4 year old and a bossy temper

[queenrollo]

DS is 4.....a very energetic and happy boy. generally a joy to be with.

Just lately he's started getting very stroppy! Just now for example he's heard my OH go upstairs into his bedroom and is now shouting at me 'i don't WANT him upstairs! Tell him to come down NOW'

We're going to my mum's after lunch to stay the night. He's very eager to go.....and has demanded to have his lunch NOW! I've explained we can't go until this afternoon because that is the arrangement and he has growled and shouted 'HAH' in my face.

I've walked away from him several times this morning because i just can't reason with him.

Then he will be all snuggly and cuddly and declaring how much he loves me.

I have shared custody with his dad and his behaviour has been the same there too. We deal with him the same way in both households so there is continuity of discipline.

He seems to get so wound up about what seem to be silly things, little flashes of temper.
I'm presuming this is just normal 4 year old behaviour, but this morning i am tired and finding him very hard work indeed.

I just want some reassurance that this is a phase and if i stick to my boundaries we'll come out the other side of this and back to (relative) peace and quiet.

You have answered your own questions, this is a phase and if you stick to your boundaries he will come out the other side. He is trying to show who is boss.. Maybe take him for half hour somewhere with you or with OH so attention for him is not divided .. He maybe feeling a little insecure.

this started a few weeks ago and so since then i have restructured the days with him so that we do far more attentive stuff with him......painting and sticking for example, getting messy with him rather than just setting the table up and supervising while we get on with other jobs.

We are Home Schooling so we do lots of activities together as it is but i suppose he's just needing a little more attention at the moment. Thinking about it we've had friends here two weekends out of four and they have given him lots of attention too so maybe he's been missing that when it's just us three here.
I have him Friday to Monday and so i try and make sure all the chores are out of the way so that at weekends we have lots of time to spend doing stuff with him but at the same time he does know that things like washing the dishes need to be done. I have always tried to include him with household duties, making a game of them and recently he's started helping with the washing up but when he's not in the mood to do it he stands in the kitchen yelling at me while i'm trying to get it done and pulling me away from the sink! It's like having a 2 year old all over again
I am very firm about boundaries with him and it's served me well so far......i'd just forgotten how hard this bit can be!

shall repeat mantra of 'this too shall pass'

(and drink lots of gin )

Message deleted