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3.8yo so stroppy and won't do anything I ask

1 reply

13lucky · 27/03/2010 13:55

Hi there, I have a 3.8 year old dd who, until a couple of months ago was fairly well behaved and sensible. However, her bahaviour seems to have deteriorated drastically and she just will not do anything I ask and just has such an 'attitude' and is stroppy whenever I ask her to do anything. So, from the moment she gets up, she refuses to get her PJs off to have a wash so we battle about that, then refuses to get dresses, then won't some to the table to have breakfast, then won't get her shoes and coat on etc etc etc. I feel like I've done a whole day before it's even 9am and the same thing continues all day. I've tried giving options, eg 'do you want to wear this or that?' and I do try to pick my battles...but it seems like EVERYTHING is a battle. I also have a 17 month ds who she sometimes loves to bits and looks after...and sometimes pushes, shoves and is generally too rough. I definitely think she's going through another jealousy stage with him but really he takes none of my time compared to her (he is so easy in comparison!!). She also whinges, whines and shouts at me whenever I ask her to do anything. I've tried rewards but that doesn't seem to make any difference. I just want my happy dd back!! She has moments of brilliance and is so loving...but these seem to be rare at the moment. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong (apparently she is an angel at preschool and is the best behaved in her class when I take her to her swimming lesson...but with me, she's a nightmare! Any thoughts? (Sorry for the ramble)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jellyrolly · 27/03/2010 18:56

She sounds normal to me. I've noticed a lot of people's - my ds1 aged 4 included - DCs get attitude at this age. Awareness increases and life is hard to understand which is frustrating.

I think she is very lucky to have you, you sound like a lovely mum. The fact that she is well behaved at pre school says to me she feels secure enough with you to 'let it all out' at home. It's a thankless task but you're giving her security and confidence at a time when the world is probably a little bit scary.

By tea time when I've had a whole day of this and am really p'd off, sometimes DH has a little word and my DS1 comes and says "I'm sorry mummy I love you" which makes a lot of difference (even though I know he was told to say it!) I do benefit from them both always been handfuls though

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