Not speaking

[atmywitssend]

Hi, I'm new here and as my name suggests am really losing the plot at the mo. My ds is 2 1/4 and doesn't really verbally communicate at all yet. he says hello down the phone, again, whatdat, makes train noises etc but that's it. he communicates in other ways and always gets what he wants - can find fruit, get drinks etc. He's learning to dress himself, knows colours. letters numbers etc and can (if he wants to!) follow instructions (bring this / take that put that etc).

He has a big head and saw a paed neurologist when he was 1 - no encaphaly risks. But due to the late speaking, we're seeing him again soon.

Our NHS speech therapy appoint won't be til late April / early may.

We saw a private speech therapist on Friday - =she said she was VERY concerned about his late development and muttered dyspraxia / autism, all sorts of stuff and suggested a referral to a child development centre.

I just don't know what to think / what to do / how to handle this. I've been in tears all weekend.

Any thoughts?

My dd2 is 3 at the end of march,she is completely non-verbal.
Took her to the gp at about 18 months,as she never babbled(she also does not walk)He referred us to the hospital paed,who did lots of tests(bloods,hearing etc),eventually at about 28 months she was sent for an MRI,which came back clear.
She is currently at the local CDC,but was seen from about 20 months at home by SALT.
We are still without a dx & it is very frustrating & upsetting.
Push for another hospital paed appt,poss for more tests & a definite referral to a community paed too.
Why the long wait for SALT???
Sorry not much advice to give but try posting this in SN section,as someone on there maybe able to help you better,they certainly helped me,we are a lovely bunch,but you are not alone.
Hugs

Poor you. How stressful. Why do professional mutter scary terms without telling you what the risks, impacts etc are and what to do?!? I hope you get some good professional advice soon that puts your mind at rest. I'm no expert into what proportion of the population speak at this age etc so sorry not to be of more use. I would suggest that alongside any professional advice, you consider signing with him to allow him to communicate more and develop his non verbal language skills. Tiny Talk do toddler signing classes and there are probably other groups in the special needs spectrum that might be useful.

Have you had his hearing tested?

2 of mine passed their early hearing tests, one went on to develop glue ear and at times had appalling hearing poor enough to be hearing impaired. Another dc had good hearing only for a third of the frequencies and again was hearing impaired/near hearing impaired for all the higher frequencies which are the first sounds they usually use.

Don't cry about it - he is your baby and he will still be the same little boy regardless of the speed of his speech development.

The "normal" range for amounts of speech is absolutely MASSIVE. I have 2 children - DS (3.11) and DD (1.11). DD's speech at 1.11 is the same as the speech DS had when he was about 3.6 - but both children are "normal" (DS has seen a SALT and she has confirmed this). At 2.3 / 2.4 my DS said very little and what he did say was not great - ie words were only a vague approximation of what they were supposed to be. He had only a few words and could occasionally string them together. This was vastly improved when he started at a school nursery.

Speech coming slower is very common in boys and also IMO a little more common in 1st borns as they don't have a sibling nattering at them all the time. Try not to worry about it and remember the normal range is vast.

Furthermore, at 2 1/4, his birthday is Oct/Nov? - he will be one of the older ones in his school year group so he will have a little advantage in terms of having a few more months for his speech to develop before going to reception.

Regarding how you handle this - you just need to love him primarily which you clearly do and also take the advice of your health professionals (providing you also consider it to be sensible). I found my son was helped a lot by going to a nursery attached to a school.

2 1/4 and not speaking should always raise concern and a private SALT may be more willing to be honest about this than an NHS one who has to fit in with an elaborate system for identifying and 'helping' children with speech problems. Although the other developmental markers you mention - receptive understanding, dressing etc sound positive and encouraging, you should still push to get a proper paed assessment at a CDC. You won't be railroaded into an autism dx on flimsy evidence, that only happens in books and films. But you need advice on how to get from receptive understanding to verbalising.

I would definitel suggest you find and read the other thread called something like 2 year old and not talking

there are about 50 people who have the same problem - sometimes boys dont speak until later. He sounds bright sociable and normal. Obviously I don't know him but i think the other thread will set your mind at rest. My eldest only had a few words at that age now he is top of his class, kids just develop at different times

Myy issue here is that the speech therapist has raised concerns about dyspraxia / autism. I think that your GP could quite easily refer DS to a pediatrician or (in my local area) there is a team that evaluates children at a specialist Development Centre. The child is being assessed by a speech therapist, a child psychologist, and a pediatrician.

In my experience, i spoke once to a private speech therapist on the phone to get a quote, and she was very panicky about my DS. She made me feel like something was dramatically wrong with him, although the doctors/specialists would say that basically it was just his speech that was delayed. It turned out that it was only his speech, as now he has started speaking at 2.6 and he will turn 3 in April and speaks much better now.

If you go to your GP and ask specifically about a pead assessment, you should get it. Just have a list in your head or written down of the reasons why you want the referral ane be firm. You could also ask your HV to help out, my HV spoke many times on my behalf to accelerate appontments.

Hi, my dd2 did not start speaking until she was 3.3 years old, she was diagnosed with Autism 6 months ago but this was because she had other issues as well as with speech, dd2 has sensory issues, loves routine, hates change and does not always respond to instructions/my voice.

Please try not to worry, if he has no other signs of Autism or dyspraxia chances are hes just a late talker or may have a language delay. Children with language delay sometimes show traits of ASD (even though they are not autistic) as not being able to communicate can become frustrating.

Dd2 was sent to SALT just after her 2 year check (so around 2.5 years old by the time we saw anyone).

yes Marne is right. DS had some repetitive play, but was not 'obsessive' about it. He loves numbers and shapes, and could/can concentrate on one toy for a very long period of time. He would line up his toys from the biggest to the smallest. He would have tantrums because we didn't understand what he was trying to say. Stuff like that. But his eye contact has always been good and his understanding was good as well.

Many thanks to you all for your wise words! I have arranged his 2 1/2 year check to be done early this wednesday and we have a paed appointment in about 3 weeks. Hopefully all will be well. Thanks again