17 Week old detests his buggy. Phase? Any advice for an in arms baby much appreciated.

[ButtonNosedBaby]

Recently my 17 week old DS screams when he's put in his buggy and it's become a nightmare.

Last week I went to visit my parents who live across town, my DS screamed on the bus and then the underground for 2 hours. Usually when he cries I pick him up, I don't let him cry for long but when you have a young child in a buggy plus several bags things can become a little trying.
I then had to go shopping for food, he screamed so much at the supermarket that he attracted the attention of the security guard who called me a bad mother.
My parents say he's spoilt and I carry him too much.
Since then DS has to be taken everywhere in his carrier, which is fine for a short time but then it becomes back breaking.

DS's sleep has also been disturbed. At about the same time as the buggy crying he also wakes up every 2 hours screaming (he was previously a good sleeper who only woke once to feed and would fuss not scream.He is breastfed and we co-sleep)
I'm sure sleep deprivation isn't helping me.

Other than that he's happy in himself.
I'm hoping that this is a phase.
Anyone else with a 'in arms baby'
Advice please.

My ds was exactly the same, hated his buggy and the car seat. Hated anything other than being carried around in my arms, didn't even let me sit down with him. I can't really give any advice other than they do grow out of it, eventually! Hopefully for you it will be a hort lived phase. For my ds it was from the minute he was born until he was a year old and he could walk. He would tolerate the buggy from about 10 months but it was a constant struggle of passing him snacks and toys to distract him all the time.

He isn't spoilt. He is a tiny baby who needs his mummy to hold him when he cries. Forget about any comments people make about your parenting... all babies are different and they all need whatever it is they are crying for at this age. It doesn't mean he will grow up to be clingy or spoilt in any way, just means he will feel secure and probably make him more confident in the long run.

For us, we kept journeys and trips out to a minimum unless I carried him, try to go out with friends or family who can help with carrying him wen he gets too heavy! Me and DH used to take it in turns. It was hard though, especially seeing everyone elses babies happily gurgling in their pushchairs.

I am shocked that the security guard said you were a bad mum! I would be complaining to the supermarket if he'd said that to me. No one has the right to make such a ridiculous assumption. My ds ALWAYS screamed round the supermarket unless I carried him so I did just that and carried him til he was confident walking round.

The sleep thing could be a growth spurt or maybe start of teething, or maybe just a phase, they all go through annoying things and stages where they are more demanding and sleep gets disturbed. I know that doesn't help you much though, you must be knackered!

Anywaym just to give you some hope, ds was a complete velcro baby, would never entertain himself or be put down without fussing. He's now the most independant little 2.7 yr old who rarely cries or needs cuddles (in fact I have t oask him for cuddles now and he normally says 'I'm just a bit busy at the moment mummy!').

It will be fine. It will pass. x

I have a 21wk old just like this - and am also doing my back in carrying him!

I am in the process of investigating a back sling and am attending a meeting of my local sling library this Friday to borrow a sling to try out. Do you have anything similar nearby?

I'm just accepting that carrying is going to be the way forward for quite some time and find a way to make it easier for both of us! I also need him on my back as I have a 21 mth old toddler who is getting quite jealous of the amount of time I spend holding his brother .

He's not spoilt! He's just a baby who needs the security of being held.

Try a wrap sling, a million times better for your back and leaves both hands free. this link might be useful.

It does pass, DS was exactly the same and it was a slog but they grow out of it and become more independent with time. Dependency on you is normal at this age.

Sling, sling, sling! I would think about an Ergo for the future or a slightly less stretchy wrap sling. Think of it as an opportunity for constant cuddles. Make the most of it as I've found carried children are less clingy later on...

I too had a LO exactly the same I though it was the pram so bought a new but it was the child! Anyway my life saver was a sling too, I would do the washing up with him in it and go for walks .. I agree to although he can be shy at times he isn't really clingy at all now

Thank you very much everyone.

My ds also doesn't like his car seat meandjoe he's exactly like yours was.The car seat thing started when he was much younger (probably a glimpse of things to come)

I shall be looking to buy a more comfortable sling.
I'll try the Ergo. Thank you for the suggestion wahwah.

It sometimes seems like your child is the only one going through this (don't know any others)
All my friends have content buggy children.
It's great to hear that there are others and their dc do become more independent with time.
For now I'll just have to carry him.

My DS is also not fond of his buggy, but fortunately we have the option of having it rear-facing and he tolerates it much better when he can see me. I also use a sling, though he is sadly getting a bit too big for the stretchy Moby wrap - was fab while it lasted though. We have a Connecta (soft structured carrier) to move on to.

