3 year old anxious about death

[francesrivis]

Hello, just after some advice about my dd1. She is three and a half and quite a sensitive child who is going through a fearful phase. The other day we were watching the olympic ice skating and the commentator mentioned that the mum of one of the contestants had very sadly died earlier in the week. DD started asking quesitons about this and became very distressed and anxious, saying things like "I don't want to die" and "If you die, who will look after me?". I tried to reassure her but didn't really know what to say. Any advice? Am also wondering if such fears are normal at her age - she seems awfully young to be worrying about such things
TIA

My dd is 2.9 and has asked a lot of questions about death for several months now. She picks up on any comment about death, asks what happened to relatives (my Grandads for example), where you go after death, does it hurt etc. She was very anxious at first but we tried to be honest and simplistic and to reassure her that most people live until they are very old.

It was difficult when she realised that the picture of the baby on SIL's wall wasn't one of her living cousins. SIL's dd1 died from SIDS and dd asked a lot of very pointed questions (she asked me, not SIL) and she was upset but now talks about her and asks questions in a more matter of fact way.

It is difficult but all you can do is walk a fine line between honesty and reassurance. There are some lovely books as well, the Mog one and Badger's Parting Gifts for example that deal with this topic.

Gosh your dcs are so articulate, my dd nearly 3 is not yet at that stage, her speech is still developing wow.

I swear dd was born talking pigletmania. We have video footage of her at 18 months chattering on and on about the elephant that lives in our garden (there's no elephant). She's just an early talker, it all evens out in the end though. Line up a bunch of 6yr olds and I doubt you could tell which ones talked when. It's also not great when she can repeat what you say verbatim when you haven't even realised that she was listening in the first place. She asked Grandma last week what a 'piss up in a brewery' was.

Wow wish that my dd was like that, I talk ten to the dozen, but apparently according to my mum i was late too, and dh is very shy too so must take after him. Dd can talk but not in depth like your dcs. Like she will point out to her toys (the ones that make noise) thay they need batteries. Meaning they work with batteries but not about the meaning of life. Gosh! Yes i think it does they all catch up in the end. Apparently my auntie said that Albert Einestein was a late talker at 5 so there you go.

Oh no, i dread dd repeaing what i say, she is beginning to reat words that i say in conversation, she was going round saying probably all the time.

and 'dont touch my cupboards'

It means nothing at all, absolutely nothing. And I was an early talker too, so it's probably just inherited. She's currently explaining to the cats about evaporation and why the puddles end up back in the clouds. Oh ho, pmsl, she's very interested in the fact that a puddle can become a cloud, just like 'daddy says he's going to turn you into slippers Mr Cat'. Roffle. She just opens her mouth and it falls out, from the minute she wakes to the minute she falls asleep. It's very noisy. And constant.

It is funny when they repeat you. She tells dh when he's shouting at the rugby 'that is not an appropriate form of communication'.

My ds started school in September (catholic) and he also is freaked by death. He has accepted that old people die but when news is on and it's about achild or. Younger person who's died all the questions start up. I am dreading Easter what with him being at catholic school lol!!! I think it's normal. Ps my ds was v early talker and got me in trouble a few times with copying lol! X

Thanks for responses. Show of hands - I like the book idea. We have had the Mog one from the library a while back so I might get that again. Do you know who the badger one is by?

I think what I find hard is that most of her fears so far have been of things like monsters and witches, and I can reassure her that they are not real - not something you can do with this one!