9 year old explosions

[woodsiepink]

My 9 yr old son has recently started having quite frequent temper outbursts, not only at home, but at school too. He cries, shouts, screams, kicks and throws things. Most of the time he is a well-behaved, thoughtful, funny, bright boy. He hates being teased though and he hates perceived injustice and these things seem to really set him off. He also hates being told he's done something wrong. I'm worried that his friends at school will start to avoid him because of his unpredictability. He knows his behaviour isn't acceptable, but doesn't know how to manage it. I don't want him repressing his anger but would like to give him some tools for dealing with it more constructively. Any ideas anyone?

Is he bored? Being bullied? Struggling at school with something? Something must be setting off his mood swings.

Getting him involved in sométhing (which you may have already done), such as a sporting activity may help him release any pent up anger or energy.

Our DS (nearly 9) similar...He too is v thoughtful and sociable and was a noticeably bright as he developed. I worry that we overpraised him so now he has unrealistic standards for himself, hence the outbursts when criticised/loses. He seems to think if he's not brilliant then he's rubbish and gives up. He also on low moments (when v tired) will say he hates his face, he hates himself etc It's v worrying....
I hope to persuade him ( he hates the idea of any clubs or classes where there's a 'teacher' - yet often once he joins in he loves it) into the cubs where there's lots of activities and challenges. Once he has embraced a challenge to rise to he responds very well - perhaps your DS is the same...?

My dd (8.10) is exactly the same, although she tends not to explode at school. I wonder if it is puberty. Last night when she got in the bath she seemed to have the tiniest roll of fat around her middle which I understand precedes breast developent

Submarinegirl- you could be describing our DS who is 10. I too worry we've overpraised him. Recently he passed his cello Grade one with virtually no practise. When the certificate came he tore it up because he didn't get a merit or distinction.

I used to give him alot of attention when he went on about how rubbish he is, pointing out all his talents, achievements etc. Now I just say I'm not going to listen if he's going to be negative about himself. Not sure whether it's the right thing or not to do, but he has seemed quite a bit happier lately.

Woodsie, is your DS very active? It's helped our DS to keep him physically active. I try to make sure he does at least an hour exercise out of school, and at the week-ends at least 3 hours.

Hi Thanks for your comments everyone. New to Mumsnet, so not sure what DS or DD means.
No, he's not very active and I did wonder about getting him interested in a sport. He's rubbish at football. MAybe tennis would be worth a try.
I was telling one of his friend's mums about the outbursts and she thought it might be a testosterone burst. Haven't read up on it, so don't know if she might be right.
Thanks again.