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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Please stop me from losing it....

15 replies

ihearthuckabees · 18/03/2010 19:17

OK, I have had to leave the room, as my DS (8) is sitting at the dinner table, crying (in that really whiny way) because he doesn't like his dinner and I won't give him anything else to eat. He was told that once he eats it up, he will be allowed back on Club Penguin to finish what he was doing before teatime, then it's up to bed at 7.30. If he isn't finished, it's still up to bed at 7.30.

WHY IS HE WASTING HIS PRECIOUS MINUTES CRYING, INSTEAD OF JUST SHOVING THE FOOD DOWN THEN GETTING BACK ON THE GAME????

Arghh, I could scream - nearly did, which is why I've left the room.

Rant, rant, rant.

Help me stay calm come 7.30, when I will have to put him to bed with an empty stomach...............

PS I know I shouldn't let him play on the computer before bedtime, in case anyone feels like pointing that out to me. (defensive emoticon)

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thisisyesterday · 18/03/2010 19:23

maybe he really doesn't like his dinner?

Original poster

ihearthuckabees · 18/03/2010 19:33

Update: crying has stopped and he is reluctantly eating (although he claims he feel sick!).

thisisyesterday, do you think I'm too harsh?

OP posts:

FernieB · 18/03/2010 19:37

Well done to you for staying firm. You are not running a restaurant and should not be expected to cook whatever anyone feels like at the time. If he doesn't like it, tough, maybe tomorrow you'll cook his favourite but today this is what he has for dinner. Good for you.

And I don't really see any problem with letting him play on the computer before bed.

FernieB · 18/03/2010 19:39

Mine always feel 'sick' if it's not their favourite meal but always stage a miraculous recovery in time for dessert.

CarGirl · 18/03/2010 19:40

There is a possibility that he is feeling sick but I would have taken your stance.

I remember feeling sick and not wanting to eat fried corned beef, my Dad made me eat it, my Mum made him clear up the sick after I puked in the night!

thisisyesterday · 18/03/2010 19:58

i don;'t know if you're being harsh tbh! if it's something he usually eats up with no problem then I guess you aren't. but if it's something he doesn't particularly like or something new then he may just really, really not want it

I have to say I don't make mine eat their dinners if they don't want them (though they are younger), because I know what it's like to sit in front of a meal that you really don't want to eat.
SOmetimes i just don't fancy things, children must be the same sometimes don't you think? even stuff I normally like I sometimes just don't want that day.

or maybe he is just tired and hungry and whiney and not really wanting to do anything much at all?

notapizzaeater · 18/03/2010 20:02

Hmm, mine wouldn't eat Gnocchi last week (apparently it looked like caterpillar bugs) so he was told he had to eat everything else on his plate before he could have pudding so he did. Was it all the meal or just one item ?

Original poster

ihearthuckabees · 18/03/2010 22:30

Thanks for your comments. In the end, he ate the food - it took him til 7.45, and he used up about half a bottle of ketchup! Anyway, I then made him hot chocolate (said no to the computer, as it had taken too long and he'd overshot the deadline) then he went off to bed. Feel good that I didn't totally lose it (which is why I had to come on here to let off steam) and that I stood firm.

But I do feel bad. I wish dinner time could be calmer and more organised (with better food) but I work from home teaching music, so the couple of hours following school are always crazy with people coming and going, and me being unavailable, then I've got to get the tea on the table. Plus I hate cooking (even if I'm not too bad at it), so find it hard to be inspired into making tasty things that can be done in advance. DH helps when he can, but he's often working too.

OP posts:

Bensmum76 · 19/03/2010 09:22

My DS is 2.5 years and has gone through phases of fussy eating. I either bribe him with pudding (I know not the best solution but it works for us) or tell him theres nothing else and ask him if he wants to leave the table. As a child my mum used to make me and my sister sit at the table for ages if we didn't want to eat our food which i believe has led to both me and my sister feeling we HAVE to empty our plates even if we're full!! (grin)

JustMoon · 19/03/2010 14:44

This sounds like a lot of our mealtimes with DS1, with dramatic exclaimations of how disgusting everything is. Unfortunately DS2 is now picking up on it and joining in. I usually try bribery but if they don't eat it the only other thing they can have is fruit, I certainly wouldn't make another dinner.

ppeatfruit · 19/03/2010 15:56

ihearthuck.. Is it not poss. to prepare yr DS"s supper And yours?? before the rush starts?

I don't know ..have some rice ready with salad and pie or whatever and give him some fruit before his meal to bring his blood sugar level up slowly but not to leave him starving?

cory · 19/03/2010 17:59

I don't let ds (9) have anything if he doesn't eat his food. But I don't make him stay at the table either: if he wants to be hungry, that is his problem. He knows he won't get any sympathy if he is hungry at bedtime, I don't worry about it at all.

FernieB · 19/03/2010 18:58

Can you do as much prep as possible for the meal in the morning? It's the first thing I do when I get back from dropping the kids at school. I chop all veggies etc and get everything done as much as possible so at dinner I just have to throw it all together quite quickly.

Original poster

ihearthuckabees · 19/03/2010 19:23

FernieB - you are right. This is what I should do, although I always walk the dog straight after school run, for at least an hour. Then on some days I teach during the day too, then it's a case of, 'Oh I'll have a cup of tea before I start my chores...' and then, you know how it goes.

Half the problem is that I can't stand cooking, so thinking of what to make and shopping for the ingredients, never mind prepping the food in advance just drives me nuts. So I avoid it, then it all goes pear shaped. My fantasy would be to be rich enough to afford a personal chef!

You would be proud of me today though - I made a bolognaise before I started work, so it was just pasta to cook and then dinner was served. All got eaten too. Hurray! Am glad I stuck it out last night, even if I had to go on MN to stop myself from flying into a rage. Thanks to all for calming me down

OP posts:

zozzle · 19/03/2010 19:28

iheart... I've recently bought a slow cooker so can do the meal in the morning turn it on and leave it cooking all day and come in to a hot meal. What about buying a stock of pre-chopped or frozen veg so you don't have to do much chopping.

Apologies if you've already explored this option tho...

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