Lionstar, have you tried the Connecta yet? That's the one I'm thinking of trying and wondered how you found it?

My 6 month old is the same, he grunts if i dare stop pushing it. If he's tired he'll grunt the whole way too till i pick him up.

Car seat is much the same, but i have been reassured by many people that as soon as he moves into the forward facing one he will love it (heres hoping)!

I have read on here before that as soon as the babies become mobile they are much happier and enjoy a little rest in the buggy, rather than feeling restrained.

Good luck, just wanted to let you know you're not the only one. My friends babies are also happy and content so i know how dis-heartening it can be

My DD is now a year old and not too far off walking and I wish that we had never bought a buggy. It is probably the least used item of baby kit we have. She has recently started not minding being in it too much, but I don't like it now- she seems so far away, I can't talk to her properly or tell exactly what is going on with her. I say embrace the carrying! I second an Ergo- she practically lived in ours till she was 7 8months. The baba sling has come back into it's own since she started wanting to see what was going on though, as you can carry on your hip with it. Good luck!

Funnily enough I do own a baba sling (forgotten along with newborn things) but ds didn't like it after he was around 8 weeks.He looked uncomfortable scrunched up in it and would cry.
I'm going to dig it out to see if it'll help.

I'm actually dreading tomorrow as we're going for lunch with another mummy friend.
We're meant to go shopping for post pregnancy clothes.
Now I won't be able to try any clothes on.
I'm destined to live in leggings and baggy tops.
I don't even own a coat that fits

Never mind, I'll just have to see my ds behaviour as an investment for the future and forever be brushing crumbs out of his hair

I would agree with the others re wrap slings but also it might be useful just sometimes to find a way for him to be happy in the buggy. Where does he sleep in the daytime for example?

Is he lying flat in the buggy? If so, have you tried propping him up a bit higher than is strictly proper at his age?

DS2 was mostly carried and screamed if laid flat on his back, but sometimes, with DS1 in play etc he just HAD to go in the buggy. He ended up sitting bolt upright in the front of a Phil & Ted's - definitely not for under 6 months - at 12 (count'em) weeks old. Not all the time, but if he was truly miserable in the back.

He had a bit of silent reflux, I now think and the vertical position was better for him than flat on his back. Also very interested in outside world.

Have you tried giving him a toy or two to hold when he's in the buggy. Those linky rings or little wooden men are v. popular with the tinies.

Will he take a dummy or one of your slightly stinky t-shirts to snuggle with?

Just wanted to suggest some slightly less back-breaking options for you to try...

Thanks specialmagicalady.
I've tried ds in different buggy positions(we've got a convertible travel system) put toys given him toys and still he screams.
I've also tried a dummy, he just spits it out.

I've come to the conclusion that he is a 'peoples person'
Hopefully it's just a phase (fingers crossed)

Yes, agree with everyone - get a better sling. I carried dd all day at that age (chasing after a toddler). I've used a didymos woven wrap, mei tai and ergo. With a woven wrap you should still be able to comfortably carry him on your front at this age, if you are not ready for a back carry yet.

It is much easier clothes shopping with a baby in sling than a baby in a buggy. You usually can't fit a buggy into a change room (at least not here), but you can take a baby into the room in the sling and then put them on the ground, either on your coat, the sling or take a cloth especially, depending on how fussed you are about dirty floors.

DD is 15 months and still doesn't like the buggy much. But she will happily sit in a trolley and if I'm not in a hurry she will walk next to me. If I am in a hurry she goes in the ergo or the buggy, depending on what I have to do.

spongebrain yes I love the Connecta, I used it for DD who is now 3 (she can still go in it if necessary). The babies seem really comfortable in it, and it is soft enough to roll up reasonably small so it is portable and great for holidays. The one I have is an old style one though and the fabric is fairly heavy so it can get a bit hot. The only real downside to them is that you can't use them for a hip carry - but I have a pouch sling that works for that.

Thanks Lionstar, that's really helpful .

Yes - the sling is the way forward. You never see a baby fussing in a sling, but you'll see/hear plenty of screaming pushchairs! You could think about a back-carry sling, as I'd imagine at 17 weeks ds is quite heavy.

Also, YOU ARE NOT SPOILING HIM. This is a real generational thing - you may have to explain that all the research supports what you're doing and how bad it is for babies to be forced to 'get used to being on their own'!