my child is too sensitive....any suggestions?

[LuckyMother]

My son is 5 years old. He is too sensitive and very innocent. When he is with me I try to make him understand the reality but at school, he gets very upset with small things. he understands everything in a bit matured way and expect the other kids in his class to understand him in the same way. But kids are kids. I am very worried about mine one. because of his sensitive nature he says he tries to understand the way other kids behave in the school but when he expect the same from them they dont, and he gets very upset with this. because of this he says nobody is my friend in the school. They all take me for granted. he says," they only play with me whev they like and I have got no friend." I try to explain him to ignore cdertain things and try to be busy with other things. Do something that you can do by yourself such as playing with sand, origami etc. but he always cries and says I need a good friend mumma. This makes me upset as well. I dont know how to make him understand. he is too small to understand the clever and tricky way of behaving. Can you please suggest me how to train him to behave with other kids?

I don't think you can train him as such. My dd1 is the same, she has mild Aspergers syndrome (i'm not saying that is what your ds has), she is very sensitive, gets upset when people don't want to play with her and finds it hard to tell when people are joking or not. Dd1 is 6 and has improved slightly in the past year, she does not cry as much at school and will try and shrug things off.

Oh he sounds lovely! You can't 'train' him only help him understand why other kids act the way they do. HAve a look at this. There is a questionnaire you can fill in for your ds and if he seems to fit the criteria of a highly sensitive child, there is a great book on amazon that should help you learn how to help him!

Please give up any thought of training him. You can't. and shouldn't. He doesn't need to be like other kids, he needs to be wholheartedly accepted and valued for who he is (and he sounds a real gem )

Keep faith with him and accept (as I have with my sensitive DS) that their social skills and understanding are just way ahead and the other children will take time to catch up. But they will and your DS will have the social skills to make really good, deep friendships when the other kids are ready.

And never forget that you can't actually help him with school stuff; never be afraid of going to the teachers, it's what they are there for. And at this age they should be spending alot of time on social skills and helping the kids to develop and foster friendships. Make the school help you!

He sounds like a georgous little chap! As already said, he can't really be trainined in how to behave with other kids...you either have it or you don't at that age, but as he gets older, and the work in school more strucured, I think he'll find the school day easier.

Thanks a lot to you all for your suggestions. I would definately try to be this way. Thanx.

My son is still sensitive (he's 13) now. People are starting to 'get' him now, because they appreciate having a friend who's kind and has no side.

This world need more kind thoughtful sensitive innocent children.. He will grow out of the crying hopefully not the rest

There is a very good book that Jimjams recommended here years ago:

"The unwrittten rules of friendship"

Certainly you can't train him, but you can help him to understand how he might be perceived or what to do to avoid falling in the same behaviours, that distance him from other children, again and again.