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Smiling & Eye Contact

13 replies

coopergirl · 28/03/2010 11:07

Hello everyone,

This is my first posting on a website, I hear that Mumsnet is the creme de la creme for giving other Mums out there great advice and support, so hear goes...

I am a new Mum to a lovely little baby boy. He's 8 weeks and 3 days old and the thing that I'd really like to hear from you guys about is when I might expect a big gummy grin and some proper eye contact.

He's given us maybe 3 or 4 half hearted kind of smiles over the last week or so and I'm not even sure what we were doing to get these, but if i try to stimulate him, singing, talking or grinning maniacally at him, he just looks right through me with no interest whatsoever. He also avoids eye contact at all costs, preferring to look at anything at all, rather than our faces.

Occasionally, I'll get his attention and he'll stare at me, but that only lasts for a few minutes, and it certainly isn't accompanied with a smile. If I approach him in his crib to lift him out instead of looking lovingly up at me, he shifts his head an looks away, which is starting to really upset me.

Having done a little research online as to what milestones he should be reaching, I'm aware that babies 'should' be smiling and making eye contact by 6-8 weeks, so I'm getting anxious that my little one is not achieving this...it is also worrying that i keep reading about autism when researching this subject.

I just wondered if anyone out there may have experienced a similar thing with their little babies. It does seem that little boys seem to take a little while longer to get into the swing of things, but how much longer is acceptable, and when might is become a cause for concern?

Anyway feedback would be really gratefully received, thanks for you time in reading this, I hope you're all having a relaxing weekend.

x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CantSupinate · 28/03/2010 11:21

Do not get hung up on the milestones, your baby has neglected to read the guidelines and always will! .

It's extremely difficult to reliably diagnose autism so early, so push it far out of your mind.

He sounds well within the normal spectrum, for what it's worth. It's fine to pop in with him and talk to your hv (or whatever health professional you have) any concerns such as this, even if they seem a bit precious of you, and see what they think.

Tee2072 · 28/03/2010 11:30

Step away from Doctor Google!!

Sure fire way to turn into a neurotic mum is to google any development stages.

As Cantsupinate said, your baby hasn't read the internet or the books. He's just being a baby!

Give him time, he'll get there.

So far as I remember, my DS didn't start looking us in the eye or smiling until he was at least 3 months old. Now at 9 months he smiles like crazy, makes eye contact and babbles away!

Octaviapink · 28/03/2010 12:19

If he looks you in the eye for a couple of minutes at a time that's ample! Babies of this age get overstimulated quite quickly and looking away from you is one way they can 'shut the world out' a bit and calm their racing minds. Autism can't be diagnosed at this age. Also, some babies just don't smile as much.

debka · 28/03/2010 15:37

My DD HATED looking at faces, I was so worried that there was something wrong with her! My v sensible HV said that she was just interested in other things (she was v ahead in physical things like holding her head up during tummy time), and not in people. She is 12mo now and a happy, smiley, normal girl.

TottWriter · 28/03/2010 16:41

My DS was slow to smile and look at us too. I was worried he was 'behind' for a long time, but eventually realised what the other posters here are saying - he had no idea why I was desperate for him to do this stuff, and the more I encouraged him to look and smile etc., the more he 'fought' me.

It was very, very good for my sanity when I put the baby books to one side.

coopergirl · 28/03/2010 17:19

thank you all for your kind replies. I think I am a neurotic new mum and unfortunately I had a pregnancy that was fraught with uncertainty about my little ones heath so I think this has made me even more nervous that something is going to be wrong with him with regards to his development.

I guess I'm finding it difficult to relax in these early weeks as everything is such unchartered territory and the shocking sleep depravation doest really help to put things into perspective either.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 28/03/2010 17:33

Seriously, if you can? Throw the baby books away and don't do google searches on baby development.

He'll get there, just give him time.

Try to relax (easy to say, I know!) and enjoy him. He'll be crawling away before you know it!

smeraldina · 30/03/2010 17:07

We didn't get eye contact or a proper smile from our ds until he was about 4 1/2 months old...we were incredibly worried ... the same apparent avoidance of gaze...saw a paediatrician who said ....she wasn't worried. He's now 9 months, smiling abundantly, babbling, looking everybody in the eye, etc. The scale of normal is massive...I do sympathise though with you as I know the waiting is hard ... but I hope this reassures you that many babies don't do things by the book....I think some just take a little longer to get their vision adjusted to the world...

Karoleann · 30/03/2010 18:15

Ds1 didn't like looking at us and didn't smile til almost 13 weeks and was generally quite miserable and grumpy. Apart from being rather sensative, he's now a very smiley normal little boy

coopergirl · 13/04/2010 10:54

thank you all for your posts and for sharing your own experiences with me. My son is now 10 weeks old and I'm getting a lots of little smiles - as long as he's fed and happy! He is giving me much better eye contact now, although he needs to be nice and calm to do this otherwise it's really hard to engage him. When he wakes up, as long as he's not crying, he'll give me a little smile which is lovely as I'm starting to think that he knows who his Mum is now!

I guess the next milestone to hit is laughing!!

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 13/04/2010 11:00

Well don't hang out for that one - my DD is 8 months old and hasn't really laughed yet. She sort of gives what I can only describe as a happy snort, but that's my lot.

Do I wish she would? I do when I read the baby books... Do I think anything's wrong? No. She's obviously cheerful and sociable, grinning all the time and obviously enjoying peek-a-boo etc - she just won't bloody laugh. My friend says I'm just not funny enough.

tablefor3 · 13/04/2010 11:27

Coopergirl - please stop with the milestones! Seriously, you will drive yourself beserk. Enjoy each day and then be surprised when something new happens.

(ps - isn;t laughing months and months away? DD only laughed properly at about 4-5 months I think, and then she didn;t do it again for a while. Now at 17mo we have a daily giggle-fest...)

Longtalljosie · 13/04/2010 11:58

The books say from three months, which is why the OP's expecting it... after 6 months I started a thread on it myself - lots of reassuring mums told me it was totally fine...

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