3.7 year old behaviour...

[13lucky]

Hi there, wondering whether my dd's behaviour is normal or whether she is ultra difficult. She is 3.7 years and disagrees with EVERYTHING I say or do. Every request is met with such attitude and screaming and shouting. 'No I won't...', 'I'm playing, I can't get dressed now...', 'I don't want to...' etc etc. It is all day everyday at the moment. She's also started calling me 'you silly girl' which is irritating beyond belief! She is 50% of the time nice to her 17 month brother and 50% a horror. A complete Jeckle and Hyde. She can be loving and kind but more often than not at the moment, everything is a battle. I'm trying the giving two options thing so that she can't just reply 'No' to everything but I am worn out at the moment! Does this sound like your 3.7 year old...or is she being a complete monster? (she is and always has been a hypersensitive child, and shy in social situations...in fact, she is well behaved from what I hear at preschool and an angel in comparision to the others in her class at swimming lessons...but at home, she is a nightmare). Sorry for the ramble...any thoughts?

My DD is exactly the same age as yours (to the month), and sounds exactly the same. The emotional rollercoaster is EXHAUSTING. One minute you're getting on great and the next its all RUINED, aggghhhh - cue huge tantrum!

I just put the majority of it down to tiredness (DD won't have a sleep in the day, even if she is in pieces) and general contrary-ness (sp).

We regularly have conversations that basically go:

Me: Let's brush you teeth then.
DD: No, you won't let me brush my teeth.
Me: Of course I will, here's your toothbrush.
DD: But you won't let me put the toothpaste on.
Me: Yes I will - here it is.
DD: No but you won't let me.
Me: Of course I will - come on get brushing.
DD: No but you WON'T LET MEEEEEEE!
Me: DD I've just said for you to do it. COme on.
DD: You won't ever ever let me DO IT!
Me: You're just being silly now. I asked you to do it. Come on, brush.....
DD: I won't ever brush my teeth. YOU WON'T LET MEEEEEE!
Cue descension into melodramatic tantrum.

Sigh. I feel your pain!

Yes our conversations are like that too. And the contrary-ness thing!!! If I do two bowls of cereal exactly the same bowl, exactly the same cereal, exactly the same spoons etc etc, every time the one I give her isn't the right one. It's a constant battle of wills. The small things I let go but when it is all day every day, it wears me down. This evening she refused to eat tea so went without, wouldn't get undressed for bed, threw a ball (only a blow up one!) at her brother, pushed him in the bath so he nearly fell, screamed at me because I dared to empty out a bottle that she had filled up in the bath, etc etc, so she went to bed without her favourite teddy and without a story...but no doubt we will have the same tomorrow. She gets in teenage strops with me and it's a vicious circle because the worse she is, the more I have to punish (I can't just ignore when she is hurting her brother for example) and then the more moody she becomes....aaagggggghhhhhhh! Doesn't help that her 17 month old brother isn't sleeping well so we're all knackered! Anyone else in the same boat or any advice to offer...?

Oh, same boat here.

Ds is also 3.7 and it is a total rollercoaster. When he is nice, he is an utter joy, but boy is he a nightmare at times.

Afaik, it is totally normal.

Same here too except DD is only 2.11. She is utterly contrary all the bloody time.

I don't want X/Y/Z is what she says all day, even to things she loves. She also has a little brother she likes to torture play with or pick on, depending on her whims.

Normal I think, but oh so wearing.

Mine was like that, she has now turned 4 and we have her sleep sorted out and she is so much better. there is light at the end of the tunnel.

DS is almost 4 and has started acting like a teenager. When I tell him to do something he says things like I'm busy now I will do it in a minute or goes HUH ! really loudly and tries to stomp away.

Lord knows what he will be like when he is an actual tenager.

DD 3.4 is very much like your OP! Doesn't want, doesn't like and can't do are her 3 favourite phrases - except when she is ignoring me!!!!!!! I can ask her to do something and she ignores, tell her and she ignores, tell her if she doesn't do it by the count of 3 and she ignores! She ends up spending time in her room just so we both get a bit of time out.

Not sure if she has picked this up from me as i was using the ignore negative and reward positive behaviour method....or if she is just contrary!!

My thought is that, it will be over soon enough....and then we have the teenage years LOL!