Tidying up - how do you get your kids to do it?!

[estobi1]

I have the most stubborn 5 year old in the world! She loves making a mess but will not tidy up after herself - I have tried making it fun, positive encouragement, praising her 2 year old sister to see if that works but no. I have tried the threat of a bin bag and carried it out, I have explained to her how upsetting i find it that she will not help me and that if she did it we could play more but that doesn't work. She will accept any amount of punishment, criticism to no avail. I have a demanding job and I am trying to run a home - I don't want to be on at her all of the time but how do I get her to do it? She has always been very stubborn in this regard and it is really getting me down telling her off. Any suggestions would be greatly apprecaited .

Oh dear, I know this one well. my DD was outrageously stubbon at home with this....so bloody gauling at parents evenings to be told how good she is at helping & tidying

shes still no saint, but HUGE improvement, but it taken me thinking on my feet & keep changing the way I cope with it.......though generally I've found she responds better to "earning" rather than losing things...as I've found punishment threats just bring out her stubborn streak

I painted pennies with nail polish...flower designs...called them flower coins, each time she tidied up or did a chore, I gave her 1.....& she collected them towards her choosing a treat.......this one lasted for about 6 months....until she turned it around on me, & then refused to "spend" her coins, as it meant she had to do her bit to earn more ...........so I kept changing what she earned........painted lolly sticks, acorns, those xmas parcel decorations stuck on a white board, paper chain links, as they do in her School........you could even try star charts...though DD would have none of that as "thats for babies"

now its pocket money.......she EARNS it & we are very strict about it, & I always make sure she has an Argos catalogue or something, so she can see what she wants & how much she needs to save ......also if her rooms not tidy....her friends don't get invited to play..that 1 works wonders

Could it have turned into too big a thing maybe? I know if my DS knows something winds me up he'll do it even more. Have you tried just simply saying nothing else will happen until you've done it - so no snack/ meal/ playing / going out/ tv / whatever really. You don't have to get angry, just matter of fact. Mostly works for us.