Weaning has totally stressed me out - need advice please

[Cosywinter]

DD is 6.5 months as is totally refusing to eat anything or even try anything, she is happy to drink her milk but as soon as I try and put the spoon near her mouth she clamps it shut and thrashes her head from side to side to stop me getting near her mouth with it, I've tried different food but she does it will them all. I first tried a week ago and this happened so thought she just wasn't ready and left it a week, have now tried again for the last three days and it's a total no no. I really don't want to do baby led weaning for a few different reasons so just really want her to start trying it. I also have a toddler who was a dream to wean but is a nightmare at eating now and I just can't face battling with two of them about food! Should I leave off for another week and try again or should I persist with the battle and hope she gets the hang of it soon? Really need some advice or encouragement as feel very worn down and stressed out by this. Thanks

she's not interested in finger food either, happily put toys in her mouth but anything edible doesn't get anywhere near her mouth

I'd say leave off - have her sat in her chair playing with toys at the table while you eat - if she shows interest in your food, let her try it! DS1 was never that interested in weaning but a big fan of my toast! DS2 started grabbing my food at 6 months and hasnt stopped since - we did BLW with him and its a lot less stressful than the whole puree experience. If she's still taking lots of milk, she's getting the calories she needs from there - and she'll get the hang of eating eventually.

I agree. Forget her official weaning and just have her in a highchair or on your lap while you eat and see what happens. It doesn't matter if she doesn't eat solids yet.

I agree too! Its not worth getting stressed about at this age, you'll make food a battle and thats hard to break later. I'd put finger food on her high chair tray at some meal times but not expect her to eat it, then she'll show you when she's ready. I found grated cheese was a great first finger food.

Is she manipulating toys well and putting those in her mouth or does she not like anything in her mouth except the milk?

She sucks toys and is happy to put those in her mouth just nothing edible or a spoon - do you think I should just stop for a few days and then try again then? People keep telling me that after 6 months they need food in order to get enough iron.

Cosy I'm afraid I don't have advice as I'm in the same position. DS is just over six months - I've tried making my own purees and shop-bought ones (in case it was the love I put in that he didn't like ) he pushes them all away and screams for boob. I didn't want to do blw either, but I may now rethink as it seems what he really hates is me feeding him - he keeps grabbing the spoon which makes a messy business even messier. But if I let him hold some broccoli he'll stuff it straight in his mouth.

Will watch this thread with interest.

cosywinter, i'd stop for a week or so then try again. Is she bf? If so my hv recomended vitamin syrup. If ff there is quite a lot of iron in it anyway. All these recommended ages are only guidelines, if she looks healthy don't worry.

Vigour, ds1 always wanted his own spoon n would fuss if he didn't have one. You can buy them with a lead that attaches to the tray to stop it being thrown on the floor. This is messy but much more fun for him!

Have you tried giving her something to hold/play with whilst you feed her. My DS had to be busy with his hands to eat so I would give him a spoon/various different kitchen utensils. As time went on, the 'toys' became finger foods like soldiers of toast.

Also, when first weaning, have you tried offering milk first to take the edge off her hunger? As she starts to take more solids, you can decrease the milk (perhaps over two weeks).

Finally, add lots of fruit puree to start - nice and sweet...then you can start adding less fruit as she takes to the solids.

Weaning is so stressful and seems to last forever but do persevere - getting solids in the form of protein is important so it is worth keeping going. Read Gina Ford's book - it is full of really practical, sensible advise, whether you like routine or not.

When all else failed, I found that if I fed my LO out of the house, he was suitably distracted from the confines of the 4 walls of the kitchen and ate much better.

I hope things start to improve

It really doesn't matter if she's not eating yet. My younger daughter wasn't keen on solids until she was around 8 months, and I've known children who haven't really started weaning until 9 months.

Your post reminded me of when I started weaning DS1. I remember crying as he just clamped his mouth shut and refused anything. It took till about 8/9 months really before he was properly interested. He remains a bit of a faddy eater to this day.

I wish I had known then what I know now and that is some babies are just not ready.There is no magic in the 6 month guideline at all.Plus they don't need the food.Milk is sufficient at this point up to about a year I think.

I know you aren't keen on the BLW route but with DS2 this has been a massive success. I haven't felt remotely stressed about weaning this time round, or cried once!!

Try reading Gill Rapleys BLW book. It really opened my eyes.

i can totally empathise, my DS was a nightmare to wean.

He was about 9 months when he got it as well.

What worked for me (eventually!!) was the three spoon technique two for him one for me. He wouldn't let me put the spoon in his mouth at first, so I used to load his spoons and they would eventually go in his mouth and finally he ralised that it tasted nice.

It is so stressful, but if you can try and relax about it.

Have you tried giving her a couple of spoons to play with away from the high chair so that she gets used to the feel of them in her mouth. That way when you do try to feed her the spoon won't be alien to her or something to fear

I'd also completely leave off.

She does not need anything but milk for nutrition until the age of 1 yr old, so really no hurry.

Have her sit with you at the table when you eat, so that she can see what you're doing. If she shows interest, give her a little bit of what you've got to play with and hopefully taste.

But do not worry. My oldest child was very slow to show interest in food and is a healthy, strapping 5 yr old now. In fact, both of my children were much more interested in their milk than in food at that age.

Please can someone explain to me where "babies only need milk till one" comes from? There is a frightening statistic (sorry - don't know it off the top of my head) of anaemic children because milk is not a sufficient source of iron. In addition, the protein from non-meat sources (i.e. dairy and lentils) contains insufficient amino acids which are essential for growth and development. By 6 months, the supply that a baby is born with is all but depleted.

