What would you say about the emotional wellbeing of a child who did this?

[MrsPixie]

I don't want to give too much detail about this incident, but I have been asked for advice and would appreciate the thoughts of those who may have more experience of this kind of thing than me.

A 6 yo girl wrote letters to her class and put them in their picture pockets. The content was quite, well nasty really "XX is doing badly in school" "XX you are ugly" that kind of thing. These were all written in proper notepaper and envelopes and The Mother had no clue what was going on.

It is being dealt with by the school and the child is being "punished" appropriately, however I feel that this may be a sign that the child is troubled in some way, and maybe did this not out of true spite am I reading too much into it all? I have no experience of this age group at all really.

Appreciate any thoughts...

i think it's being dealt with by the school tbh and you should leave it to them. i'd imagine they would have told the mother as well. she might be troubled by something, right enough, but it's up to them to find out what it is. otoh she might just have been feeling like a right old ratbag that day and it's something that she regrets. none of your business though, i think.

I don't plan to do anything, this has happened within my family so does concern me to an extent.

I wouldn't say troubled as much as maybe jealous? Were the girls she was targetting obvious targets, IWSWIM? Was the doing badly girl actually doing much better than her, and the ugly girl actually really pretty? I would see it as the actions of someone quite insecure.

The problem is that at 6 she probably won't really understand or be able to articulate why she did it; you may never know what prompted it. And don't worry too much - a lot of little girls can be quite spiteful and grow up into perfectly nice and pleasant adults.

It does sound concerning, yes. Hopefully the school will look into it, and not just punish.

well she must be 'troubled' to a certain extent to have done such a thing but without more information about her background, it's impossible to speculate as to why.

could she be being bullied/excluded in some way?

Thank you Hassled/ Eglu

You have a good point, but these girls were her friends which is why the Mum is baffled as it was so out of the blue. She seems to be a happy girl but has run into some problems lately. It is hard to get into their little heads I suppose. V reassuring that it could just be a funny phase.

I remember going through a bit of a spiteful phase at age 6/7 - mine manifested itself with a bit of kleptomania! I clearly remember stealing from a little boy in my class - from his prized collection of pencil tops - another girl's beloved miniature Paddington bear, and even from my brother's money box. Things reached a head when I stole a silver bracelet from the 'Alpha' girl in my class. I came clean to my Mum, she ordered me to return the bracelet - pretending to the other girl's mother that I'd picked it up by accident - and warned me that if I ever stole again, she'd wallop me to within an inch of my life.
It is NOT something I'm proud of, and I've never stolen again! But what I remember very clearly is the anger I felt during my klepto phase. The Alpha girl was prone to subtle emotional bullying (excluding me from games, that sort of thing). My brother was a bit of a golden boy - I clearly remember feeling he was the favoured child at the time - and I resented him. My other two victims were lovely kids, but quite emotional and needy and tended to get a lot of attention from the teachers.
Looking back, it was all a cry for attention: feeling a bit bullied; marginalised within my family and not having my own emotional needs recognised by anyone at home or school. Years later, my Mum admitted she realised this at the time, and once the dust had settled started giving me a bit more positive attention (but not in a way that would make me feel my stealing was being rewarded!).
I wonder if the little girl in question is feeling angry and marginalised, too? Has anyone asked her WHY she felt she needed to do this?
If it helps, I have grown up into a very nice, responsible adult!
Good luck - I wouldn't recommend threatening to wallop her within an inch of her life like my Mum did with me, but I do think she's probably deeply unhappy and has a few ishooos.
Hope this helps!

Thank you for sharing that CS that really is so helpful. I think she is angry actually, but it is v hidden.