Nine Year Old Girls - Come tell me about yours please

[Earlybird]

Would like to hear about characteristics of your 9 year old dd:

Social
Emotional
Physical
Cognitive
Etc.

Would be glad to know what others are going through with their dds, so we can share, and if necessary empathise/sympathise and offer advice.

Hmm, interesting. I have a dd of 9.2.
Social: mixes with a big group of bright girls with strong personalities. The biggest stress that we have is the falling in and out of friendships. (I'm gritting my teeth and trying not to get too embroiled.) But she/they are getting better at resolving disputes, though that's very recent.
Emotional: she's quite steady emotionally, but has sudden moody outbursts and refusal to co-operate. They come from nowhere because she's usually sweet and compliant, but sometimes she digs her heels in. We've had a slightly difficult time because a good family friend died recently, and she's been very upset. We've had lots of conversations about our friend, death, cancer, grief...she's sensitive and thoughtful and its given us the opportunity to talk about emotions quite a lot.
Physical: she was always a bit awkward but took up swimming and gymnastics which have helped. She's got better co-ordination and balance now and her body is getting quite strong. She's changing shape a bit lately too, a suggestions of waist/hips where she used to be straight-up-and-down.
Cognitive: She absolutely loves school and learning; in particular, she always struggled a bit with maths but had really worked at it and saw definite results which have encouraged her (she wanted to be in the top group with her friends, she worked hard, and she got there).

After that essay , you can tell me about yours!

Thanks for the essay. Think I'll respond in stages....

Social - has a nice group of friends, but no 'best' friend. She can be a bit possessive, and is 'wounded' if a fickle friend has promised to play at breaktime/sit together at lunch, and then doesn't. She is learning to widen her circle of pals, so not 'stuck' if someone is unavailable. Suddenly aware of who the 'popular' girls are.

Most of her friends play football, which dd doesn't (not interested). Makes it very tough to crack that insular group, as they spend a great deal of time together at breaks/outside of school with practise and weekend games. (Can also be tricky for me to crack the insular group of football Mums!)

DD can be slightly over-sensitive, but classmates can be thoughtless - cue lots of chats from me about figuring out what it means to be a friend, and how a person wants to be treated by their friends.

DD an only child, so doesn't bounce back quickly from spats - doesn't get the practise at home with siblings - so can brood a bit, especially if she perceives something to be unfair.

Can be quite dramatic and often exaggerates ('I hate it', 'it's boring', 'I can't'), is a bit moody at times (early hormones?), critical of self and others (including adults). Is funny, kind, creative, imaginative, and can be thoughtful (on occasion). Loves to laugh, and is a good mimic. Talks alot!

There's my own essay!

Earlybird, that's my daughter you've described. She is nine in may and hypersensitive about slights in her friendship group. She is, I think developing a little roll of fat (miniscule to all but the trained obvserver) around her waist which I think could be the start of puberty. She is an only child and consequently has nobody to fight at home with apart from me and dh. I seem to bear the brunt of it. She is amusing and can be hysterically funny but does take herself a bit too seriously sometimes.

Lots of that sounds very familiar, Earlybird and kreecher. The friends thing you describe, Earlybird, is very similar to my DD, but it has improved a bit. The friendship drynamic is cyclical and she seems to have started to recognise this and copes with the downturn better. She does have a best friend but she doesn't live as near as some of her other friends: the closest one is the super-popular girl in the class and they fall our regularly, usually when super-popular girl has someone else on hand.

Glad to know this is sounding 'typical' and familiar.

I was with a friend last week whose same-age dd attends a Steiner/Waldorf school. She said the school cites age 9 as a tricky (and transitional) age developmentally/socially, and pays special attention to moods/outbursts, etc.

You lucky duck. My dd doesn't have a best friend, rather a large group that she is part of. She really wants to be BF with a very popular little girl. When we left Bangkok, she had a really strong bond with her friend, in Switzerland she hasn't made such a good friendship which is just as well considering we are moving to Belgium in the summer.
I d think that 9 is a tricky age. I am certainly finding it so anyway.

Glad to find other mums in a similar position. Sorry for the legnth of this
My dd is 9.10, socially she has just started realising that she can be friends with more than one person.
I am glad because her 'best' friend has not been kind to her over the years and I was getting worried about them going to secondary school.
She has also had some recent involvement with boys, she had a valentines card and present from a boy at school and has fallen out with a friend over a boy they both liked.
She talks about crushes quite a lot, which I try not to make too much of but secretly am .

Emotionally she has always been very sensitive, this doesn't show signs of changing. she is going on a residential trip with school and is getting quite upset about it, though this is not the first one.
She can be quite difficult and has had a few problems with the truth at home, however her Teacher cannot speak highly enough of her and was amazed when I had said we were having a few probs at home.

Physically she has had some pubic hair and slight movement in her chest, she said some girls in her class wear bra's which I was surprised at.
She loves netball, swimming and dancing and is very tall and skinny which seems to suit these activities.

