the sling - I used to find the same thing, although the wrap sling we had was pretty good for everything else. DH could perhaps have been a bit more helpful. Does DS still cry if your husband cuddles him - is it you he wants? Does it seem to be the cooking that's the trickiest thing? - probably partly because it's low-blood-sugar time for everyone including you, but also because as you say, sling-cooking is v tricky. How much is DS eating? Does he sit up in his highchair and eat finger foods? Is he happy to be near you while you do things, or is it cuddles all the way?

Thanks for the reply Octaviapink!

DS does just seem to want me, but I think that is because I am with him all day as DH has to go out to work at 6am and isn't back until 6pm, so he only seems him for an hour a day in the week. If I hand him to DH when he isn't crying he will be ok until I come into the room, then cry for me to hold him.

DS has a good appetite. Still in the early stages of weaning, but he eats a good amount of solids 3 times a day and has breastfeeds in between, although I'm trying to introduce a bottle of EBM in the hope that DH can feed him every so often and perhaps this will make DS feel more comfortable with him.

He will eat a few finger foods, but mainly gags on them, so I'm limiting them and giving more 'mush' at the minute which he takes well. He sits in one of those bumbo chairs with the little tray table.

He isn't even happy if I stay close to him/lie on the baby gym with him. He just wants cuddles. It's the exact opposite to how DD was as she was all about DH!! Probably why it is also hard for DH as he feels that DS doesn't really like him.

My DS2 was the same. Although it started at around six months and is FINALLY tailing off now at 11 months.

I completely understand your despair. I would say that his constant crying and moaning all day every day contributed to my PND. It's utterly exhausting listening to it and it makes you feel like you're a bad mummy otherwise you'd be able to make him happy surely? (this is only how I felt of course, i'm not saying you should feel like this)

Now he's a bit better I can see that the constant crying was down to a combination of things. Mainly that he has had almost constant ear infections (could this be a cause of your DS's moaning?) which often had no symptoms other than him pulling at his ear, teething and finally boredom. Although he's still not crawling he can now entertain himself so much better than before.

So there is an end in sight, I promise.

DD was a little like this sometimes and we worked out eventually that it wasn't so much the cuddles she wanted as the input. She never, ever like baby gyms/lying down/swings/chairs etc because she wasn't upright. She never lay happily in your arms either. She liked to be up, looking and stimulated at all times. Somebody lent us one of those flying saucer activity station whatsits and she used to be able to stand in that for the short time it took me to cook/clean/whatever and she was MUCH happier. She got better as she got more mobile. She was v frustrated when not able to move around by herself.

ladyem are you me??? I can totally empathise with you, I have a 6 month old ds who witters and whinges all day if he's put down escalating into full on screaming very quickly. I also have my lovely 3 year old dd who although very loving and patient with him looks so sad as everytime I try to read/do a puzzle etc. with her just gets interrupted!

Like yours he's the smiliest most sunny gorgeous little boy ever when he's glued to me, and I can't even sit down and hold im he likes me to jiggle him and walk about!! My friend is going through this too and like your dd when my dd was this age it was all about her Daddy .

I actually feel like I'm losing it a bit at times I'm so ground down and fed up with it, he won't even play on his gym or in his bouncy chair with me lying/sitting next to him.

Know what you mean about the eating too, am regularly too sressed and tense to eat.

I really hope someone comes along with some good ideas as I'm desperate! Have acually thought about going back to work early as struggling to cope with this.

DS is fine when I'm not around and also a lot less demanding when we're out, am thinking it could possibly be boredom related?

Cranial Osteopathy? Worth a shot maybe?

Thanks for all of the replies!

Countrylover - It's good to know that it does get better! I don't think that he has any ear infections or anything as he seems well in himself and is eating well. He's also really happy and chatty when I'm holding him, so I think he just likes the closeness and reassurance. I can understand that, but it is hard work!!! Glad to hear that your DS is much happier and content now!

Showofhands - DD was like your DD in that she was very frustrated at not being able to move! She started dragging herself across the floor at 6.5 months and was much happier to be able to get whatever toy (remote control/phone/shoe... ) that she was after! We have one of those activity stations and I can sometimes get 10 minutes of happiness from him in it, so may be it is the up right thing again. DD loved her play gym and bouncy chair, but he just seems to dislike them for some reason.

minxofmancunia - Sounds like we are in the same boat! It is so wearing, isn't it? And I just don't want to look back on his first few months and think 'Blimey, that was awful!' I want to look back and think how lovely it was, especially as I don't think we'll be having any more DCs. It's effecting his ability to roll/crawl too as he just lays rigid and crying if I put him on the play mat, so he has only this week learned to roll over!! Funnily enough, the only place I can put him down and get on with things is in the bathroom!! He will happily lay on the floor grabbing his feet and gurgling for about 15 mins while I have a bath or clean the loo!! Perhaps he knows that I won't be leaving the room without him rather than when I put him down in the living room it is because I have to go off and do something else.

Well both DCs are asleep in bed so I'm having a well deserved relax and cuppa. Fingers crossed for a better evening.

Thanks again, everyone!