Would you consider this behaviour as fairly normal for a 4 year old or should we seek medical advice?

[suiledonne]

DD1 will be 4 in May.

I would consider her to be a nervous child. I ama nervous person and had PND and anxiety after her birth so perhaps some of this is my fault.

We have been dealing with it in an 'easy does it' sort of way, not pushing her too hard put encouraging her.

We thought these were things she would grow out of but if anything she is worse now than when a toddler.

She hates loud noise and totally freaks out about certain sounds.

We were getting some work done in our bathroom which involved the use of a high pitched noisy tool for a matter of 2 minutes. DD went to sleep with her hands over her ears and woke up that way still distressed hours later. DD2 who is 16 months was not bothered by it at all.

We had to leave the park this morning as she couldn't stand the noise the crows were making squawking in the trees. DD2 and the other children seemed oblivious.

She hates car/truck horns and asks me constantly if we go somewhere 'will there be trucks?'.

There are loads more of these noise issues that would take too long to described.

She also has issues with clothes.

Will not wear jeans or any stiff fabric. Hates new clothes and would prefer to be wearing as little as possible.

Always pushes her sleeves up regardless of the temeperature.

Is very particular about her socks, prefers bare feet.

Still hates hair brushing, face washing etc.

If it were up to her she would spend all day every day at home.

She started pre-school last September but because of health reasons (she has asthma and had 3 hospital stays within a 6-week period) we decided to withdraw her until this year.

I am just wondering if most children her age have these sort of fears and issues or should we talk to someone about her?

Thanks

If you are concerned you really need to talk to someone. I had concerns with DS and had to talk the doctor unfortunately they did not want to listen for some time.

I'm probably not a good person to say whether these are common reactions as DS has been diagnosed with ASD.

Good luck. xxx

Is there a GP at your local practice that you find sympathetic? When booking your appointment, mention to the receptionist that it's about your little girl and it's a difficult subject, and you could ask for a 'double slot' so that you have more time to discuss the issue. Think about what you want to say and the questions you want to ask and write them down, so that you don't forget them. I know sometimes when I talk with my GP my brain turns to jelly and I can never remember everything I wanted to say.

Think about what you would like to 'get' from the appointment. A referral to a psychologist? To a specialist pediatrician?
Some general guidance as to how to deal with this?

Good luck
BPxx

It sounds like you just have a very sensitive child. Apparently some people do just have heightened senses. I don't know much about it but my dd (also 4) sounds fairly similar in many ways.

She hates loud noises - I can't take her to the cinema as it's too loud. Hates having her hair brushed. Is very particular about what she wears etc.

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with her but would be interested in what a gp/specialist told you.

There is something called 'auditory dysfunction' which I think is more a cluster of sensitivties to sound than a 'condition'. It basically means that the 'sufferer' is highly sensitive to, and often afraid of, certain sounds.

It can' be part of a condition called sensory processing disorder, which in itself can^ be related to certain autistic spectrum disorders.

It is worth getting a referral from your GP to have your DD assessed.

It may well be part and parcel of growing up - small children can channel their anxieties into all sorts of weird and wonderful fears and behaviours. But if you are worried, it is always best to seek advice, if only for the purpose of reassurance that it is a phase that will pass and/or some practical tips on supporting your DD through her fears.

My DS has lots of sensory and auditory sensitivities and other AS traits. My DD does too. I think that there are A LOT of children who have real problems with all sorts of odd things - clothing, bathing, school, loud noises, odd noises etc. I thinik some childrens problems are severe enough and distressing enough and impact upon their lives severly enough to need support and intervention. I also think that it is possible to fit almost any child into an ASD if you wanted to and that there is a danger of medicalising our childrens idiosyncrasies if we are not careful. I suppose it is worth considering what would you like the outcome to be if you saw a health professional - what are you asking of them. I suspect that if you went through a class of 30 in reception then quite a few would have similar difficulties to your DD.

Thanks everyone. Definitely some food for thought here.

DH thinks we should wait til she re-starts pre-school and see how she gets on then. He thinks the daily exposure to a noisy busy place could help her.

I am worried though that she won't settle in pre-school because of her fears/nervousness.

I am torn about what to do.

She has eczema/asthma/food allergies and has seen many doctors and had numerous hospital stays which really upset her so I am reluctant to put her through that unless necessary.

What would you think of discussing it with the pre-school and use their professional opinion to decide - they will have seen a lot of 4 year olds and might be able to be more objective about things?

Or is this too much to expect of them?

I don't know. I am so confused. She is a lovely, bright, talkative little girl and I worry about her not enjoying life.

She is my daughters at 4, rolled into one.

The older one wouldn't wear new clothes, wouldn't wear anything with a waistband (was in leggings for years), wouldn't wear embroidered tops if she could feel the stitching on the back of the fabric (curable with a vest), etc. She also had eczema at that age and I think that not feeling irritated by her clothes was of great importance to her. She is now 12, and doesn't have any problems with new clothes (!) but still hates wearing tights, certain fabrics, and would always choose comfort over fashion (believe me, at 12 that's a good thing).

The younger one was very sensitive to sound, very much as you describe. She started ballet lessons at 3, and almost collapsed when the pianist played a little grumbly sound on the lower keys. The teacher kindly suggested that this might mean she was very musical. It's not particularly true, though she likes music, but your daughter might enjoy soft and pleasant sounds to the same degree that she hates loud and ugly ones.

She's still not wild about really noisy environments, but it hasn't been a significant problem at school. It was a nuisance when she was younger, but we tried not to force her into situations that frightened her, stayed with her at parties and so on, and she has gradually grown out of her fears. It's definitely worth discussing at pre-school, so that they are sensitive to the fact that she might want to bow out of certain activities.

Whether you need more help than that - I don't know. It's never occurred to me that these issues might be more than a lttle child's foibles, but if your child's anxiety is acute, or yours is, it is worth discussing it with a sympathetic GP.

I'm not sure that preschool would be able to give you a useful opinion - I think it's more worth trying to get a referral from your GP for a specialist assessment - they'll be best placed to tell you.

As mackerel says, there are so many things that a lot of people have to some degree, but which for a few people make life difficult to the degree that some help with it is a good thing. I don't think the school would be able to pinpoint that.

If the outcome is that she would have some occupational therapy to help ensure that she's able to settle happily into preschool, then I think that would be a valid one. Better to have gradual exposure to stimuli through OT than all at once at preschool, maybe.