Support thread for parents of late talkers?

[ItNeverRainsBut]

Anyone intersted in a support thread for parents of late talkers? I have seen a few threads lately where people are concerned about their child's language development and wondered if it would be helpful to have a general support thread where we could post tips, share stories and compare notes. I know there was a thread like this a while back but perhaps it's time for a new one?

I'd certainly be interested.

DS is now 22 months and, while he can communicate extremely effectively, the number of ACTUAL words he has is less than 20.

I know he understands SOO much more (he can follow instructions such as 'climb the stairs' 'sit on the settee' 'switch on the light' etc., but I find it draining trying to make him speak back to me.

I'd love tips from others about how NOT to respond to his non veral communication in a bid to help him verbalise his needs.

harimosmummy my ds had about 30 words at 2.6 years and i was worried that he wouldnt ever talk then suddenly (it seemed like overnight!) he started chatting and now thats all he does, chat chat chat chat from the minute he wakes up until he goes to sleep, he chats!!!

Thanks, Mehdismummy... I have taken to him to a Paed who said nothing to worry about, but I'm on my own with him and DD (*MO) and I find it very difficult to not just give in when I KNOW just what he wants.

I know with my nanny (he spends 2 afternoons a week with her), he speaks much more as she doesn't know what he means, so he has to get her attention...

For instance: When he wants her attention, he will call her by her name. When he wants mine, he simply looks directly at me while hollering in a high pitched voice (even though he knows 'mummy' and knows I'm mummy

i was also on my own, ds did the same thing but i use to just chat to him all the time, isnt there a preschool nearby, instead of a nanny send dc there? it helped ds loads, i really wouldnt worry though as i remember saying the same and now i wish he would just stop talking for 2 mins!

hello mehdismummy and harimosmummy

mehdismummy, sounds like your DS has made great progress! Do you think anything in particular helped?

harimosmummy, I think you are right to respond to your DSs non-verbal communication as it will encourage him to keep communicating with you. But you can always wait just a moment or two to give him a chance to use a word. Then if he doesn't use the word, use it yourself - repeat it lots, within short simple sentences. e.g. if he's indicating that he wants a banana, you can say "banana! you want banana. Yummy banana. You like banana..."

As a general rule, keep your language very simple and talk about whatever he is focusing on at the time (watch him closely to see what is holding his attention).

Itneverrainsbut

After 6 years of it, including two very intense years on mumsnet, I think I need the opposite kind of thread - a support thread for people who have become obsessed with sharing the wisdom of Hanen and Moondog and who can't resist recommending books.....

My goal just now is to let DS2 have an argument with the neighbour's daughter and discipline him accordingly rather than thinking "ooh, did you hear those fabulous pronouns!"

lingle what???!!! what or who is moondog!! itneverrains i think the turning point was when he starting mixing with other dc, i was also on my own 90% of the time and all i did was chat to him all the time and repeat words to him all the time. he does now however caht my ears off!!!

lingle
I can understand you feeling the need to "de-programme" yourself, so to speak. Here's to your DS2 having lots of arguments with the girl next door!

(Though if you get withdrawal symptoms and want to recommend any books etc this thread is here...)

I thought my son was a late talker. Couldn't understand anything he said till he turned 3.

my girls first words were 'ball' and 'mine'at six months.

1.boy was very physical and I have been told they cant develop everything at the same time. The physical development came first. I was always confident his comprehension was excellent

1. because he was moving around if he wanted something he would go get it rather than ask e.g. juice, cereal etc.

1. boy always gabbled long sentences which made no sense but he could repeat exactly so assumed meant something to him.

4.Girl spoke single words at a time. Much easier to learn how to get your mouth/muscles round a single word than a whole sentence

1. One day, my linguist friend said boy repeated my sentence.....I didn't understand it but she heard the pattern of it with her trained ear.

1. girl had the advantage of her older brother who was better at remembering exactly what her noises meant - he literally translated for me. This helped and encouraged her greatly.

so bottom line is they learned in completely different ways but in the long run I reckon it all evens out by the time they are 4. From the experience I have had I would say it is way to early to even think about worrrying over.

Want to join!
ds2 is 4 and a late talker with significant problems with articualtion and grammer. Vocabularly and comprehension are normal but his speech sounds babyish and I know people thing he is slow in other ways which is so frustrating.

He has just started to go to speech therapy in the last month or so after me mentioning it to HV from 24 months and being fobbed of saying it was because his older brother talked so much.

I now feel so responsible for not forcing the issue sooner and worry that he will never catch up and will always sounds so much younger than he is. I need reassurance if possible!

hey popcorn, you shouldn't worry about not having forced the issue. 24 months would be too early to know for sure one way or another. I know a lot of kids (age 4) who are at speech therapy and the progress seems pretty dramatic. At 24 months you dont want them 'labelled' or to be forcing any issue on them surely! I am sure it will sort itself out.

