Should an 18mnth old know about sharing?

[beanpot]

Just had an episode at the park with my DD. She's 18mnths, head strong but a baby. She wanted to push a pram which belonged to another older child and the mother of the other child was uncomfortable with her playing with it. I pointed out as I felt her discomfort that she was 18mnths old and had one at home just the same and she couldn't understand why she wasn't able to use it. Said mother then gave me a lecture on how good her 24mnth old was at sharing, and that she had learnt to share with her younger sibling already.

I left.

Honestly! Should an 18mnth old know the difference between her pink pram at home and the one at the park??!! I gently tried to show her it was someone elses, but understandably she kicked off as she couldn't play with it. I certainly know I need to teach her to share, but is it innate? No. I think not....

Or am I wrong..

actually on reading my thread, the one who couldn't share here is the other mother!

absolutely! if i was at a park and my child wasn't using a toy they had brought with them i would be fine with another baby having a go, as long as the mum was watching them and being careful with it

so her 24 month old shares? so what??? they ALL go through a very possessive stage so she'll be eating her words in a while i am sure.

but no, your daughter is far too little to understand that she can't use a toy she sees in the park, esp if she has an identical one.

Firstly, have to say I know nothing other than the info I have read in books BUT from what I understand, children don't really interact or understand sharing or even understand that they are not the centre of the world etc until later than 18 months, so no I don't think she should understand sharing yet. My godson was 2 at the start of January and he is just starting to 'get it' - his latest 'thing' is making us all sit on the stairs to 'wait our turn' to have a go on his plastic trike. He also likes to share his raisins and other foods. But he didn't do this until recently - i.e. the last few weeks.

((no idea if this is right or what but think your conclusion that the other mum has the issue and not you is absolutely spot-on!))

Good to know, poor lamb was beside herself with rage that she couln't play with it. She has her first taster session at nursery this afternoon and I think some more social interaction will be good for her.

She hits you if she doesn't get her own way....again a little worrying??!

normal normal normal.

other mother's 24 month old is probably not bright enough to work out that if you scream for something, you might get it.

Also, (and I hate to throw this at people but it's true) Ds1 is EXCELLENT at sharing because he has social special needs that mean he doesn't know how to negotiate, so he just gives in.

interesting, as my son has some social issues, and yet he is amazing at sharing as I have had to teach him again and again and again, he's now 7yrs and brilliant. He'll offer you a choc button before digging in himself. I get the impression my DD will have both DS and DH wrapped around her little finger before long..

I think my godson learned about the concept of sharing at the childminders, so you might be right re: nursery. Apparently the sitting on the step until it's your turn is what they do there. It's very irritating to have to sit and wait my turn to ride his trike (which I can barely get on anyway with my 7 month preg bump) but don't want to discourage him from the process of learning to share!

From what I understand, they all go through a hitting/biting stage too. One of our neighbours has a little boy who often comes over to play with my godson (they are sooooooooo sweet together - and always ask for the other one when they're at our house) is hitting a lot at the moment - mostly his mum. No suggestions for what to do, sorry, but I don't think you're alone.

Re hitting = normal

I thought my DS was "good" at sharing because he hadn't yet developed to the point of possessiveness! Maybe he will continue to be good at sharing, and maybe not.

However, I've no grounds for complacency, as even if he can share, he is rather a shover. Cringe.

Not sharing = normal (for a good while yet)
Hitting = normal (ditto)

Poor you for meeting such an obnoxious mum

I know, I really didn't need it this morning, I had taken DS to the dentist and he had freaked out so much the dentist has referred him to a clinic where they deal with phobia's....He's been before, every year, but this year he flipped out. Been twice and still he won't let them near. He's seen monsters inc and thinks the sucker they use to clear the mouth is the same as the scream catcher and it's going to pull out all his teeth...

so not a great start to my day, then I met her!