My DS is 4 next month and has violent tantrums. He is generally a lovely little boy who is easy to please and has a sunny disposition. However, if something triggers his tantrums he turns into a violent aggressive little boy with the strength of 10 men. He is normally fine at home, no tantrums or violence but it seems to be when we are out that he really kicks off. He does it to some degree at his nursery but is far worse with me.
We went to town this morning and he needed the toilet so I took him in. When he had finished I wiped his bum and then he started screaming at me. This lasted for about 10 minutes in the toilet whilst i was trying to calm him and then gave him his normal 3 warnings. However he is so involved in his rage that I may as well be speaking a different language. So I took him out with him kicking and screaming and wriggling. He threw his shoes off and then sank his teeth into my arm - my arm now looks I have been savaged by a vicious dog instead of by a small child. I stuggled with him to get him to sit somewhere quietly with me whilst I held him tightly whilst he calmed down. This does always work but it takes a good 20 minutes and it has to be somewhere quiet and as you can imagine, carrying a 40 lbs child thrashing around is not easy. During this time he scratched my neck up (now sporting red streaks down the right side of my neck and face too - argh).
Once he has calmed down he seems to realise what he has done isn't nice behaviour. He apologises to me and becomes very sorry for himself and quiet for the next few hours so it seems like he can understand his behaviour is wrong.
As I said he is fine at home, mostly fine at nursery so why is he like this when we are out? He enjoys going out so it's not that he doesn't want to be there. he gets excited when we are out and always has a nice time so there is no real reason (boredom etc...) for him to start.
How normal are violent tantrums? And if they aren't then who do I speak to and what could be the cause?