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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

my dd (8) has asked me if she can email her friends i think this is too youngends my feeling is this is too young

13 replies

Mercedes · 26/02/2010 22:46

My dd as I've said in the title has asked about contacting her friends on the internet. She wants to use cbbc to send messages to her friends. I think she's too young although its difficult to explain my feelings. She's explained to me that it's for kids and its all checked and monitored. She's marshalled very good arguments about safety and access which I'm proud of on one level.

But...I'm not worrying (now) about potential adults lurking around but worry about starting off too early on the internet and the world of cyber bullying that's waiting for her. The other children she knows at school who go on the penguin club all have older siblings and learn from them. Am I luddite or is this a safe way of learning how to negotiate the internet?

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Original poster

Mercedes · 26/02/2010 22:46

Sorry I didn't realise my title went on like that

OP posts:

t875 · 27/02/2010 00:25

mine started at 8 but she is well aware to keep it basic no addresses phone numbers passwords on there etc, i keep a check on her and we have rules. She deletes anything she doesnt know and will ask me if unsure.

She is ok and its worked out well for her.

My daughter is also on something called club penguin which is also good, online community they are a penguin and they can chat to each other, its basic chat and the site is heavily monitored. Just rules of dont talk to anyone you dont know etc.

GoldenTomato · 27/02/2010 00:40

Children are growing up in a different world and they are tasught internet sdafety from a young age and probably know more than you do about safety. i know my sons school have regular inputs on internet safety.My 9 year old does Club Penguin along with his 5 year old brother. 5 year old. 5 year doesn't 'chat', just plays the games. 9 year old only seems to chat with his RL friends. You need to get yourself up to speed so you are in a position to monitor. Club penguin allows you as the parent to access your childs accounts to see what they are up to so you need to make sure you can.

When my 9 year old (then 8) first went on Club Penguin I was a bit concerned and started to give him a few ground rules to keep things safe but it was quite clear he knew them all and in fact gave me a few more safety measusres than I'd even thought off.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 27/02/2010 05:30

My dd has had a gmail acount for a couple of years now. She seldom uses it but it's useful to keep in touch with her friends. We don't live in the UK and telephone calls would be too costly. She is nearly nine.

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 07:05

We have to teach children how to email safely in Y3, it's on the plan. Some schools start in Y2.

nooka · 27/02/2010 07:14

My dd has a googlemail account, that we started for her a couple of years ago when we emigrated (she's 9 now). I used to supervise her mainly because she was always asking how to spell things At this age the emails tend to be very very short and inconsequential.

Club penguin is fine, nice games and you can only "talk" to people you know already.

ArtyJennie · 27/02/2010 17:30

It will really benefit their ICT skills as well as social skills- the key is to have access to everything they do so you know they are safe and can monitor if you feel the need

Original poster

Mercedes · 27/02/2010 23:49

My DD wants to join cos 2 of her friends are on club penguin but I think her 2 friends aren't particularly nice to her and I hate the thought that they'll ignore her or not chat to her. My dp thinks keeping her off it gives them a weapon over her.

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 28/02/2010 05:01

Club penguin should be safe. It is very heavily moderated.

SofiaAmes · 28/02/2010 05:25

I gave my ds a gmail address for xmas when he was 9. I get a copy of all the email he receives which are only from his grandparents and uncle since no one else he knows has their own email address. More importantly, the computer that he has access to is in the living room so I can easily supervise. My dd (7) asked to join Club Penguin and I let her join the free bit, but not the paying bit.
I think the most important thing you can do is have the computer be in a public place in your house and make sure you completely understand the websites that she goes on. Keeping kids from the internet is sort of a lost cause in this day and age as they have access to computers just about everywhere they go. So it's probably better to teach them how to use one wisely, than not teach them at all.

CarmenSanDiego · 28/02/2010 05:41

My 6 and 8 year old use BellaSara, Club Penguin and Pixie Hollow. They're all well moderated and pretty safe. I think they're quite a good introduction to the world of the internet and a gradual curve. My 6yo is very eager to 'report' people doing things she doesn't like. Perhaps a bit too eager!

Original poster

Mercedes · 28/02/2010 22:13

Thanks for all the people re-assuring me about club penguin. But just as I was feeler at ease my dd told me it wasn't club penguin but My cbbc - has anyone any experience of this programme?

OP posts:

pigletmania · 28/02/2010 22:49

I think that e mailing friends is fine, has your dd got their e mail addresses. Technology is part of day to day life, and the e mail has replaced letter writing its another medium for communicating. I would keep the computer public where you can see it and have parental controls on it too.

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