ultra-clingy 15mo - advice needed

[edithpoppy]

hello - just wondered if anyone else has similar experiences to mine. My DD is so clingy to me. I can't put her down on the floor to play without her screaming. When i leave the room she screams. We went to a playgroup this morning with her 4 yr old brother and i couldn't do anything with him as she wanted to be in my arms the whole time.

I never had this with DS - he was a nervous baby, but he went to a childminder and so was quite confident about not being with me.

Am i doing something wrong? She's a bottom shuffler and so is not walking, or even pulling herself up yet, so she's limited in that sense.

If I'm not around she's happy to pootle with her dad. But the minute i enter the room she shuffles over to me and is pulling on my trouser leg and crying.

I was so upset this morning, as I feel my DS is missing out on time with me, and the clock is ticking with him as he starts school in Sept. I don't have any family or friends nearby who can take DD for me either and we can't really afford childcare.

Can anyone suggest anything? Or tell me I'm not alone/a rubbish parent???? x

You are not alone and are certainly NOT a rubbish parent!!

My DD1 has just turned 2 but was exactly the same as your DD from the age of about 12 months to 15ish months. I had to sit on the floor and play with her, and if I so much as STOOD UP without even walking away she would scream bloody murder. I found it incredibly stressful and frustrating. I solved it by putting her with a childminder for 1 afternoon a weeks from when she turned 15 months (the clinginess was the main reason along with falling pregnant with DD2) to help her learn that the world wouldn't end if mummy was out of sight for a few hours. We had lots of settling in sessions, and it did take time, but she loves it there now and would prefer to be there than at home with boring old mummy!!

I know you say you can't afford childcare, but I pay £16 a week for a 4 hour session.........it would honestly be worth it just to give you a break........people underestimate how upsetting and stressful the clinginess can be, especially of you have more than one child to care for.

hello heth1980
thank you so much for your response. it does make sense to find a way of getting her to settle with mummy being away. did you find that the child minder helped with the shouting when you are around - did she start to settle being in your company, but not necessarily having one on one play or you being on the floor with her?

the other day i gave in trying to do anything, and got on the floor to play with her, and that wasn't enough, she started trying to climb on top of me!

i absolutely adore her and i love cuddling her (my son was mr independent at this age and wasn't really into cuddles)but I need to have some time when i can put her down in the same room as me and she does her thing while I do mine (which mostly would be my trying to play with my son).

sorry to ramble. just had one of those days with it :-)