brothers arguing and over competetive

[jayjayp]

my 2 sons are 9 & 12 y.o. they are very happy and well rounded (I believe so anyway!!) and they socialise very well with their peers most of the time but when they are together they have started to become very competetive and argue with each other constantly, mostly about ridiculous topics like who is the best at.... or my... is better than yours etc... i have tried to intervene in their squabbles which can just cause them to start playing 'the blame game' so then they argue about that, it can even make things worse sometimes, so i tried just letting them 'get on with it' to see if they could resolve their issues on thier own, but this just ended up in the situation escalating into a riot!!!! does any one have advice on how to cope with feuding brothers? they can really drive me mad sometimes as this phase is dragging on now and i am getting little break from listening to them nickering!!!

Jayjayp my two boys are younger than yours 5 and 8 and they do this, testosterone maybe?

To be the refereee is very tiring, so I offer mine the choice now:

they either sort their squabbles out between them (good practice for later life)

or I'll put them both into time out.

They ususally sort it out between themselves!

thanx dollytwat will try, will keep posted of any success/failures, any other suggestions welcomexx

I agree with Dollytwat. My DSs are 7 and 9. I do what she says, and it works amazingly well - especially if they arguing over a toy, or what's on TV.

For issues that keep re-occurring, I sometimes have a short Family Meeting. Each of us gets a turn to talk (including DH if he's in), and the one talking has to hold a wooden spoon (they find this quite funny so it breaks the ice). No one can interrupt, shout, or name call. They seem to appreciate time to talk and listen, and I get to have my say without screaming like a banshee. Suggestions can be made for resolving problems, then we shake hands and i get everyone to apologise to each other.

I feel a need to have one soon (Wii-related arguing ....)

before you have a family meeting, make sure everyone is calm - put them in their rooms if necessary. Doesn't work in the heat of the moment.

The most annoying arguments are the pathetic ones like who won a race down the street - when one of them said "go" and set off before the other one. I have no answer for these ....

thankyou jamieandhismagictorch nice to know am not the only one!!!