my 2 year old daughter wont come near me

[graveydavey]

I have a two year old daughter who is fine with me on my own. We spend one day a week together on our own and enjoy things like parks, ducks, zoo etc. I also pick her up from nursery as often as poss and spend other parts of days with her.

However, when her Mum is around she won't even come near me and often kicks or hits me. She cries if I come near her and this is upsetting me and Mum. It also means that Mum has to do all the caring when we are together.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Dave

It's very common. My ds was the same - preferred me to his daddy. It did pass. So much so that now at 8 I thinks he prefers his daddy to me!

2 is a funny old age and I think most 2 year olds would show a definite preference at this age - usually for the mother but often for the father.

My ds (almost 3) still has a very clear preference for my over his dad. They have a great time together, dh picks him up from nursery and they have about 1.5 hours together before I get home and never any problems. When his dad isn´t around he asks for him. But when it is the 3 of us he often rejects dh so I have to do everything with him, push the buggy, hold his hand, carry him, help him eat, put to bed. he does accept a 50% split on bathtimes - he often goes with his dad complaining but then they have giggles and fun in the bath. its a real ´mummy do it´ case

It is hard on dh, he does find it hard not to feel rejected but I´ve seen this with so many friends and try to reassure him the shoe will no doubt be on the other foot in the not too distant future. Just patience I think, and try not to take it personally though i know its hard.

I'm experiencing the opposite at present. So completely normal and just a development phase. Try not to take it seriously.

It's horrible isn't it? I've had this too, with my mum. It was worse when he was younger (2.5 now). He used to hit me in the face when I came home after work as he didn't want nannie to leave.

My DS is also going through a Daddy phase at the moment. I work full-time, and find myself close to tears sometimes when he wont hold my hand at the weekend. He and his dad run off holdng hands and I'm left pushing the pushchair / holding the bags. It doesn't happen all the time but often enough.

I try very hard not to take it personally too. And yes, when it's just the too of us we get on great and he says 'I love you Mummy' all the time.

Strange, it's the one problem I never anticipated when pregnant. I expected all babies to 'love' Mummy best.

two

it must be the age because my 2yo has told me repeatedly throughout today to 'go away mummy' but it's not worth taking seriously. it must just be a phase they all go through preferring one parent to the other.

I have just read your post to my dh. It could have been written by him. our dd aged 2 also tells him she only loves mummy not him. She hits him as well. When I am not around they get on so well but if I'm home she wants only me.It can be very stressful. We can't really help except to say you are not alone and i'm sure it is just a phase.

thankyou all for your help. This is my first post on mumsnet and it's great to know that there is support out there not directly related to our family unit.

Cheers x