Mild ADHD

[maltesers]

Mumsnetters . Has anyone had their child privately assessed for ADHD ?????????
My 9 yr old DS is struggling socially at school. He is bright He is at a private fee paying good preps school . At school they have done their best to assess him and he does "tick" most of the mild ADHD boxes as it were.
I have not formally had him diagnosed except last year by a paediatric doctor who suspects he has mild ADHD. However, I would like to get him assessed privately and pay but his father who is my Ex doesnt want to have him "Labelled".. I disagree, because its not about labelling him, its about know exactly what he has and then getting help to find ways to help our son . He has little understanding of Cause and Effect socially . He lacks insight into emotional sensitivity and understanding. This was causing him to become increasingly unpopular at school. I am very worried. Can anyone advise or help ??

He sounds exactly like my DS who is 8. he attends a selective prep, so is bright enough but is unable to sit still for even a minute and his classmates have labelled him "annoying" some of his teachers seem to agree too.
I have been thinking of taking him to see someone and get a diagnosis for some time so I am intersted to read about you DS who seems to have the same problems. Does anyone have an older child who has gone through the same, I am desperate to know if this is just emotional immaturity or something much more complex?

I gues it may be ADHD or something like.....my son is similar and in some ways seems immature...but it must be part of his ADHD. We are about to have him assessed privately costing £425. My Ex DP doesnt want to have our son 'labelled' , as he calls it. However, its not about labelling IMHO its about finding out what they think he has and then being given the tools to help him im life , so he doesnt struggle.

Sorry to repeat myself. It was a while ago i first posted and had forgotten what i wrote. Good luck with your son ATAH....keep me up to date. x

we got a private diagnosis of ADHD when ds was in Y4. we were at the end of our tether as he was bright but immature and always in trouble. We did not want to go down the labelling route, but we had exhausted other options (ans were exhausted - ds is only mild but it was still tough).
The diagnosis was useful because:
he is adhd hyperactive impulsive - this means that he lacks emotional brakes. Some children think before acting - these adhd children don't; they just react, therefore traditional reward/sanction behaviour management techniques do not work - we used cognitive behavioural therapy.
Also I read somewhere (and it seems true) that ADHD children are about a third younger emotionally than their chronological age. This means they often annoy their classmates and can't handle playground politics. It is also difficult for bright children who can feel this mismatch in their development.
The diagnosis meant we could set realistic expections of his behaviour so that he did not become too discouraged - he wanted to be good.
The assessment also included a general ed psych report which assessed him as being v bright and this seemed to give the teachers more patience.
HOWEVER, some teachers at school ignored the diagnosis because they did not think ADHD existed - it was just an excuse. Others refused to try the ed psych's suggested behavuour management techniques.

DS is now in Y9 and has won a scholarship to his school. He is still immature sometimes, but (prob because of all the talking stuff through) is able to articulate his worries and feelings about being a teenager. He is also sensitive and caring and always tries to include the annoying child that noone else likes - because he remembers being that child.
Whether you go ahead with the diagnosis or not - the fact that you are here asking for advice shows you both doing your best. I found the diagnosis was good for me too - I wasn't a rubbish parent - my ds just sometimes needed a different approach. This gave me the confidence to tackle the school. HTH

Thanks WorriedMum23...that was helpful.

Just wanted to ask those of you whove paid for a private diagnosis, how do you go about it?

At my wits end with ds1, going round in circles, seen ed psychs, peads over two yrs, didnt get very far then they unexpectedly signed him off. Ive now asked for another referral with a specific person who ds1 2nd cousin who has aspergers was diagnosed by.

Looked into going privately to see a OT but fee £100 ph and wasnt sure how/if she could help/if see could diagnose and how many hours it would take. cant really afford to go private, but the way things are at the moment id find the money somehow.

Thanks mnetters for your input., We are getting our son diagnosed . The private child psychologist is going to assess him for a day at school....we have also filled in many forms about his behaviour. I am looking forward to hearing what the psychologist has to say.