3.5 year old daughter "holding on" to poos!

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Hopeing for some good advice on this as so far my tactic of simply asking her not to do it and explaining that she will have a sore tummy and bottom if she keeps doing this are definitely not working.

She toilet trained relatively easily at 2.5 years old and has always been a regular and easy producer of poo! Recently she has started very obviously hanging on to them, hopping around the room when she obviously wants to go and refusing any suggestions that she go and sit on the loo. It's been happening at pre-school and out at friends and later I've been discovering more than just skid marks in her knickers - sorry this is all a bit graphic isn't it!

I don't want to make too big a deal of it - though I might have done so already, don't know - she probably knows that it annoys me that she does it. The other day she told me that she wants a sore tummy but then that is very much her character to find things to fight about!

Help, this is a battle I don't want to have and can't win!

Did she have a bout of constipation or even one hard poo that hurt on it's way out?

DD1 suffered from constipation and was on medication for it. Once the medication started working she still tended to hold on to it as she was afraid it would hurt her again.

I just had to constantly reassure her that it would be ok and even if it hurt for a minute it would be better than having tummy ache.

She has been off the medication for months now but still has the occasional day where she holds on.

If you see her hopping around try putting her on the toilet 'just to pee'. I find that unless she is constipated it is hard to hold back once they are on the toilet.

Hope some of this helps.

Could anything of frightened her off going to the loo??, ie, bit of constipation making her bum sore, & the memory is still with her, or someting in the toilet...home or pre school......even something as daft as seeing some TV advert for germs looking like monsters popping out of the loo?? ..........

I say this, because as mad as it sounds, I have a very clear memory of doing this myself when I was about 3, & with me it was fear of the toilet, due to a nasty hairy spider lurking behind the toilet, something my Mum had played down, so I was cross with her, so wouldn't own up to being scared....isn't it funny the things you can remember...lol..........might be worth trying to find out why by playing a doll game with her, or you be her, & she be you....I always found this a great tool for getting to the bottom of what was really going on with DD

If its an attention thing....& lets face it the are all little sods for that one ........them try some sort of star chart, if theres siblings, do it for all of them........each time they go poo without any fuss, or accidents....they get a star...& a treat, such as choose a small sweet from a sweet jar after a week or so........if no siblings, do a chart for you too..........that way you can stop giving her attention by discussing it with her, but make a big deal out of how many stars you, or her siblings have, & how excited you are at getting your treat

good luck

hello sounds exactly like the problem I had with my dd and it got so bad that she was only going for a poo once a week and being extremely miserable with stomach ache the rest of the time. So I had a chat with her GP and tried movocol and it mas almost miraculous the difference within a few days!!! She is now 4 and its no longer an issue, I stopped giving her the movocol once she seemed relaxed and in a good routine and touch wood haven't had any further problems.

Your daughter is perfectly normal. She is at an age where going to the toilet probably means she'll miss what else is going on!!!!

My DS did the same and was toilet trained from 2 (he woke up on his 2nd birthday and simply refused to wear nappies on account of being a big boy!!!)

What did I do??? When he was hopping around in front of tv holding on I'd say you need to go to the toilet the tv will still be here when your back. 2nd time I will turn it off if you don't go and then would turn it off and go do something housework orientated and he would toddle off to poo as nothing better to do!!!

NOT saying it worked straightaway took about 6 months but got there in the end!!!