stressful discipline issues - please help!

[letrangere]

DS is 5 soon and has absolutely no interest in listening to what we say. He ignores requests to do absolutely anything, has to be asked 15 times before he does something simple and before he does it, we end up shouting and disciplining him.

Have tried reward charts, we see things through/ never give in/ back down (as in if he's told he can;t have something unless he does x, he never gets it). I have tried taking away toys, and he just says 'take them then' and carries on.

This has been going on for a really long time. Saying 'no' has never had any effect, if I tell him to stop he just does things more/ faster so he can finish before I reach him. he frequently laughs when he's told off.

Am going insane. He has a little sister who is learning to shout from her strung out mum and am 9 months pregnant so not dealing with things as well as I might! Please help ...

should also say we give lots of praise and when he behaves well we really show we appreciate it so he gets plenty of positive messages ...

Sounds like you're having a rough time. How is he at school? Do his teachers find that he plays up? It sounds like you're doing exactly the right things so I think you just have to persevere. Particularly with ensuring you always follow through. Is he a bright cookie? Might he respond well to sitting down and working out some rules jointly?

Have you read 'how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'?

thanks for reassurance! he is bright but also has an extremely short attention span (i know tihs is normal in his age but it seems to be even more so in him than his friends). he gets that he needs to learn to listen but finding out how to make it happen is hard. He often just doesn't even respond when I talk to him , to the point where you';d think he couldn't hear. (he can!).

he's not a 'naughty' boy at school but has had one or two incidents where he's been in trouble - interesting that this morning when he had been told off he asked me not to tell his teacher ... wihch was really annoying! why is he more worried in ebing in trouble there?

it is tough - we can't even bribe him! i know that's bad but other people's last resorts don't work with us. just want to get things to an easier point with new baby.