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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

How do you teach a child how to make friends?

2 replies

janeys2010 · 18/03/2010 20:00

i have a 5 year old who has recently started school and seems to be having problems making friends. SHe's been in nursery from the age of 4 months and had lots of friends there but obviously grew up with them from a time they couldn't communicate verbally. None of her friends have gone to the same school as her so she is starting from scratch with all of them. At times she seems to be getting on ok and at other times she gets upset that no one wants to play with her. I work full time so can't join in with the after school teas with friends so the best i can do is taking time off during the holidays to try and have friends over. Any other thoughts or suggestions would be most appreciated!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
moosemama · 18/03/2010 20:52

The Unwritten Rules of Friendship is a very good book and well worth a read. Lots of people on here recommend it.

Its horrible not being able to be there and help them navigate the minefield of playground interaction isn't it. I know when my ds was going through this I just wanted to be able to go and help, but ultimately I guess all we can do is guide from the sidelines and they have to find their own way. I think that's where the book comes in, as its a way of enabling parents to help/empower their children without actually having to be 'there' to resolve the problem in a hands-on way.

I guess she'd be in reception year at age 5? I think its a difficult year for a lot of children, as they are finding their feet in the school environment and at the same time, learning to negotiate the playground. I think most children have good days and bad days and many of them have days where they can't find anyone to play with at playtime and get upset about it.

If it helps, things tend to improve by the time they get into year 1, as by then they've usually identified the group of children they feel most comfortable with and tend to gravitate into little teams a lot more.

My ds2 regularly got upset about playtime/lunchtime in reception year, but now in year 1 he has identified the children he gets on best with and knows where to look for them in the playground, so can go straight over rather than wandering around looking for someone to play with.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I definitely think reading the book is worth a try though.

janeys2010 · 20/03/2010 18:44

thank you! i will order the book this weekend.

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