My dd2 is unhappy in her friendship group at the moment and I'm not sure what to do. She's 9 (Yr 5) and is part of a group of about 10 girls who've been friends since Reception. There have always been nominal pairings within the group but they've all played together well. Over the last year, the pairings have become more pronounced but Dd2's best friend has become more pally with one of the other girls as they go to other clubs together outside school. They are quite wrapped up in each other to the exclusion of the others in the group and I think Dd2 is feeling a bit left out. She is attempting to chum up with the others in the group but there are a couple of other strong characters in there who are also possessive of friendships and there is a certain amount of rebuffing going on. Dd2 is very stoic and not given to complaining or introspection so she hasn't said much, but in what she perceives as unfair situations she can also be fair-minded to the point of being unbearably righteous and I know when this sort of thing happens she gets very frustrated and starts lashing out verbally which won't win her any friends either and I heard a comment about this in the playground this week. Her sister DD1 has always been a good playmate but she is now 13 and more involved with her own friends and is growing up so is not really playing with her so much so I think Dd2 is a bit lonely at the moment.She has asked one or two people for playdates but none of them have been able to make them so this is reinforcing her feelings of exclusion, added to which most of her friends and not her were picked to take part in some mysterious project at school (I don't know what this is other than it involves time out of class and some presentation in assembly). Parents evening is coming up soon and I don't know whether to mention this to her teacher. In other respects she is doing very well at school.
I didn't mean this to be such a long post but it took a bit of explaining!