4 Month Old wants to feed all night - any advice?

[Bugsymum]

Hi All

I am a first time mum and completely new to this discussion forum, so please bear with me!

My little boy is four months old and seems to want to feed or comfort on my breast a lot during the night. He has never slept for longer than a couple of hours at a time and has always fed quite often so I don't think this is due to a growth spurt.

His best sleep is when he goes down to bed between 7 - 8 and he will sleep for about 3 hours though often wakes in between that time and my husband or I need to go and settle hime. I feed him when he wakes around 11 and he will then go to sleep for another one and a half or two hours. From about 1.30, his sleeping seems light and he tends to end up in our bed as he wants to feed at least every hour and sometimes he is just soothing on me and not sleeping and would stay latched on for hours! If I don't let him, he will scream. We recently tried my husband trying to get him to sleep when he woke in the middle of the night and we knew he wasn't hungry but after he screamed for almost two hours, I gave in and once he was at my breast for a few minutes, he fell asleep!

This can mean me holding him for 4 - 5 hours at night while he feeds and soothes on me and I don't know how to break this.

He has only ever been breastfed and refuses to take a bottle or soother.

Has anyone else expereinced this? Should I let him have this comfort?

We also rock him to sleep or sometimes he falls asleep when feeding because he will not sleep in his cot on his own and I think he is still too young to try any sleep training methods - do you agree?

Also, during the day, he will only sleep in my arms, in the car or his pram. When he is laid in his cot asleep during the day, he wakes up after about five minutes.

I'd really appreciate any advice that anyone may have as four months of sleep deprivation is starting to take its toll!

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Hi

Might be useful to post in Sleep and Breastfeeding topics as well but hopefully you will get responses here too.

It sounds like you're having a really rough time and I just wanted to say something sympathetic because we had rough sleep with DS for such a long time and I know what hell it is!

Re the day sleep, I wouldn't worry too much on how he sleeps as long as he does. Is he getting a reasonable amount of sleep in the day, in the various places?

Your nights sound very tough. There is a horrible sleep regression and growth spurt at 4 months but you say he has always been a rubbish sleeper, so a couple of things...

Could he possibly have reflux, has that been checked out? Or, have you tried cranial osteopathy? Seemed to help a lot for us with DS.

Have you tried expressing and giving him a bottle for his last feed. He might be able to sleep a little longer if he has a good feed.

Sleep training is not a nice term. But you do need to teach him to go to sleep on his own without the associations of breastfeeding or rocking and they are never too young for that. It is beneficial for baby and parents.

I have found that the best method for my little girl (now 8 months old) was the pick up put down soothing method. If she cries in her cot, I pick her up to my shoulder, soothe her, but without any rocking only a little patting on the back. Once she has settled down I put her in her cot while still awake. I stay with her and rub or pat her back or whatever works for your baby. Eventually as they get more used to falling asleep on their own you can do less patting etc. If she cries again I pick her up and repeat the process. As this would be very new to your baby it may take many attempts and a few nights. My daughter is used to this and I very rarely have to use it any more as she is quite good at going off to sleep on her own, unless she has become a bit overtired for her day time naps. The whole idea is that he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own because babies will always wake in the night, usually stiring every 2-3 hours, and if you have created sleep associations such as rocking or feeding then he won't be able to settle back to sleep on his own, he will need you.

Sorry for the long explanation, but I hope it helps. I'm not a believer in controlled crying so would never leave baby to cry it out.

Hi Itinierclanger

Thank you so much for responding so quickly. I don't think he has reflux and haven't tried the cranial osteopathy as he was born by c-section so ruled this out.

Thanks also for advising me to post in the other section, really appreciate it.

Just let him sleep in your bed, he is only little. Plenty of time to get him sleeping in a cot/bed when he is older.

Irons - thank you for your reply and explanation. I know I do need to get him to sleep on his own and hadn't really started this yet as he gets himself really worked up when put into his cot even if I stay with him and hold his hand etc so I thought maybe he was still a bit young.

We go on holiday next week for a fortnight so perhaps I will focus on this when we return home. Thanks again.

Sleep is a really active topic on here, you will get a lot of different perspectives.

The main thing is to find a solution that works for you all. If sleeping together works, that might be the way to go. It does sound like you're not getting much rest though, so maybe more than that is needed.

But my feeling is don't worry too much about habits etc. If you can get him, and therefore you all, to get more sleep by some method, then when he's a bit older and you're all a bit more rested, you can work on other things later.

However, I know there are different opinions on the whole self-soothing business. I just mean don't worry about that too much right now if you're just finding it too tough, if you can find some other way to get him to sleep better. But Irons explanation is a helpful one of how to do it if you're all ready to give it a try.

They do all eventually sleep better as they get older anyway, but that's not much comfort when you're going through it!