Testosterone in 6yo boy?

[JustMoon]

My DS has been really playing up this last week or so, being really rude and defiant and stroppy almost like a teenager. My sis thinks maybe it is a testosterone thing, does anyone know anything about this?

I think it's a 6 year old boy in Spring time thing.

The days are getting longer and brighter, he wants to be out and about in the fresh air. Has bad weather constrained him recently?

Don't think it's that, normally have to drag him outside (although he enjoys it once he's out). He seems a bit distant too. It's making me sad as we just seem to be telling him off all the time. I reminded him again tonight how much I love him as I don't want him to think that his behaviour is all we see IYKWIM?

There was a program on tv about different behaviour in boys and girls that said about a testosterone surge in young boys. I thought it was younger than 6, but not sure.

I thought it was normally between 4-5 but I don't recall him ever being like that (he's quite a softy really) -is it possible that he's just a late starter? He hasn't lost any teeth yet either!

I think they have testosterone surges during growth spurts. DS (nearly 6) has 2 or 3 horrible weeks every few months! The really vile behaviour stops as suddenly as it starts - very weird!

Oh that may be it then Swill, he's probably due a growth spurt. He is telling whopping lies at the moment too.

MY ds is nearly six and has been doing exactly the same thing. In fact Mother's Day was horrible as we had a row in the morning over what he wanted to wear which ended with him in tears and then later in the afternoon he got really stroppy and ended up screaming at me with me in tears. He does seem to do this every few months and it seems to be calming down now. The worse thing is when he gets cross he looks just like me!

Hello - I'm having exactly the same with ds1 who is also 6. He's a nice boy, quite self sufficient, bright, etc but he has become very rude and disrespectful. He also seems really miserable which saddens me so much.
He had a huge meltdown yesterday and was so defiant and rude and i literally had to drag him up the stairs. it was horrible but it feels a bit like a battle of wills lately.
He had proper testosterone surges when he was 4 and they were like rages. What he has now is more like kevin the teenager!
sending you love and patience!!
hoping it will pass.
xx

Thanks Susimum and notso, your two sound exactly like mine! It is making me really sad (mothers day was rubbish here too!). It is a battle of wills and we have had the massive meltdowns too. He is doing it at other peoples houses which then just adds embarassment into the mix too!!

I am wondering today whether there might be an element of attention seeking in it (particularly due to the lying episodes which were quite specific about doing something well)? He has a younger brother who is getting lots of praise for potty training at the moment and who has also been a bit poorly so getting lots of cuddles - do you think it could be that?

Just Moon - I've been getting it on and off for the last couple of years with my DS (7). They go from the lovely lovable cuddly boy to playing rough, rude etc. It will pass, but it will happen again! His mates are exactly the same.

There probably is an element of attention seeking due to the younger brother too for you.

Singlemum so this is what I have to look forward to? Oh pants . At least I am not alone, thanks for making me realise he is just being a normal 6 yo boy.

Yep! But the weeks when they're lovely and cuddly makes it all worthwhile! I reckon its just good practice for when they hit 13!

definitely think he could be jealous (yes that old chestnut!). We tried to boost ds2's confidence (he is 4 and half) by praising him for his dancing and ds1 would straight away try to dance and would always want praise. if we didn't immediately give it he would start to sabotage the whole activity!

with ds1, he is so capable that he gets frustrated when a) people can't see how amazing he is! or b) he thinks someone is better than him. The downside of being a perfectionist, I fear. Whereas my ds2 is much more laid back, doesn't seem to notice/care if anyone is better than him.

I hope your ds1 is having a better time. I felt I had to stop hanging out with lots of people cos ds1 was such a pain, he would always tell everyone else how crap they were at things and say he was bored the whole time. I got sick of my voice and just wanted to go home. you end up resenting them and then they feel that dislike towards them which i feel reinforces their bad attitude (as they feel rejected).

god, no-one tells you all this before you have kids!!

thinking of you! glad I'm not alone - your message really helped me thru a difficult couple of days. thanksx

Hi Notsoladyjess, despite it being horrible there is some strength in knowing you're not on your own. Raising children is such a minefield!

