DD 3 year old scared of unfamiliar toilets

[pigletmania]

Help my dd 3 is not yet toilet trained but shows some signs of readiness, she askes to sit on the toilet at home or at her godparents house and shows interest. DD has just started her new nursery yesterday, the teachers tried to take her to the toilet and she screamed and cried and they could not. I would like her to get used to them becasue I plan to take away the nappies in a couple of months time once she is settled there and weather is warmer, how do I encourage her to use the nursery toilet or other toilets she is not familiar with without her crying and refusing to go into them. This might be a problem once she starts PT and has to use different toilets.

Its the cubicaled toilets like public toilets or toilets in centres or buildings that she does not like the most.

Perhaps leave the nursery toilets until she's settled in a bit, then ask the staff to show her the loos without any pressure to use them? Not wanting to use strange loos is very common, I think; probably all you can do is try to be very relaxed about it. If you can get over this hurdle without too much stress, she might be better when she moves on.

Thank you Lemon the nursery staff said that they wont push and will never force so just to wait a bit.

I just want her to get used to them so when the time comes for her to be PT then she will like to use the toilet and not be scared.

I know; I'm sure it'll come.

What's PT?

potty training

As she settles into nursery and makes friends it is more than likely she will go to the toilets there because her friends do.

Can she explain what she doesn't like about strange toilets in general? With DS it was hand-driers - he found the noise terrifying. When I finally worked out that was what the problem was, DH managed to rationalise him through it (don't ask me how - some man to man talk about how they worked or something - for some bizarre reason, scary stuff is OK once Daddy says it is ).

Doh!

Good point about the hand driers - my daughter was scared of them too.

I am in the same situation with my dd (4yrs) she will only use the toilet at home , in her nans & in pre-school no where else , so if we go shopping she will refuse to use the toilets & hold on until we get home which often means having to cut the shopping trips short to rush home even though i make sure she goes to the toilet before leaving the house . She is due to start big school in September & i am worried that she will not use the toilets there .

DD is the same and I am having problems as she holds it in at school so generally wets herself on the way home. For her it is partially being scared of the sound of flushing which DH helped with by opening the cistern and showing her the mechanism working. She also seems worried by privacy and the toilets for reception are unisex so not sure if that is also a problem. Nice to know we are not alone but can't help you much as I am struggling with this too - the accidents on school days are a problem that I am struggling to deal with tbh

It's all too common - my 12 year-old hurtles through the front door and straight into the downstairs loo every afternoon.

Nikki - could you go back into school in the afternoon with your child and accompany her to the toilet before you go home? Then she'd avoid accidents, and you might be able to desensitize her a bit.

lemonmeringue - that was me at 12 - I hated the loos at school.

I agree absolutely - Nikki if you go with her will she use the loos at school (especially as they are presumably quiet at home time?)

Thanks for all your advice, dd cannot stand handdryers in toilets she hates them, aswell as hairdryers though she let me dry her hair last night which was good. No her speech is not yet at the level where she can tell me why, i am hoping that it will develop in time as she goes to the nusery full time now.

I dont think she likes cubicles and the door being closed, dd would prefer it not to be closed. i think that when she sees all the other big boys and girls going she will eventually like them and ask to sit on them.