Weaning is extremely frustrating, but it really is worth persevering as from 6 months babies need to be getting vital nutrition from solids.

Sorry if that doesn't sound reassuring, but please keep trying with the weaning.

just marking my place on the thread - weaning not terribly successful here either. DS is all about the boobs!

Addictedtofrazzles - they dont "only need milk till 1" - but if milk is their main source of calories till 1, that is fine. Some babies take a while to get used to the idea of eating solid foods - DS1 certainly did - and I think what the other people on the thread have said to OP is to give herself a break and not get too caught up in weaning stresses, which is good advice (and advice I certainly could have done with when weaning DS1 as it would have (a) stopped our ongoing food battles and (b) not resulted in him being the nightmare with food he then was for the next year or so because of the ongoing weaning food battles - but that is a totally different thread). If you make sure weaning is taken at the baby's pace (and each baby is different) then that can only be a good thing.

But calories from milk is very different from the other (more important, IMO) sources of nutrition from food - such as protein and iron.

I completely agree that weaning can be a nightmare - it is stressful and I didn't enjoy weaning my DS at all. With DC2, I will still persevere but aim not to be stressed about it myself. However, I won't be waiting till they are one to feed them solids.

Yes, erhaps 'only' was wrong. 'Main source of calories' much better choice of words - thanks dinkystinky.

Are you medically qualified?@addicted. Where are the frightening stats on iron deficiency in the UK? Milk is sufficient as the main source of nutrition for most healthy babies in the UK.

'Persisting with weaning' should be about continuing to offer a range of tastes and textures to your baby so that he/she gets used to chewing, swallowing etc. The OP is already doing this. I cannot see what else she can do? Force spoon feed her child?

Weaning is much more successful when led by the child, and I do not say this as some sort of BLW evangelist. I have always offered spoon feeding as an option to my children, too.

If anything, the pressure on parents to wean their babies on to three full meals a day at 6,7,8 mths old months seems to me to be much more problematic than any vitamin-deficiencies caused by lack of calories - at least in twenty first century Britain.

I'm not medically qualified, but took my son to see a paediatric dietician due to silent reflux. She explained that milk is NOT a main source of nutrition after about 6 months. It is 'a' source, with very important nutirents but all baby's needs can not be nutritionally met through milk alone. She explained how iron deficiency was a problem, in part because of the campaign to exclusively breastfeed till 6 months (I am NOT contesting that bf is excellent) and therefore lots of women don't start weaning until well after 6 months when babies need to have substantial protein in their diet.

I am not stating that milk does not contain important calories or that fruit/veg puree etc don't contain vitamins, but saying that it is important to keep persevering with weaning becasue babies do need iron and protein well before they are one.

I really do understand, from experience, the stresses of weaning and shared with the OP some suggestions of how I personally got things to improve when weaning my DS.

Cosy..

I have just tried to wean my DS - 10 months old - with a variety of health issues, none of which are supposed to affect weaning and after 29 weeks of crying, gettng frustrated, feeling guilty, asking so many experts and wanting to run for the hills on a regular basis, I finally spoke to his paed who said, "don't force him" (this I knew) "as it will make the whole experience a negative one". How true.

So, I'm waiting to get to his first birthday with the full support of all his carers (he is fed by tube and always has been so I know he can get the nutrician he needs) and then taking it up a gear. I'll keep offering him a variety of foods but I've stopped beating myself up. If your DD is taking her milk and happy with it, you could try a follow one milk with more iron? Remember, no matter how much pressure you feel, it's not a competion or race to get her weaned. Don't give up but take your time. She'll do it when she's ready no matter what you want!

Go to Change 4 Life's website and look up the banana test! It's fun if nothing else and that will give you guidance as to whether she really is ready.

Good luck.

Sorry if I'm repeating what someone else has put.....haven't got time to read the rest of thread. have you tried offering milk before solids so that she's not starving hungry? If they are too hungry they will demand milk because they can gulp it down quicker and therefore stop the hunger pangs. When I weaned DD1 I used to give her a few ounces of milk before offering the puree. HTH

Just wanted to add that my dd was just the same, eventually she ate the tiniest amount of finger food but still nothing substantial, I used to always put her in her high chair and offer her food from my fork, at about 8 1/2 months she actually opened her mouth and from that moment on eats absolutely everything, I just kept in my mind that she had her calories from milk and tried not to get too stressed, she thrived on milk alone till this age and now she is thriving on her proper food (12 months) hth

I'm not a medical professional but like to be as informed as possible on these subjects.
addictedtofrazzles your comments are not exactly helpful or accurate for that matter. This just shows to me how poorly informed a lot of the so called medical professionals are on this topic especially someone like a dietician who should know better.

The Would Health Organisation recommends that milk should be there exclusive sources of nutrition until 6 months for a reason. Babies can't digest food until at least this age, milk should make up 80% of their diet until 12months. And for all of you worried about Iron intake there is plenty in Brest milk as it's much more easy digested than any other form of Iron and formula is fortified with more for that very reason.

Don't always trust the so called experts they aren't always upto date with their information the WHO have done a lot of research into this and issues the guidelines all countries follow they are the experts.

I wouldn't stress about an infant not being interested in solids at 6months my own DD didn't really take much until 8 months they all start when they are ready. I think you do far more damage trying to force it as you can put them off food and turn meal time into a battle.

This is a useful sources of information although aimed at breastfeeding mums they have the nutritional information which you may find useful www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/index.html