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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

5.5yr old still wetting in the day time

17 replies

AnnieLou71 · 30/03/2010 16:22

At my wits end with my daughter wetting in the day but not at night. I've been down the HV route and hospital and basically they've washed their hands of any form of help. She is totally dry by night and so the wetting is purely behavioural. I've tried sticker charts, rewards, giving things and removing toys etc but she is not bothered about anything even not going to parties seems to have no effect. Also have ignored the wet pants, even put a pile of clean ones in the loo but nothing seems to cut any ice with her. Any help out there would be much appreciated!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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CantSupinate · 30/03/2010 18:26

Does she have any other SN or sensory issues?

Original poster

AnnieLou71 · 30/03/2010 19:03

No none, just likes to control me!

OP posts:

heth1980 · 31/03/2010 09:21

I'm not in the same situation but I have to say on reading your post my initial reaction was to say ignore it. Presumably she is able to change her own pants/clothes when she is wet? Does she do it herself or do you end up doing it for her? I would suggest a reaction of "oh well, you'd better go and get changed then" and leave it at that. Maybe all your efforts with the stickers/rewards etc has turned into a bit of a game do you think?

SnotBaby · 31/03/2010 09:26

That was my first thought, too. Seems you have tried lots of strategies- ignoring is definitely worth a sustained try now.

Perhaps when the warmer weather kicks in you could have some days in the garden/park wearing very little, so accidents matter much less.

I'm assuming she is at school, how do things work there?

Original poster

AnnieLou71 · 01/04/2010 16:17

Yes she changes herself and it's with the oh well put your dirty pants in the utility, go wipe yourself clean and get some fresh ones. I've also ignored her completely about it but she just gets hysterical in getting me to talk to her. She wets at school but only enough to wet the gusset so not very obvious. Have had to collect her from school on one occasion where she had wet so many times that her bits and surrounding area swelled and she was crying and walking like John Wayne. I had hoped that the severity of this occasion was so bad it would stop her but alas no. The summer is easier but she's now had 2 urine infections that have required very strong antibiotics to clear the infection up

OP posts:

twopeople · 01/04/2010 20:09

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

AnnieLou71 · 01/04/2010 20:27

On many occasion believe me most of the time she just shrugs her shoulders and says she doesn't know. However, once she did tell me that she did it to annoy me. I ask her quite often but try and leave it to when she is in an affable mood rather than at the time when she's not. Scarlett is a very astute little girl who takes great care in her appearance so this whole wetting scenario just doesn't fit the mould.

OP posts:

tattygirl · 01/04/2010 20:55

My five year old had a spate of doing this for about three months at the start of Year One last September. I tried everything (nagging, rewards, stickers etc) but eventually she became completely dry again of her own accord. No idea what triggered it but she had been dry for a couple of years previously.

Original poster

AnnieLou71 · 01/04/2010 22:46

My daughter's spate has lasted since 18 months! She has had to contend with the birth of her twin brothers when she was aged two and even if they were to blame initally I think 4 years later even a HV couldn't use that ask an excuse! Weirdly she pressured me so much into potty training but the belief then was once you started you should never go back - how I wish I had then. Her mood is so determined by this wetting, when she's dry she is such a lovely, caring, thoughtful little girl and we have such a bond. I have made such an effort so we have separate grown up time out as I have friends with twins and she has 2 sets in her class at school, one girl of which she is best friends with so she doesn't alienate twins or think of them as different in any way. I just wish we could get over this and move on ...

OP posts:

SusieR · 02/04/2010 21:37

I read this with sympathy. DS is nearly 4, was desparate to potty train at 2.5 (seen older sister on loo), but still wets his pants for short periods everynow and then. I have no idea why. I know illness and swimming have an effect, which is fair enouigh, but sometimes he does for no apparent reason.

Original poster

AnnieLou71 · 03/04/2010 12:09

Thanks for the sympathy as you actually don't get much and have it assumed that it's something you've done to create the problem. My daughter is driest when she is ill funnily enough, I just think she doesn't has the energy then to persue this habit. Also she isn't moody when she's ill so I'm a firm believer that if the wetting is resolved so will the moodiness.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 03/04/2010 12:15

How about putting her back in nappies?

I mean seriously perhaps the thought of going to school in nappies may be enough for to accept that you're not going to tolerate the behaviour anymore?

I take it that she has had a period of many months where she was dry during the day?

I would also increase the amount of fluids she drinks by hook or by crook so she has to empty her bladder more often and reduce the risk of infection.

CarGirl · 03/04/2010 12:16

I wonder if over the last 18 months she has desensitised her bladder so it's not just habit it anymore.

pranma · 03/04/2010 21:48

pullups?

ppeatfruit · 05/04/2010 10:32

The urine infections and strong anti biotics may well be connected with the wetting.

It does seem odd that she's dry at night though; could it be a food intolerance? Does she drink a lot of milk "cos that has been linked with 'wetting ' problems.

From what you say she's not doing it deliberately. get her to drink filtered water and plenty of it, plus cranberry juice, that may help.

ajllan · 05/04/2010 18:47

Hi - we have a 4 yr old who is not dissimilar. she was diagnosed with an irritable bowel and had been given medication which helps. This came via the paediatrican not the HV.

Other advice I got from Mumnet was to avoid orane juice and make sure she keeps drinking lots.

A freind also suggested contacting a specialist paediatric urologist. Might be worht a try. Good luck - I know how much this can get you down.

SusieR · 22/04/2010 10:49

Just wanted to post that I tried your advice Ajllan regarding the ornage juice. Ds only has one cup of juice in the morning now, be it apple or orange and the rest of the day he just has water until a small milk at bedtime. So far we have had dry pants. It may be a happy coincidence but its good for us.

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