If you have a 3 or 4 year old what sort of things can they do for themselves?

[suiledonne]

DD1 will be 4 in May. She started preschool in Sept but due to a chronic flare up of her asthma which landed her in hospital 3 times we made the decision to remove her again.

We now have the option to start her again shortly or wait until Sept.

She really wasn't settling in school and being in and out due to illness didn't help but there were other problems too.

I have really babied(sp?) her and she isn't inclined to do things for herself. For example the teacher said that when it came to lunchtime dd didn't want to get her own lunchbag from the cupboard.

She has been toilet trained for over a year but still likes me to take her to the bathroom.

She can dress herself very slowly but really struggles with shoes and socks.

She helps me tidy up if I make a game of it and plays quite well independently.

What can your 4 year old do for herself?

How can I encourage dd to be more independent?

I am aware that some children her age would be starting real school in September so I don't want her to be behind.

Thanks

Erm, she sounds totally normal to me? The thing I would work on is getting her to go to the loo herself and shoes.

Ds is 3 (just)

he still gets me to go to loo with him

can dress himself but not very good with shoes / jumpers

PS so when she starts school she will be 5yrs 4m? Will she go straight into Y1 rather than reception?

DS will be 4 in a couple of weeks and sounds just like your DD.

He will go for a wee alone, but likes company if he needs a poo.

He can't put socks on, but can do shoes (velcro type).

He would much prefer life if I would fetch and carry for him all the time, and frequently tells me that '3 is too small' to do x, y or z.

I think he's just a bit lazy, and would prefer to be baby'd if the option is there.

He is seeing his 4th birthday as a great milestone though, after which he will be very big and will do lots of things. Especially sleeping all through the night without waking mummy or daddy up .

I really wouldn't worry, your DD sounds fine.

my 3yo can do pretty much anything at all that he shouldn't!!! ask him to do anything worth doing though and he's a bit rubbish!

he will get himself dressed, but only into his sisters princess dress, he can get his own food, by climbing up to the top cupboard to steal chocolate....

i wouldn't worry too much at all. i found that with all 3 of my kids, they have become much more independent when they watch other children doing things...they don't want to be left behind..

you could try helping her to do things and they saying "i'll pop back after i've had a wee" kind of thing, and give her heaps of praise when she does something..

i'm sure she'll be just fine.

children have lots of different strengths...my ds, 9yo is super clever, quick, intellectual etc, but won't can't hardly do anything at all for himself. my dd, 6yo however could probably run a hose for a week, cook for her brothers and get them both dressed every day, but writes all her letters backwards.

not hose...HOUSE!!!!

Thanks. I feel much better already.

waitingforbedtime We are not in the UK so reception as such - just straight into school. Children can start the Spetember after they turn 4 but lots of parents wait til 5 so there is a big mix of ages in the class. DD will be one of the older ones I would guess.

She will definitely be one of the older ones in her preschool class in September but she has never been in childcare as I am a SAHM so I think she needs a year of preschool first.

We are hoping she will get stronger as she grows and the asthma will improve.

lol at your description chimchar sounds a bit like dd.

Omnidroid We have sleeping issues too. DD spends most nights in with me. Poor DH is relegated to the spare bed!

My 3 year old DD would like to be carried up and down the stairs at home, as her legs are 'too short' but manages to run up and down the ones at nursery school as she's a 'big girl'

suile sounds like my 4 year old to me. She can dress herself, but it takes forever and she can't do tights/shoes etc... She can go to the toilet but not very good at wiping afterwards.
I don't think you can make a child more independent. Like others have seen, more likely they will see their next birthday as a milestone and want to become independent on their own. EG my dd says "when i'm 5 I can do ...."
Does she spend any time with slightly older kids who she could look up to a bit. My dd has a friend who is a year older and can't wait to do the things she does e.g. start big girls school, swimming lessons, ride a bike etc...