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My 2.5 yo ds is driving me mad (and dh is away on business)

3 replies

stayinalive · 25/03/2010 00:09

Ds won't eat anything apart from buttered bread, the odd piece of cheese, bananas and milk. It hasn't worried me too much before because I know he eats well at nursery. Now he's started to eat less at lunch there as well, while still eating his snacks (toast in a.m., fruit p.m.). He's also started to use wanting a weewee as a delaying tactic. For everything. Tonight he sat on the potty for 15 minutes without doing anything. He does this several times every day. He says he needs the potty and then he doesn't do anything. The minute he gets up, he wants to wee again, and still nothing happens. It can go on for ages! Then he says he want to eat something, e.g. sweetcorn with pasta and meatballs, then he refuses to even taste it when I've prepared it The only thing he'll eat willingly is buttered bread/toast (and biscuits but I refuse to give in to that one). He challenges me on everything I ask him to do, but with his dad he's compliant. Teh staff at nursery have started to notice that he'll be happy to see me when I arrive but that he starts playing up when I try to get us home. Today it took three people including me 10 min to cajole him to put his coat on when I came to collect him (I hate to use the if-you-don't come-now-I'll leave-without-you-line as I don't think it is fair on him). He refuses to get out of the bath. He refuses to go to sleep (procrastinating with the potty again). He doesn't want to get dressed. He won't sit at the table to eat (when he eats). He'll do it at nursery but refuses at home. He doesn't want to go to nursery in the mornings even though he likes it there. He doesn't want to come home. He doesn't want to get into the car. He wants to talk to daddy on the phone but he doesn't want to talk to daddy on the phone. He want a bath, but doesn't want a bath. He's driving me around the bend! My husband is away and no one else seems to have this problem with him. I lost my rag with him tonight and shouted at him. He shouted back, which was fair enough I think. I've just had enough. He and I rarely seem to have much fun at the moment. Is this how it is set to continue until he's 30?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Othersideofthechannel · 25/03/2010 05:44

Does his Dad often go away? If not, maybe he's a bit upset by his absence. Or picking up on your negative feelings about your DH being away.

Kids this age are hard work and I don't think anyone can remain patient all the time. And they are always more compliant with other adults.

As to getting them to do things, I think it is a question of pick your battles and being very imaginitive.
Eg With the coat, if he doesn't want to put it on, carry it. He can ask for it if he is cold and you remind him a couple of times that you have it if he looks cold. (And well done for not threatening to leave without him, I hate to hear people say that to toddlers, they take what we say so literally at that age)

Also are you giving him plenty of warning that a change of activity is coming up? And making the things that have to be done fun? Maybe he's enjoying what he is doing too much to stop. One of my DCs was like this and didn't want to get in the bath and then didn't want to get out. To help with the transition, can he take whatever he is playing with in the bath? Maybe it needs a wash?

Or could you have songs or rituals for those tricky times of day. We used to do nursery rhymes on my lap wrapped in a towel so instead of 'time to get out of the bath' it was 'time for 'ride a cock horse'.

No suggestions on the potty thing seeing as I couldn't get DS to sit on his!

SilveryMoon · 25/03/2010 06:50

OMG, I feel your pain. I could have written that post!
My ds1 is 2.7 and drives me crazy with everything you have mentioned apart from the nursery stuff because he doesn't go yet.
My ds1 has just this minute got up, so let me say hello to him and get him a drink and I'll be back with some of the things i try.
I just wanted to let you know there's someone else going through it all too

SilveryMoon · 25/03/2010 07:02

My ds does all of it. he's doing it now. He tells me he wants some milk,l I get him some miulk, he screams and waves his arms around yelling "no, no milk, no" So I just say, "ok, don't drink it then" and ignore him.
He tells me he needs a wee so I say let's go to the toilet then, "no, no toilet no" drives me crazy.
I don't know why I said I'd give you some things to try because I don't have a clue. The only thing you can do I think is ignore him and don't react.
My ds1 is also fine with my dp, does everything he's asked, doesn't mess around or whinge or anything until I am in the room, which tells me he wants to push my buttons.
I am really struggling and have started 2 threads here the past few days (Can everyone post their tips on toddlers hitting and tantrums. Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green - anyone read it?) and have received some very sensible advice, have a look and see if anything there will help.

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