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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it just my 5 year old who has the attitude of a teenager?S

22 replies

missmoopy · 17/03/2010 20:02

She is generally a very lovely girl but lately has had a really bad attitude. She doesn't listen, tantrums when we say no, answers back, argues....we are trying very hard to use consequences, ignore the bad, praise the good and be consistent - the usual stuuf, but not sure any of it is making any difference!!

Am I the only mummy whose dear child has entered teenage years many many years too soon!!??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

10Kmum71 · 18/03/2010 06:42

Hi missmoopy,

Fear not I too have a stroppy 5 year old daughter. I am already telling her to 'turn that music down' and I'm still baffled that sometimes when I tell her to do something she is saying no before I have got to the end of my sentence.

I'm sure I was not like that as a child, although my mum and dad constantly tell me that she is just like me when I was that age

So the tables have now turned my daughter is now me and I am now my mum!

thisisnotwhoyouthink · 18/03/2010 07:55

Nooooooooooo, my 4yr old is doing all this and i thought it wasa phase!! i thought he might come back between the ages of 5 and 13...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Original poster

missmoopy · 18/03/2010 20:04

Sorry thisis, but it appears to be more than a phase....[pours another gin emoticon]!

10K, that is good to hear, if you know what I mean. Glad it is not just us!

OP posts:

10Kmum71 · 19/03/2010 12:34

Yes I agree I've shared the 'good news' with my two sisters. One has an 8 month old daughter and the other has a 6 year old son

thisisnotwhoyouthink · 19/03/2010 22:49

My two are 18 mths apart.. does that mean I am going to have TWO of these creatures AT THE SAMKE TIME????

FatSeal · 21/03/2010 21:05

Snap She's driving me nuts, getting cheekier and cheekier, growling, stamping and slamming doors etc, shouting back etc . I thought she was all grown out of the temoer wobblies when she was 4 but they're back now with a vengeance.

I sort of date it from starting school, although this coincides with me falling pg, so more kind-hearted friends and family give her a big benefit of the doubt about new baby anxiety. I don't, I think she is a cheeky little madam.

Right, off to start that new thread about her worst behavioural issue I need help with...

Groan, at least I'm not the only one. Unfortunately still no gin for me, 3 more weeks to go!

Portofino · 21/03/2010 21:10

No, def not alone. My dd does these "faces", lots of eye rolling and huffing. Today we were getting ready to go swimming and I grabbed her shoes. She kicked them across the room, saying " I don't want to wear THEM". I don't want to go swimming then.......

onehitwonder · 21/03/2010 21:10

We have the same here. I can practically see her rolling her eyes at me. Starting school seemed to be a trigger for us too. I think part of it is tiredness.

exotictraveller · 21/03/2010 21:19

OMG, the rolling eyes thing, my DD does that too (she's 6, yr 2) and it drives me mad. She seems to have got worse recently after a 'good' phase that seemed to last for quite a while.

I am seriously dreading the teenage years. I might leave home and come back when she's past them.

munstersmum · 21/03/2010 21:36

Totally agree it links to starting school.
The phrase we kept getting to accompany the crossed arms was "it's my choice" and the roots of that became clear at parents evening. "We encourage the children to realise they have a choice and make good decisions."

Now at 5, DS rolls his eyes and says 'mother' in a most exasperated tone.

10Kmum71 · 26/03/2010 12:31

Dd1 now believes she can tell me what I can & can't do! No dancing or singing, however I must play let's pretend.

These pretend games usually involve me being her 'wing girl' so.... " mummy I'm the teacher & you're the assistant" or "mummy you're the patient & I'm the Dr/Nurse".

What will I do when dd2 (17 months) gets old enough to join her sergeant-major big sister? [Confused]

AnnieLobeseder · 26/03/2010 12:34

Nope, you're not alone, I have a 4-going-on-14-year-old.

She won't get out of bed in the morning, answers back, sighs when I ask her to do something and tells me I'm embarassing!

CaptainPicardsPineapple · 26/03/2010 12:38

Just to brighten everyone's day I thought come along and tell you it's a loooong phase. DD almost 8 is like a stroppy teen. Her teacher agreed with at the recent parent's evening and gave me her sympathies for the coming teenage years because if it's like this now WTF is it going to be like in 5 years?

mistlethrush · 26/03/2010 12:53

Its not just girls either - just to spread the pain around a bit !

JustGetOnWithIt · 26/03/2010 13:18

I don't think they are being teenagers, I think they are being 5 and are trying to assert their independence (in a very annoying way!), it just looks like teenagerey-ness.I find that every once in a while we have to come down really hard on the bad attitude - zero tolerance, punished with very early to bed - then they almost seem relieved to discover that the parents are in control and turn back into sweet creatures. Also, think about how many kids tv shows have quite young kids acting in an obnoxious way e.g. Tracy Beaker (additional punishment for my boys when rude is to be called 'Tracy')

colnelcustard · 26/03/2010 15:44

my daughter who is four just called me a stupid idiot in front of the whole school.

i feel blessed.

kissingfrogs · 26/03/2010 21:16

Catchymonkey
What a little darling you have there!

colnelcustard · 27/03/2010 08:05

i was bloody mortified. I said in my strictest voice. I beg your pardon.

she started crying and said 'i htought you were going to leave me outside the school'.

how reasonable.

Goblinchild · 27/03/2010 08:39

And as the mother of two teenagers, I was just going to post what a lucky woman you are that she's gone through the foul 8/10 year old phase and come out as a mature, sensible teenager who is willing to listen, negotiate, come to an agreement, be a responsible citizen, make tea, do the shopping, help her sibling with things he finds tricky, laugh at your jokes and watch late night films with.
Buy her own clothes and amusements, hold down a job whilst being at college, invite her lovely friends over and generally be a wonderful human being.

I could list different but equal virtues her younger brother has, but that might really screw up your steroetyping.

Kayla8819 · 02/03/2021 23:00

My little girl is exactly the same her attitude is really bad and she never listens to anything I ask her to do

Mum2two29 · 11/03/2021 15:45

I have exactly the same at the moment. It’s been going on around a year now. She is 5, and it’s like we have a teenager in the house. She doesn’t listen to anything we say, She copies what I say in a sarcastic voice, she doesn’t care about consequences.

She has a little brother who is nearly two and she will say ‘you love ... more than me’ if anything we have always given her a lot more attention as we didn’t want her to feel left out ect. I’m at such a loose end, I don’t know what to do. I feel like she is never happy and there is always something to have a tantrum about.

Dinner time can be just the same and the effects are rubbing off onto my son. I have called the doctors and they have told me to go on a website and read some stuff but I honestly don’t know who to turn to to try and make this house a better place for us all. She is only happy when she is doing something she wants to do, be that she’s jumping off and on the sofa or she’s watching her tablet. Does anyone have any tips? Very sad mumma here 😕 I forgot to mention her temper is very short and that worries me a lot.

Thanks

Verytired2019 · 14/03/2021 19:26

Hi @Mum2two29 we are having the same issue with our 4.5yr old DD. Her general attitude and way of talking to us is so wearing, and then she had massive tantrums/meltdowns which escalate very quickly.
We try to keep calm during the meltdowns but the talking back and demanding things rudely then throwing or screaming when the outcome isn’t what she wants is really getting to me.
No answers I’m afraid 😞

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