Ds1 constantly scratches ds2 HELP!!

[Snowfun]

Ds1 aged 4 is constantly scratching ds2 aged 2.4. Its deliberate and he knows exactly what he's doing. He does it when I'm in the room or out. Ds2s face is convered in scratch marks some really angry red ones sometimes he bleeds. Its awful. It may be mothers day but today I feel like the worlds worst mummy!

BUMP!

What do you do when he does this at the moment?

Try to tell him off but he usually shouts and screams to drown my voice out. I also remove him from the room or when he started doing this when they were in the bath tonight bath time ended immediately.

bump

I've been through this with ds and dd (16 months apart). We had biting and scratching too. It stopped eventually but before that dd started doing it back to ds. I did exactly what you do and removed them from the room. It went on for ages. They are totally devoted to each other now and play like little angels except when ds is tired he will still bash dd. I don't remember when it stopped but it did. Neither has ever done it to any other child .

Sorry, went off to bed last night!
I think you need to stop trying to tell him off, so he doesn't get the chance to drown you out (little monkey!)

I think you are doing the rights things, apart from that. Remove him from the room, and yes end things like the bath straight away

My view on behavioural things is that you can still be doing it right, even if it's not working immediately! Frustrating, but true imo. Often I think it's easy to think things aren't working, and then cast around trying 10 different strategies which just serve to confuse the issue and weaken the message you're trying to give.

i think it's about being totally consistent in your approach. Kids just need that time to learn. At the moment your DS still has a huge drive to act impulsively and he acts on the spur of the moment without considering things as an adult would. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong, he's very normal.

Also I think you have to play the cards you are dealt; you obviously need to leave them alone together as little as possible; I guess you should be able to bathe them together, or put the kettle on while they play in the other room but behaviour probs can make you very pragmatic; you just have to deal with the situation you have, not the situation you thought you would have, or should have...iyswim.

oh, and keep his nails really, really short!!!

thanks for the advice! It was awful taking ds2 out today with all his sratch marks on his face. I heard one little girl say mummy that little boy had chicken pox! My mum also keeps saying I've got to stop him or people will start to think he's being abused! However ds1 doesn't go to preschool on Mondays so we were all together all day today and apart from afew incidences that I nipped in the bud today was alot better!

snowfun, we had this a little bit with ds1 and ds2. not scratching, but some quite unpleasant behaviour.

In the end I just took to not leaving them alone together.

If ds2 was playing and I needed to cook dinner then I used to make ds1 come with me. he often protested at this, and I just said to him that if he kept hurting his brother then I couldn't leave him with him, so he woul dhave to come with me and sit in the kitchen or wherever,

i have no idea if it helped, but things have improved over the last year or so (ds1 is 5 now)

Yes I try not to leave them alone aswell at the moment I've been taking ds2 with me when I'm doing dinner etc but now I'm thinking that probably isn't fair bless him!