She is doing well at school better at english than maths, she loves science and art too.
She seems to be popular at school, was voted into the school council by her classmates.
She has a good sense of humour and loves singing.
She wants to be famous and go on the X-factor, and is quite obsessed with Cheryl Cole which I don't like,but at 9 I was obsessed with Bros which I'm sure my Mum was about.

Earlybird - it sounds like this is a 'tricky' stage. I was talking with a friend about this the other day (she has 9 year old twin girls) and we were commenting how they are all changing atm.

I meant to comment about the sibling thing as a couple of you have commented that your DD is an only child. My DD has two brothers, one older and one younger so she she's used to rough and tumble, physically, mentally, verbally etc. But it's very similar to the relationships she has with her friendship group. We live in a village with a small primary and there about 25 children in her class. Her group of friends is more like a big family: they've mostly known each other since they were toddlers and their interaction is a lot like siblings.

OK, next installment: the physical:

DD is quite tall and slender. Very active, but not particularly athletic or coordinated. Wants to be outside as much as possible, but doesn't enjoy organised team sports. Has good stamina (on long walks/hikes), but doesn't like her endurance to be tested (strength, or running). Still skips when excited.

No physical signs of puberty, though she is aware of friends who are beginning to wear starter bras, and have armpit hair. She is aware of her body smelling a bit different after a sweaty play session.

She talks about various aches and pains in great detail. Most every day brings a new scrape/bruise/sore place that can be discussed. In reality, she is very healthy and quite strong.

Doesn't want to go to bed at night, but complains of needing more sleep when I wake her in the mornings.

Still wants to hold my hand when we're out, but doesn't want me to hug/kiss her where friends can observe us.

Requested a layered cut last time I took her to the hairdesser, instead of the simple trim I expected her to want.

Doesn't want to wear anything pink. Likes clothes, but not interested in shopping for them.

Early, my dd sounds similar to yours with regard to clothing. She refuses to wear any leg coverings other than leggings , not too good when we live in Switzerland and the snow is only just melting. Loathes going to bed and reluctant to get up in the morning although she agrees that if she slept when she should she wouldn't be as tired. Has numerous bruises and cuts because she is in such a rush she falls over quite a lot.

Oh don't get be started on the clothes, Jeggings are the legwear of choice here but we have issues over the tightness.

DD wants them to be like a second skin but because we have to buy age 12 for the legnth they end up being baggy round her knees.

Kreecher my dd is the same with the bruises from falling because she is rushing, she is like Bambi on ice at times(sp?).

DD is 9y1m and an only child. She moved from a very small school with only 9 girls in her year group to a much bigger one (over 30 girls in year) just under a year ago.

Social: She has always had lots of friends but occasionally admits she would like to have a "best friend" to see what it's like! This year she has become very aware of the "popular" crowd and interestingly seems to be accepted by them without necessarily being entirely one of them. Some of this appears to be a conscious choice on DD's part as she has noticed some of the in-crowd can be unkind and particularly that there is a big clash between one of DD's more long-standing friends and these girls. DD is very kind and I am proud that she has refused to "dump" friend but still manages to get on with these other girls. We have had lots of chats about friendships, how we treat others and how they treat us. DD goes on a school bus with secondary age pupils. She found the "teasing" by the 11-13 year old boys very difficult to cope with but again I'm delighted to see that she can now hold her own and ruthlessly exploits her good relationships with the fifth and sixth formers! So from something quite grim she has learnt a lot, but would still like to spare her the journey although by the time i can she will probably want to go on the school bus!

Emotional: She is generally a very happy girl. There's been a slight "I'm rubbish at everything, X is brilliant at everything" going on though. We've varied between being sympathetic and pointing out her skills to being dismissive. We're not too worried. DD is still very cuddly and will happily hug and kiss us in front of her friends. She really seems to value time with us and often wants to just hang out or bake which is lovely.

Physical: She is slightly above-average height and pretty lean and muscular. No denying that the poor kid has the family thighs though! No signs of puberty at all. She does a lot of sport through school and though not a natural sportswoman does enjoy it and likes being part of a team (netball/hockey). She loathes tennis but loves athletics. She has started to ride in the last year and is doing well.

Cognitive: She's always been bright and does a lot of music. She reads voraciously and is quite well-informed. She has a mind like a steel-trap and thanks to paternal encouragement will "debate" just about anything-particularly around what's a suitable bedtime, if it's reasonable to go and buy sweets, why it's ok to spend more time on Club penguin I have on occasion, retorted to "well, I'm the adult and i say so, that's why"

She loves clothes and "fashion" and spends a lot of time designing. Her taste is both surprisingly young (happily wears a lot of Boden and Joules still) and desperate to be more "grown up" (highlighter pen colours, black). I've noticed that she is "playing" less and when friends are round they are more likely to be gossiping or designing magazines but the winter weather may have been a factor.

Mammoth post, really interesting to read about all your DDs.