12 weeks old to be forced into routine

[Aydin030110]

Hi, can anyone help? I'd like to get my 12 week boy into routine.. He was ok and started sleeping after last feed at 10pm until 6am.. And we thought halleluja! We are getting some sleep.. But last few days he is hard to settle to sleep, doesnt want to sleep evenings. He was really good and able to settle on his own with no dummy, rocking,etc. Now when I put him down for a nap he screams and I dont want to get him used to rocking and holding in my arms to get him to sleep. I started reading Gina Ford book,its very rigid, but I would take bits from it. So where do I start? I just want him to sleep nights.. He was so much happier. Thanks for any ideas/experiences you could share.

he is probably teething, you might want to think about calpol or teething gel to see if this makes a difference.

oh bless you

please don't try to force a routine onto your baby yet, 12 weeks is very young and he will probably still need night feeds for some time yet

Cuddle him as much as you can, he needs to be near to you and your DH for comfort and security

and chuck the book on the fire

Sorry you are having a tough time but what you describe sounds par for the course at this age. I don't really understand your term "forced into routine", you can't really force a 12 week old to do anything you just have to do trial and error and be patient. I know it is hard, and I agree with lifting from GF if you feel it would work for your baby but please don't try to "force" anything or you will just end up miserable.
Also some babies just don't go for the routine thing at this age, they go through growth spurts, teething ups and downs and it is all really normal. 10pm till 6am is an absolute ideal, don't think it is the norm at all.

My advice would be to go with the flow with feeds, co-sleep if it helps, keep things dark and quiet at night and bright and active during the day as far as possible.

My dd1 was an "easy" baby - enjoyed a good long sleep at night and in consequence so did we!

Enter dd2, a very different baby. (but actually more "typical" from what I read/now know)

Anyway, with dd2, I found it worked rather than trying to "force" a routine to try and look at the positives. For example, if she woke every 3 hours, this was difficult. However, if at that particular wake up dh was able to offer ebm and a dummy, then I could in effect have 6 hours sleep which for a newborn (or any baby under about a year imo) is not bad.

Try and find strategies that work for you. Another example was the evening time, I hated "losing" my evening. So, after I had given dd2 a massive long feed, dh would take over for a bit and we would work as a team as far as possible (exc bf for nearly 6 months but thankfully she would take ebm in a bottle which saved me)

Thanks so much for your messages. Reasurance helps.. Also, is green poo normal for bottle fed?

Don't chuck the book on the fire - I think you have hit the nail on the head - Gina can come across as rigid but actually her sleeping and feeding schedules are excellent. The only thing I found was that my DS got tired sooner than every 2 hours so I would put him down after he started yawning and not let him stay awake longer than 1hr30mins - 1hr45mins.

My DS started at 6 weeks and was indeed a very happy and content baby - he never cried because he was never hungry or overtired. It also meant that my DH and family were really confident to look after him becasue they were able to work to a 'schedule'.

All I would say is that getting a baby into a routine does not happen over night, nor in a few days. It takes a good few weeks of perserverence and accepting that some days will go to pot! On those days, pour a large glass of wine and start each day afresh!

I would make a diary of feeds and sleeps for a few days - you'll probably find that he's actually creating a pattern or routine of his own - then work with that, give or take half an hour each way. All baby patterns are subject to change at short notice though! and to try to restrict them to one is fruitless. Go with the flow. And definitely chuck the book away - you are far and away the best judge of what to do for him and infinitely more qualified than anyone who has never had a baby!

" Gina can come across as rigid but actually her sleeping and feeding schedules are excellent."

For some babies.

Not for mine!

My DS is also 3 months old and has always woken every three to four hours at night although he is capable of a 5-6 hour stretch, we've not been able to nudge it into a time frame where we are actually in bed too!

We were unable to follow GF to the letter as he would just be drifting off when it was time to get up!

However I took on board the principles of a repetitive 3-4 hourly routine of wake, eat, socialise for a bit, then nap. This has worked for us so he is always well napped and fed and is indeed the most content of all his little friends.

Until recently that is! Now, he seems to be on a napping strike and then grumbles all day. I think this must be because he is older and wants to be awake longer so we need to find a new rhythm.

Hope you find what works for you and your baby. I didn't "force" my ds into anything but just learned the signs of early fatigue (like ear pulling) and popped him into bed.

Also, I think green poo is normal for formula fed babies --- at least I hope so!!!!