LOL Itnever rains - I'm always resolving to leave the language threads alone. Like you, I've had two kids with language problems and it's fascinating, frustrating but quite fulfilling all at the same time isn't it?. DS1 has outgrown all issues now which is nice.

Seriously though "It Takes Two to Talk" is always a good starting point (especially in response to harimosmummy's last paragraph). And other SN board members always recommend "Baby Talk".

In two years, I have never known any mumsnetter say "oh yes, they were right, his older/younger brother was talking for him, just like the health visitor suggested". I don't know why health visitors feel they can make an accurate assessment of the family dynamic based on their snapshot encounters.

Thanks, that is reassuring. He sounds so babyish and it takes a while to learn to work out what he is saying hopefully it will get better.

I would also recommend "Baby Talk" by Sally Ward, it was eye opening and powerful for me with DS (was dx with expressive language delay). It was recommended to me on MN and really taught me a lot.

Harios - SALT had to really push me to get me to stop responding to his non-verbal communication. It was he and I, 24/7 (no family/nursery/nanny/nothing), and it was so natural to me to respond as I knew everything he was communicating. It is a difficult habit to break - SALT had me waiting 10 seconds to respond, and it did make a noticable difference very quickly.

Would also recommend signing for those main things, helps with frustration IMO.

waves to new people on thread

And seconding the recommendations for the books "It Takes Two To Talk" and "Baby Talk".

I'd be interested in hearing more about signing as I'm wondering about trying to teach DS (16 mo) some signs. Any tips/stories about signing with toddlers?

ItNeverRains - I signed with DS from about 9mo - just basic things like eat, drink, more, etc. He signed back at 13mo or so. Although I did others with him (ie. animals, foods, colours, etc.), he only ever really picked up the signs for the things he frequently wanted. It was immensely helpful for him to be able to tell me what he wanted though.

Hi everyone

My DD is 3.5 and under a speech therapist her speeh got delayed due to sertious ill health and glue ear which meant she couldn't hear. She had the glue ear sorted in June and since then has been oming on well.

Itneverrains - I did sign with my DD as was only way of communiating with her for a while. Was easy to learn and I always said what I was signing aswell. I was given sheets by speech therapist with it on nit sure where else would get it but also used to watch Mr Tumble which DD loved and she would copy him better than me. Must admit made life easier as DD would have terrible tantrums at not being understood (she has always babbled but didn't make any sense)

Speech therapist also told me this week if she cant give me a word to give her 2 options EG If I know she's trying to ask for a drink say do you want a drink or a car (2nd option has to be something crazy!) She said this will help her stop panicking if she cant find the right word as you are giving her it without giving her it if you are with me!

Sorry to ramble on but DD speech is only thing I think of sometimes so a support thread is a great idea!

OK ds2 is going to turn 3 in a couple of weeks, and he does have an older brother who does and did the talking for him (DS1 even has a 'voice' when he talks for the younger one) and now that DS2 has just started to talk, his speech is much more 'free' if his big brother isn't there. I'm not sure if an older sibling can cause a speech delay, but in our family situation I think it has 'exacerbated' the problem. Now I try to send my older son to friends' houses, or to MIL, and keep DS2 all to myself and he talks uch much more when he is alone with me.

I still don't know if signing was good or bad for us, but I signed with both DSs. First one signed very early, very easily, and talked normal age and well. DS2 had more problems learning signs, didn't learn fast at all, and spoke much much later. He only started saying words at 2.6 ish and now says short sentenced but not good prononciation.

What I am finding difficult now is to know what level of service DS should receive, what type of speech therapy is best. Every appointment/evaluation is a real battle, first the SALTs are too busy, or now willing to provide therapy, and very slow in doing any referral. He has been avaluated left right center by everybody on the NHS but has actually received very little direct help - just one group therapy course of 6 sessions called 'little talkers'.

The salt told me that she was going to refer him to a specialist school for his nursery, starting in September (she told me that weeks ago) , but I called the school this morning and they haven't received the application. It's stillw ith the 'family liaison group'. Anyway, what should I do next, show up with a baseball bat and demand therapy?

Thanks sunshine78 and itsabeautiful life. So far I've taught DS the "milk" sign and he can do it but doesn't realise that he could use to ask to breastfeed (he just cries and grabs at my top - which I hate - instead). I'm perservering though. I wonder if I had done signing with DD (3.6) if it would have helped her catch up more quickly (her language is delayed but improving rapidly so she's catching up, though not fully caught up).

sunshine78 that is a good tip about choice questions.

BlueberryPancake, that sounds frustrating re SALT. It seems crazy that having assessed your DS they are not then doing anything. Fair enough at this stage to get back to them to find out what's happening with the nursery application (and maybe keep writing them until they get on with it).