Hi,
Newbie here but have lurked for a long time and seen that the advice offered here is fantastic so thought you may be able to help me out.
May get very long so bear with me want to give as much info as possible rather than drip feed it.
I have a 4 year old DD a almost 10 year old DS and a 11month old almost 1 DD. this regards my 4 year old.
Background my older 2's dad my husband died when the 4 year old was just 7 months, due to this my DS he was just 18 days past his 6th birthday was dignosed with Emotional behavioual disorder, he has since also been dignosed with ADHD (is on concerta) Sleep disorder i.e he dose not sleep, and now is being assessed for aspergers, he is a very angry little boy some of which stems from the death of his dad and also his baby sister to SIDS (my daughter) he was just 2 at the time. Due to all the difficulties we were having with DS his violent rages towards me and DD1 never towards DD2 or my partner who he calls dad he went and lived with my aunt and uncle during the week and came home at weekends my partner then became really ill and spent 7 weeks in hospital with pancritis he almost died twice and we have been told he still could if he has another attack like the last one.
DS dose adore his sisters and they adore him DD1 follows him around all the time and he is under CAMHS and has been at teir 3 for almost 4 years with little improvement each meltdown is worst than the last etc
For varius reasons DS came back home for good a few weeks ago and we have things in place now that seem to be helping him at last but it's not about DS that I am concerned. DD1 has for the last 8 months or so gone from a very outgoing child (she still is to some degree) to a very very clingy one wants to sit on my lap all the time etc that I can handle and understand why she needs the reasurance but she has also been soiling herself on a daily basis sometimes up to 5 times a day dispite going to the toliet a few moments before,(i have never know a child to go to the loo as much as she dose) we are waiting on a under 5's appointment for her at CAMHS, they are looking at her for ADHD as well possibly but have been told this won't be til after easter. I have no idea how to help her with this behaviour she is doing it everywhere at home out and about in the supermarket the other day and she pooed then wee'd and proceded to jump around in her wee like she was jumping in puddles, and at nursery although they haven't noticed it we notice hen she gets home and has abviously been sitting in it for a while as it has dried. We do all the positve praise etc. I think I understand why she is doing it although it's been going on since before the issues with DS started and him moving out etc, I have taken her to the Dr's and they have ruled out anything medical so it is emotional. HV has said not to make too much fuss about it and just clean her up etc which we have done but after this going on for so long and so much I can't take any more. Wondered if any of you have some advice that we could try?
thanks.