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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Dummy addiction = toddler tantrums. Want it to go! Help please

13 replies

cupcake78 · 18/03/2010 03:06

DS is 2.6mths, has dummy which he loves!!! I HATE!! We try to only restrict it to bedtime but he wants it all day long and DH is a pushover and gives in at the last minute. The tantrums this causes are massive and long lasting (can last into hrs). It is for this reason I want to get rid of it but think it'll be our biggest challenge yet!

We have talked about the dummy fairy coming and taking all dummies and maybe leaving a present. I get the usual "no mummy".
I've tried to get it off him with choc buttons for dummy etc but he's having none of it!

Is it just a case of cold turkey and headache tablets?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pat2chat · 18/03/2010 09:02

Hi, brings back memories (my kids now 15 & 12) my ds loved his dummies ( 1 in each hand and 1 in the mouth!!) He gave his to the elephants at the zoo, but when tired later was a nightmare........but only for a couple of days. It really is tough but worth it, take a deep breath and go for it! make sure dh is with you and does not give in...

Filmbuffmum · 18/03/2010 09:09

My memory of this with DS1 is that it did only take a few days until he forgot, and that it was easier done at a time with other distractions. I think we went on a three day trip to my parents, and I 'forgot' to take the dummy. Somehow inbetween wrecking playing nicely with all my old childhood toys, going to the museum, swimming pool, toy shop, library etc etc, DS1 forgot that the dummy was essential!

MrsJohnDeere · 18/03/2010 09:12

I pierced ds1's dummies with holes so that they didn't feel right in his mouth, then he chose to stop using them.

Original poster

cupcake78 · 18/03/2010 12:27

were going on holiday in aweek and I have been thinking of 'forgetting to take the dummies with me' but wondering if a strange bed and no dummy is just to much!

I have stared from today to only have dummies at bedtime! Its easy today cos ds is with his grandparents so won't care so much! tomorrow however may be different.

OP posts:

cheatedon · 18/03/2010 16:48

My Ds loved his dummy during the day. I attached it with a buggy dummy attachment thing to his favourite toys arm. He loved that but it meant that when he let go of the toy to play (as it had to be carried when the dummy was in), the dummy was too heavy so it fell out. He was happy to then leave it on the floor, when I put in my bag or where ever. It got in the way when he was trying to explore. He decided on his own to give it up during the day and I encouraged him to leave his toy in bed when he got up "because his toy will keep his bed cosy". We did mainly the distraction thing if he asked for his dummy, something really exciting always happened if he asked for his dummy!!

Ceebee74 · 18/03/2010 16:52

I am guessing that cold turkey might be your only option if you want rid - however, my friend did tell me a good technique that she used with her DD which may help (I am going to use it with my DS2 who is showing early signs of addiction but, at 16 months, is still too young to understand).

Basically, explain that dummies do not come downstairs so if he wants it, he can have it but he has to go upstairs and stay upstairs as long as he wants his dummy - most children do not want to stay upstairs for very long so he is likely to go upstairs, have a quick suck and then come back downstairs again (particularly if you don't have any exciting toys upstairs ). It may just break the cycle and then you can try and wean him off it?

MrsDermotOleary · 19/03/2010 21:38

I have just managed to get rid of ds's dummy in the daytime. He is 2.3 and wanted his dummy all day long. I decided to go cold turkey and deal with the fallout. It took 3 days of whining and tantrums, but it worked and now he doesn't even ask for it at all.

One thing I would recommend though is to try and get him to hand the dummy over to you, don't force it from him. I used to bring ds downstairs and make his milk, then ask him to give me his dummy while he drank his milk. Then I would put it on a high shelf where he couldn't see or reach it. He spent the best part of three days whining and crying for his dummy. Interestingly, several times just as I was about to cave in and give him the damned thing, he stopped crying and went off to play. (Food was a good distraction too, but then ds is a greedy little thing good eater.)

I have never been able to do controlled crying but this was manageable as I was with him all the time (he still has dummy at night) and I knew it was for his own good.

Best of luck!! Stick with it, it's worth it. Ds now wakes up and leaves his dummies in the cot without fail every morning.

Good luck!!

Nettiespagetti · 21/03/2010 08:15

Ds gave him to Santa at 2.2 yrs. Dd still has hers at mo but teddy who lives in cot looks after them during the day. I intend to do the same she will give hers to Santa in exchange for a present when she is 2.2.

Ds asked for his a couple of times but just told him santa had them! I never gave in don't know if I'll be as strong with daughter but she is bit more hard work!!

Good luck.

TottWriter · 21/03/2010 10:10

We do the 'trade it for breakfast' thing too, though recently DP has been caving occasionally. DS has twigged that if he's very poorly or hurts himself we'll sometimes give him the dummy to soothe him, so cue a sudden occurence of 'poorly' or 'hurt' claims . The ironic thing is that he's been fine without it during the day for the last few months, and now he's learned to try and manipulate us he suddenly wants it back. Very frustrating.

While we're on the subject, how do you go the next step and get rid of it during naps/bedtime? He still has a dummy to go to sleep for both, and ideally we'd like to progress to not having that next. (sorry for the hijack OP )

Nettiespagetti · 22/03/2010 00:13

I let ds keep it for naps at bedtimes right up until he gave it to Santa!

pigletmania · 22/03/2010 17:30

I totally know what you mean, my dd now just 3 was a dummy addict. i decided to get rid of them once and for all at Christmas, santa was going to take them to all the babies and bring her lovely presents instead . I was prepared for tantrums, crying screaming, but no i was so surprised it was fine she seemed to accept it. Now sometimes she cries for dum dums and she calls them and then tells herself no they are for the babies and that is that. Just go cold turkey, tell your ds that he is a big boy and that the dummy fairy is coming to take his dummies to the babies that need them, and give him a lovely present instead. Might be better than you think

I am doing the nappy fairy now, as i want to get rid of those god awful nappies, so dd is talking about the nappy fairy coming soon and taking the nappies away (well in a couple of months time when she is a bit more ready and weather is warmer)

pranma · 22/03/2010 22:05

My dgs left his in a bag for 'the dummy lady' who took them for the babies and left him a torch.He was nearly 3 though.

girliefriend · 25/03/2010 21:14

I went cold turkey with my dd at 18 months as the dummies were driving me nuts and she surprised me, she cried for it for about an hour the 1st night and then that was it - forgotton! If I were you just do it, its probably the fact that you and dh and are being a bit inconsistant that is causing the tantrums.

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