Help me get my 2yr old in her own bed

[hollysmummy1]

Hi, I am a single Mum and when my daughter was born because of various things going on with my ex partner I made the mistake of letting my baby sleep in bed with me. I have now put her in her own room and bed and I am having real problems. She goes in her bed fine I read her a story and she goes to sleep at about 8pm. She wakes up at around 11pm and settles quite fast and then she wakes up at 2am and will not go back to sleep. She cries and cries until i back down and put her in my bed and then she falls back to sleep striaght away. How can I sort this out? Is it a case of leaving her in her room and ignoring her cries because she is really determined and sometimes makes herself sick! She doesnt even get out of her bed really she just cries and sits up. Please advise me anyone x

would she go for you getting in her bed until shes asleep?
does she have a night light?

Well its a cot bed so i dont get in it i just sort of lean over until shes asleep. This works until she wakes up at 2am and then she just seems to know thats when she comes in mummys bed! I have got a night light she can use which i am going to try!

My DS who is nearly 2 has always gone to sleep in his own room brilliantly but wakes up to 4 times a night and normally around the 2am mark is adamant he is coming into our bed. Recently I have been trying to get him back to sleep in his own bed with the use of his favourite soft toys. (Normally putting on silly voice telling him its time to snuggle in his big boy bed with said toy) it seems to be somewhat working. Also I always get him off to sleep in the first place by reciting "The Owl and the Pussycat" so any subsequent wakings I go back to the poem and the repetition soothes him. Im desperate to reclaim mine and DHs bed as Im 34 weeks pregnant and not much room! Good Luck!

Thanks, I will try this. I know I may have to leave her to cry which I dont really want to do as she makes herself sick but she doesnt seem like she will do it willingly.

An update on the situation, I tried the super nanny thing last night and put her back in bed 3 times. I left her crying for about half an hour but she was getting hysterical so she ended up winning and coming in my bed! Does anyone know how long to leave them crying for?? I think she could of gone all night!

opinions will vary! i personally couldnt leave ds crying (properly crying rather than wingeing or tantrumming) more than a few mins

i have done though, and it was horrible - not something id recommend ordo again in a hurry

I've been having same problem with my DS 2.5, just replied about it to another OP. I've put a removable stairgate on his door and it has worked well, returning to reassure him every so often. I kept to the usual bedtime routine he had before, milk, teeth, story, songs, then I say goodnight, put on the 'magic gate' and reassure him that mummy is not far away and that when he is ready he can climb into his big boy bed. He plays, looking at his books etc and eventually gets in and goes to sleep. I then remove the gate and close the door on my way to bed. I think they feel a bit unsure about moving out of the cot and then are not sure what to do about it! I did a bit of controlled crying when DS was much younger, but I don't think I could do it with a toddler, and I think they're a little bit too young maybe for the supernanny technique as I was just confusing my DS when I tried that. If you do though, maybe it would help to explain what you are doing otherwise they might be confused by the sudden change in the behaviour and it might cause negative feelings about the bed - and bedtime - itself? Good luck!

Is there a real problem with her coming into your bed or is it just that you feel that she 'ought' to be in her own?

My DD aged three and a half has only just started sleeping in her own room and was in our bed for a long time, from about 16 months to three years. I then progressed to putting her cot bed in our room and soon after that she was ready to sleep alone. She still comes in to our bed at 5am when she first wakes but I don't mind it after a full night's sleep with no little elbows poking me in the ribs.

Is there space for the cotbet (or a travelcot) in your room? That way you could do it in stages - first she sleeps in her own bed in your room, then, when she can handle that, you put the bed back in her room.

Our DS has always had his own bed, but we were like you and coldn't resist him coming in with us when he cried. We've just (mostly) cracked him sleeping most of the night alone (he comes in for a cuddle when he wakes after 6am), but had lots of sitting with him in the middle of the night, holding his hand through the bars of his cot. What did it was us teaching him to get to sleep by himself, rather than hovering over him. That we did in stages -

First I sat by the cot, holding his hand all the time and reassuring him. Then I sat there but didn't hold his hand and ignored him, though I hummed constantly to soothe him. We would walk out of the room for a minute or two if he cried, then return and ask him if he was ready to go to sleep.

Once that seemed to be going well, we switched to reading him a story, then tucking him in and leaving him to go to sleep by himself. For the first few nights I sat in the doorway reading, so he could see I was there, but I paid him no notice unless he got up and made a fuss. After that, we just let him fall asleep on his own, but when he made a fuss would go and tuck him back in, leaving it for a few minutes longer each time he stirred.

As he got better at falling asleep by himself, I noticed that when I went up to settle him in the night it was more a case of telling him to lie down and tucking him in, then going back to bed myself. I still have to go up in the night, but usually only the once, and for far less than the half an hour or forty minutes I used to spend there, and I no longer end up sleeping in his room or bringing him in with us. we have relapses still, where my DP will bring him in too early and we'll get kicked in the bed, or (like last night) where he wakes up a good four or five times), but other nights he sleeps from eight to about five thirty without waking.

Sorry for the long post, but I hope there's something in there which helps you!

Thanks for all the posts they are really helpful and there are lots of ideas I am going to use. Think i am going to keep her in her own room but as suggested gradually move out of the room as she is getting to sleep so she can sleep on her own. Been really tiring the last few nights and i havent yet managed to do it but i will keep trying!!

Good luck!