Discipline for 18 month old - help!

[DoodleAlley]

DS is not naughty per se but he's starting to climb on things that are dangerous to be on - the window cill for example.

Also he's just started hitting me now and then. I can tell he's testing waters and I say no and tell him it's naughty and he's made me unhappy. He then gives me a sorry hug.

The main issue is that in terms of doing things that are dangerous he then goes back and does it. I don't want to smack him as I think it will encourage him to hit others.

Time out/naughty step feels a little advanced for him. He's chilled about access to toys and it's only the window cil/table he wants to be on, and so taking toys off him has no effect.

I am ready for there to be no one answer but I'd love to hear any positive suggestions from people's experiences. I want to be able to stop him/discourage him from doing dangerous things and I want to discourage him from hitting others.

He is generally a chilled child, well behaved, articulate and intelligent. It's these bursts of energy that he can't seem to handle. Generally try to distract him with trips out but we're ill at the moment so it's brought this to a head.

Any advice appreciated. I need to go get a nap before he wakes as I'm not getting much rest with a tinkerish toddler around today!

Meant to say need to get a nap so will check back in an hour. Apologies!

Hiya,
My son is 21 months and we've been putting him in the "naughty cot" for doing bad/dangerous things which he's been warned about, since he was 18 months. (It's a spare travel cot, not his normal cot, as we thought that might give him negative associations). I think this works better than naughty step at this age because they can't really be expected to stay on it at that age.

We do it for 1.5 mins. He doesn't get really upset. It does seem to work up to a point as now most times we just say "If you do that again you'll go in the naughty cot, is that what you want?" and he'll say "no, sorry mummy" and stop doing it. So we only have to actually put him in it maybe once a week.

It has had an effect with some things - I think he has more awareness about safety and will sometimes start to do something and then say, "no, it's dangerous". And he doesn't hit anymore (but think that is probably just growing out of it).

Totally agree with you about not hitting. They definitely copy it.

Hi, my DS is 18 months now. I think that this is a hard age as it's very in-between, although I try to avoid punishments as a general rule anyway. At the moment I tend to remove from the situation, for example DS likes to play with the knobs on the cooker, which is obviously dangerous, I will say "No, don't touch" and move his hand. He thinks this is funny so I just carry on and stay serious and sometimes after a while, he gets bored and moves away, if not and I can feel myself getting frustrated then I either put him in his playpen with some toys or we both move into a different room so I can distract him with something else.

I can't think of any particularly dangerous climbing he does - things that he can climb onto, I tend to let him, it's not that high up and I am usually in the same room anyway so I can watch him. I would rather teach him to be safe when climbing than not let him climb at all (so I don't let him stand up at the edge of the sofa for instance, and have taught him to come down from things backwards, feet first) He will climb the stairs given a chance as I don't have a stairgate downstairs but I have a very small house and can hear him very clearly doing this even if I can't see him, so I say "WAIT!" and come up and follow him up or just pick him up and move him. He has slipped once and he was only about three stairs up so it was fine. It took a week or two for the novelty of the stairs to wear off but now if I move him once or twice he doesn't try to climb up again.

Hitting - yes he is doing this, usually with something he has picked up (a toy or whatever) - I try to catch his arm before he makes contact and say "That is too rough. Be gentle." and show him a gentle movement like stroking. If he is clobbering me with a toy (!) I do this once and if he tries again then I take the toy off him. Now when I say "Too rough" he throws the toy on the floor instead, which is not brilliant, but is an improvement on hitting, so I praise him for being in control of himself as the effort is very evident on his face, bless him. Sometimes he will throw himself on the floor after doing this, or the minute he is told "No" etc and I just tend to ignore this and try to make sure he doesn't bump his head. If he does hit me or pinch me etc then I say "Ouch" because he knows this word and sometimes he knows he has hurt me because he gets upset! So I just ask for a kiss and a cuddle better and then we just carry on with whatever we were doing. I think that this (showing them how to make it better) is better than random punishments like removing toys etc because it helps them think about their actions and know why something is wrong rather than just that it is.

are you allowed to smack this young ? thought you weren't allowed to. anyway, certainly no need at this satge. if you went straight to thta, you would have nowhere left to go.
thia is the most basic level of discipline. so start with a firm "No". lift him up, put him down on carpet. say "no". don't waffle. fewer words the better. repeat, repeat , repeat. till you can't bear it anymore.
then move on to a mild, say "if you do that again, i will have to....????? take car/teddy away, or step. prob best not to call it a naughty step at this stage, just a step.
don't smack. certainly not for minor things like this please.

Hi sorry for the delay in responding. Thanks for the suggestions. I do persist in saying no lots but he just goes back to climbing when I am out of the room and I don't want to have to lug him around with me anywhere for fear of him doing something dangerous.

I think I'll persist in terms of saying no with the hitting as he's showing he knows it's wrong by giving me the sorry hug - I like the idea of changing it to a stroke if it's teddies/toys. And I am happy he's safe at climbing the sofa as he does know how to get down safely.

If the climbing on this window cil thing persists then I might try using an old travel cot that we don't use anymore, (as we've got one of those pop up ones now) so I might set it up in another room if he's being particularly tinkerish and try a minute's time out, it might do the trick and be distracting enough.

Thanks so much for the suggestion. I think the minute in a cot could be the key. Genius!

My 20 month old DD is a climber too, I spend half my day lifting her down from window sill or dining room table. I figure she just needs to climb and explore so let her do so where its not so high that its a danger, eg the sofa and chairs are ok.

I think this is far too young for any "punishments" so just persist with removing her from places that are too high with a "no, not on the table/window,on the floor please" I have also moved furniture to prevent her reaching anywhere too high, the house looks a bit random but it makes my life a lot easier.