DS1 is quite scathing of DS2s abilities (despite only being 2.6!) and regularly contradicts him or spoils his imaginary fun so I am becoming more convinced about the jealousy.

I have made a concerted effort not to shout at him this week (despite being driven nuts on occassion!) and trying to give him more attention / praise and I think it has paid off a bit. He also had a superstar assembly today at school which we went to and gave him lots of praise for his good work - we may take him to the zoo as a treat if the weather holds up for the weekend.

I like the surges idea though as it gives me an excuse.
DS has been lovely today after a couple of weeks of pure evil!!! I cried 3 times last week due to his behaviour, then twigged I had vile PMS ... not a good combination!!!

ahh, glad you had a better few days Justmoon. we went to a wedding this weekend without dss and my mum and sister looked after them. came back to reports of ds1 telling my mum to f off!!! she is convinced he cannot regulate himself, that he hates if things do not go his way. she said we give him no structure and i have come away feeling like a complete failure (again!).
and i have pms (well either that or im up the duff (please lord tell me it's not true!!!).
hoping next week is better. tried to talk to dh and he says there's nothing wrong with ds1.
sorry what a rant. just had enough!
x

Notso, that's awful! You poor thing! There's nothing worse than criticism when you're already feeling crap about things - how about she offer you some constructive help instead??

Has your DS got something you can negotiate with? I have been using DSs Nintendo DS this week as a threat bargaining tool. Normally DH let's him play it whenever and I removed it completely this week and told him he had to earn it back by good behaviour. When he has started to play up I have just referred to the DS and he stops and thinks! We were at mums today and the behaviour was better than last week, still not perfect (can they ever be?) but I am feeling my way through it. He actually ate all his dinner without fuss today- I nearly cried with joy!

I hope things improve (and hope it's just pms if that's what you would prefer - seems a running theme with you and swill!), let me know how you're going.
X

I just googled testosteone in 6 year old boys and found this thread. My son (turned 6 in Feb) is so angry at the moment it's got to the point that I can't even be cross with him, I just want to offer him a cuddle to try help him get through it, because he seems to have been possessed by devils.

Obviously my offers of cuddles have been shot down in flames. Everything is stupid or boring and wrong. He kicks things around, throws things, slams doors, yells, bursts into tears and sulks. It's a joy.

I am just hoping 'it's a phase' and it will pass. sigh.

Ooh that's scary, that you googled and this came up. I didn't realised that happened [thicko emoticon].

Welcome joshandjamie! Come and join our woefulness at out sons behaviour. I think we have come to the conclusion that it's probably not testosterone but just a combination of factors of being a six year old boy (and mums having pms! ).

I am finding that blackmail bartering is helping me a lot at the moment, and also lots of positive praise (which is very hard when they are acting like this). I thought we were doing quite well but on Monday after school he was like someone had given him speed! He was almost manic, at first it was just loud and funny but it soon turned angry. Also had a bit of a meltdown at bathtime last night, which me and DH tried really hard not to shout about and eventually it was calmed down through lots of reassurance and cuddles. It has improved a bit but when it kicks off you certainly know about it and it's exhausting.

I hope things improve for you - try and have patience even when you want to scream the house down!

justmoon - I also found this in my search
childparenting.about.com/od/childdevelopment/a/sixyearoldhome_2.htm

I found it fascinating: they say six year olds always have to be right, as it's part of their way to define themselves. That's certainly something we're experiencing. It means that they blame everyone else for anything that goes wrong, they lie and they cheat.

I feel a bit better knowing why he's behaving this way

Well that sums up DS1 perfectly! I could be in the next room and if something happens to him it will be my fault. And as said in my earlier post, we have had some whoppers of lies recently and all told with the most convincing voice and face.

Thing is, I have this at the same time as a 2.6 yo going through his terrible twos big stylee! I think he is learning from his older brother!!

Just found this thread, know its old but it is exactly what I'm experiencing. It is exhausting. Helpful to know that I am not alone.

Just found this thread, know its old but it is exactly what I'm experiencing. It is exhausting. Helpful to know that I am not alone.