Ideas on stopping my 2 year old from opening his bedroom door, shouting and throwing stuff out...

[muppetgirl]

Sorry if this has been done before. I've searched old threads and can't find anything.

My 2 year old has been in a bed for a few months now and has only just started to get out of bed. He opened his door and was walking around and we found him in his baby brother's room putting toys in the cot.

We were worried he'd hurt his brother by accident (he got the snowglobe off the windowsill!!) so we put a babygate on his door. He now comes to the door and opens it (the door opens inwards) shouts for his bothers (he has 2) and throws his toys at his baby brothers door. We've found him asleep against the stairgate.

He wakes his brother up and we're not sure how to stop him doing it. I go in and return him to bed, no fuss, no conversation but he just gets up and opens the door once I go downstairs. He'll do this for ages, he is very strong willed!!

Any ideas??

Hello, This sounds like our DD, we also have a gate on her door!
We started by putting her back into bed, very quite, no talking,no eye contact, but that did not work.

So we left her, took no notice of all the fuss, and after about 5 long nights she gave up, we would put her back in bed when she was asleep.
We told her brother not to take any notice,and kept his door shut so the noise was not to bad. ( not so easy if they are younger)
give it a go, as long as his room is safe, and there is nothing he can hurt himself on, he will be ok.

poor you muppetgirl!

We had similar with my ds. He just gets up and sits at the top of the stairs though. I would try to get away from using a gate if you can. I think what you really want is for him to learn to stay in bed. Have you thought about putting the gate on his baby brother's door instead? That way, from his point of view you're not shutting him in, but from yours you know your baby's safe!

For us we take back to bed about 3 times, no talking (although ds is pretty clever at engaging a conversation!). Then we tell him quietly and clearly that if he gets up again we will put x away until morning. x usually is a soft toy in his bed, but not his favorite. We've had to follow through a couple of times. Cue big tears, toy is usually given back after a heartfelt apology and then we don't hear a peep!

HTH

thank you

he was getting in the bathroom too so that's why we did his room. He's a fab chap but very sure of his own mind!!

I think we might have to take his blanket, he's not bothered about any toys going not our style but he's really becoming a problem. I just wish he wouldn't wake his little brother -7 months. ds 1 is 5 and he ignore him but ds 3 wakes.

Be prepared to lose a few evenings but keep returning him back to bed. Don't go downstairs , stand at the top of the stairs, out of sight and keep putting him back to bed, First time with a few words and then now words, no eye contact.

Will take a lot of patience but it has worked loads of times on Supernanny.

been doing that. Not sure supernanny fits all and I think the programme would only sure the successes and not the failures? Ds 1 was very sarcastic about the naughty step!

Ds 2 doesn't get bored and actually sees it as a challenge I think.

Am going to see if I can fit one of those large 'fits all' stairgates that I can make an inner barrier to his door so he can't even get to it. If he can't get to the door, he'll get bored in a dark room.

Either that or I'll try the travel cot.

I think I would go with ignoring tbh. sounds like he is attention seeking so should hopefully get bored if you don't appear and put him back to bed! Obviously that's as long as there's nothing in his room he can do himself any damage with etc etc.........

I think Supernanny is a genius.......That's the point if you persistant he gets past the challenge stage and will finally reach the bored stage. Some kids it just takes longer.

I had to return DS to his room / shut the door 50+ times the other morning as he had been waking up at stupid o'clock and shouting the house down. I didn't give him eye contact or say anything, I think I bored him into submission. It was a pretty dreadful experience mind you, but it seems to have finally stopped him mucking about in the mornings.

Megletwantsittobesummer Exactly.....takes a lot of patience but worth it. He now knows you're the boss.

Each to their own I suppose and we all have different children who may or may not respond to different strategies and just because one way works for us it deosn't mean it will work for every child.

Tonight he's gone down with only 1 return which is unusual. he was sat with his teddy and blanket at his gate as i think he was listening to ds 1's story. He's very tired though as he's trying to give up his nap and only managed a sleep on the sofa today (he normally has 2 hrs in his bed)

He's totally different from ds 1 who moved his bedside cabinet across the room to get out -he used it to climb over the gate. When I took it out he then worked out how to open the gate using his shoulder and pushing up.

I am now wondering what ds 3 will do!

I'm sorry Muppetgirl, sounds like you'll need barbed wire and landmines for DS3. OR become pack leader so that they behave in a way that you want. Rather than barricading them in.

And yes I did have a son who climbed out of his cot etc!

I think turning the lights off, making it rather dull and boring to be at his gate was a much better soloution. He made the decision to stay in his bed last night either because he was tired or because he got no attention at all so was bored. (as suggested by other posters)

Returning him gave him the attention he wanted and with some children, as we know, some attention is better than no attention at all.

I prefer that my children are given the tools to be able to make decisions for themselves and not need me to impose my autoritarian control over them.

We've had evenings of returning (with downstairs light on so he could see in his room and down the hallway) and this didn't work yet turning the lights off and shutting the downstairs doors so he couldn't see anything worked. I know which I would recommend to anyone else!

You can be a perfectly good 'pack leader' if you are willing to work with your children, give them space and not try to force them to behave the way you want -some spirited children just rebel and love the fight and you need to change your parenting style to reflect this. One size does not fit all.

Thanks all