Would you be worried?

[carupgrade]

Apologies for crap name but wanted to name change to get some fresh views iyswim.

Dd is almost 4 and will start Receptionin September. I have these concerns about her:

Very "in your face" in terms of personal space with other children.
Likes to make her own rules for things and then stick to them.
Bossy/overpowering with other children.
Can get very, very upset over very little things/events though can now calm down.
Extremely active.
Slightly odd mannerisms/hand gestures.
Very adult use of language.
Occasionally uses phrases repeated verbatim from books, however this is in context and she seems aware that she is doing it, almost a joke?

However....

She is lovely, kind and helpful.
Wants to be friends with other children.
Has always had age appropriate SAL development and in general appears to be bright and interested in life.

I'm very aware that Aspergers is often missed in girls and I wonder if I have cause for concern with dd.

Nursery describe her as having a "big personality" though they do comment that some of the other children don't like sitting next to her at circle time as they find her ott physically.

Does she systematise things a lot? Likes to arrange things in order, whether her own or another? Is she very literal? Does she get confused/upset if other children don't want to be friends?
She does sound a bit like I used to be at school, and I do have Aspergers. It would be worth doing a bit of research, I think. Some things that may help are talking about the rules of social situations, and how other people usually follow them as well. There may be a shortage of empathy so working out rules to follow may be more useful - empathy will come later.

Yes, she does get comfused/upset if others don't wantto be her friend.

she sounds exactly like my ds!

we had concerns about asd with him, and have spoken to school, who think that actually he is ok for his age, but perhaps a little bit behind with his emotional development, however the SENCO is involved and they're keeping an eye on him

I spoke to a good friend of mine who works with autistic chidlren and she said that although on paper he presents as ASD it isn't that simple, and that in time he will probably grow out of these behaviours and be the same as his peers.
a lot of the things ARE normal 4/5 yr old behaviour

we have some social stories from amazon which talk about how to be friends with people and how to interact and how to manage anger!!!